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No Wedding Dress...

oxox14oxox14 member
First Comment
in New Jersey

My wedding is 9 months away and after trying on over 150 dresses I still can't find the "perfect" dress. I have been to huge stores with tons of selection in NYC  & NJ(Amsale, Bridal Reflections, Kleinfelds, Exquisite Bride, Bridal by Roma...) and still can't find anything I like. I am really starting to worry that I will never find my dream wedding dress and settle have to settle on something mediocre. Did anybody else feel like this??

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Re: No Wedding Dress...

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    smw42smw42 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Are you bringing the right people with you? I found that made a world of a difference. Try not to worry about the time you have left and *try* to enjoy the process and it will be much better. I'm sorry I don't have more advice to offer!
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    oxox14oxox14 member
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    edited December 2011
    thanks that's great advice! i hate to be a downer, but a little discourage after spending the whole day yesterday shopping and nothing. :-(
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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Sherri, but would add that maybe you're expecting too much?  Some people are wired to try on one dress and burst into tears and know it is the one (although even some of those people later question their decisions), but for others of us, "Ooh, pretty -- I like this more than the other dresses I've tried on" is about as enthusiastic as we'll get.  I'm someone who isn't wired to think that there's one perfect dress for everyone out there, but I also didn't feel that I had to settle as a result.

    I'd keep looking and maybe be more realistic about what you're looking for.  You may not find your perfect dream wedding dress, but I bet you'll be able to find one that is great on you and fits your wedding and makes you feel beautiful.  There's a lot of space between "dream wedding dress" and mediocre.
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    Denise91980Denise91980 member
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Do you know what designers that you like? I tended to really like Maggie Sottero and Casablanca, so I looked at bridal salons that tended to carry those designers. I would look at what designer dresses you like and look into stores that carry them and you may be more successful.
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    sk2342sk2342
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I felt EXACTLY the same way.. i felt like i "liked" a lot of dresses  but didn't find THE ONE.. i went to 13 places lol- my mom and sister wanted to kill me. but i did finally find the one. its perfect.

    the hard part is that there is so much pressure on this one dress and I couldn't believe that one dress was it. even after i fell in love i questioned my decision, but i kept telling myself i have been everywhere and that was my dream dress and that i need to go with my gut and not worry. there are way too many other things to deal with in the next few months!
    goodluck! u will find it, dont worry!!
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    gia0404gia0404 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Have you been looking in magazines. I find that they are/were so helpful. Just start ripping out pages and maybe take bottoms from 1 dress and tops from another. Then you will se exactly what it is you envision yourself wearing that day. It may be a bit easier for you once you have a vision in your head to look for...
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    oxox14oxox14 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i know the desingers i like, but when i get to see the dresses in person it's never appears as i thought it would.

    thanks for the words of encouragement!
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    smw42smw42 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_wedding-dress-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:eb090785-fae1-442b-b50d-3088e54726dfPost:ca3a9a3a-16dd-426f-ba16-06a08e648939">Re: No Wedding Dress...</a>:
    [QUOTE]i know the desingers i like, but when i get to see the dresses in person it's never appears as i thought it would. thanks for the words of encouragement!
    Posted by oxox14@aol.com[/QUOTE]


    I felt the same way! I kept focusing on the designers I liked in magazines and always disliked the gowns when I tried them on. The gown I ended up purchasing was by a designer I never ever looked at in magazines. Try to take the pressure off yourself and enjoy the procees- it'll happen!
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    andreapnycandreapnyc member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    oxox i am in the EXACT same position, i think we've been to the same places too. i've been everywhere, NJ and NYC.. i went to 2 places this past weekend and narrowed it down to 2, which was my goal for that day, and  i said i will decide within a week on THE dress.. every day since saturday the one i like better changes. now im thinking maybe neither of them are right!!  its so confusing and so frustrating and im sick of looking at dresses. i LIKE almost all the dresses i try on bc i know what style i want, i really really like them a lot, but i dont LOVE IT enough to buy it. there is so much pressure, i really do feel you on this. 
    i keep trying to imagine myself in one of the 2 dresses to try to decide but its not really helping.

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    leah2bleah2b member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I found my dream dress at Cymbeline NYC (Paris designers) - its at 19th and 5th.  They have some reallly interesting and different designs. 
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    Danes983Danes983 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I didnt try on that many, but I kindof felt similar. In fact the dress I bought I didnt love at first. I said i hated it.   But something told me to put it in on the maybe pile.  When I tried it on the 2nd time I knew it was the one.  So maybe take a deep breath and think about the styles u like and what how u want to look more than the feeling you are looking for.
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    oxox14oxox14 member
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    edited December 2011
    andrea...that's great you found 2...one of them has to be right. i have never had the feeling of liking 2 dresses. your lucky you know exactly what you want and are finding dresses similar. the fact you found a couple is a good sign!

    i know i want a sweetheart neckline, dropped waist, fit-and-flat or trumpet dress with a low back and lots of crystals. i want crystals from top down to the drop waist (not the whole thing- just accented) then a simple trumpet skirt with some accents on the bottom. i want the back to be low and some details of the train...impossible to find!
    basically this top with a different bottom
    http://www.jlmcouture.com/Jim-Hjelm/Bridal/Additional/Style-8702

    i know i can alter the dress, but it get's so expensive and i am scared of spending the money and not knowing exactly what it is going to look like...decisions, decisions lol
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    cutiepie12702cutiepie12702
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I totally thought I was going to end up in your position but fortunately did not. I picked out four different Maggie Sottero dresses I liked online, went to the store and ended up really liking one but it was just too heavy for me to carry around all day (especially in August). There was another Maggie dress I just randomly pulled...and as soon as I put it on I KNEW it was the one. It was the kind of dress I had always dreamed of having and it fit the theme of my wedding (it's def. a princess dress and my wedding is in a big ballroom). My Mom also took pics of a lot of the dresses I tried on (not sure if yours has done the same) but it's very helpful to go back and look at those pics and see which styles I liked myself in and which I didn't. If you have pics, maybe going back and looking through pics will make you feel more confident as to what specifically you like and don't like (and maybe will remind you of a dress you already tried on and maybe want to take a second look at). Good luck!!
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    smw42smw42 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Your description reminds me of a couple different Lazaro gowns and some Private Label gowns. It sounds like you have what you want in mind, just need to find the right gown.

    http://www.jlmcouture.com/Lazaro/Bridal/Additional/Style-3903
    http://www.jlmcouture.com/Lazaro/Bridal/Additional/Style-3855
    http://www.jlmcouture.com/Lazaro/Bridal/Additional/Style-3865
    http://www.jlmcouture.com/Lazaro/Bridal/Additional/Style-3804
    http://www.jlmcouture.com/Lazaro/Bridal/Additional/Style-3750
    http://www.jlmcouture.com/Lazaro/Bridal/Additional/Style-3757
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    oxox14oxox14 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    sherri...you get what i am looking for! i wrote down most of those dresses! i  just made an appointment for a jim hjelm trunk show. it's hard finding those exact styles in stores so i think the trunk show will be great for me.
    thanks so much,
    jen
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    smw42smw42 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Aw I'm so happy I was able to help! Best wishes and you definitley have to let us know when you find THE gown!!
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    peaches85peaches85
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I hope you luck out at the trunk show.  But if not, then maybe you're too caught up in finding the dress that you've envisioned with the exact shape, style, and detailing that you just described?  Some girls go into the dress hunt knowing that they want a mermaid style and refuse to look at anything like a ballgown (for instance) and then the bit poofy ballgown is what winds up looking best on them and that's what they fall in love with.

    Again, I hope you have luck with the Jim Hjelm trunk show, but I just wanted to throw that out there.
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    gymchick05gymchick05
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    edited December 2011

    I agree that some people just dont find "the one." I am someone that does not get super excited over a dress and really never gave thought to anything wedding related before I was engaged. I watch those wedding shows and they cry, the whole family crys, they know its the one, etc etc - I was pretty sure that wasnt gonna happen for me and I was right. I only went dress shopping twice- the first time I got an idea of the style/cut I liked then the 2nd time I went only to stores that carried those designers. The dress I selected included what I was looking for and the best of both worlds from other dresses I tried on. I said to myself, I like it a lot, it has what Im looking for, and I will probably find a few other dresses I like just as much, but doubtful I will find one I love way more, so I got it.

    It may have been settling a bit, but I can be very indecisive so if I tried on 100s of dresses I would probably never decide. My advice is find a dress you really like and feel good in and get it. It doesnt necessarily mean its "the one"


    Good luck!

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    viviannacviviannac member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I felt the same exact way when I was dress shopping.  It took me several months and 20 plus stores.  I also did not have that OMG this is my dress moment that many brides describe.  I was very nervous and second guessed my decision but when it arrived and I tried on my dress, I loved it. 

    I would suggest do not box yourself in to looking at only certain designers.  That was part of my mistake in the beginning.  Go in with a silhouette in mind and give them ideas on how much embellishment you want (beading, crystals, lace, etc).  Also use the people at the dress shop because they know their inventory better than anyone else.  Lastly, keep an open mind b/c what you love in a magazine may be beautiful on the girl in the magazine but it may not be the best fit for you. 

    Good luck with the dress hunt and don't let it get you down, you will find the one for you. 
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    37 Butter Knives37 Butter Knives member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_wedding-dress-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:eb090785-fae1-442b-b50d-3088e54726dfPost:9e64ec97-e493-4083-944b-0e8312b85024">Re: No Wedding Dress...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: No Wedding Dress... : I felt the same way! I kept focusing on the designers I liked in magazines and always disliked the gowns when I tried them on. The gown I ended up purchasing was by a designer I never ever looked at in magazines. Try to take the pressure off yourself and enjoy the procees- it'll happen!
    Posted by smw42[/QUOTE]

    So true! I originally had my heart set on Pronovias or Rosa Clara, but they looked so disappointing in real life (probably because I swear their 6-foot-tall models are also standing on a box!). The dress I ended up choosing is by Marisa, a label that was never on my list because they don't advertise or spend money on marketing (their website doesn't even feature their dresses!).

    Take a breather, then go back shopping with a clear mind (and no more than two people!). Good luck!
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    demarcosjddemarcosjd
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was in a similar situation. I never thought I would have been as picky with my dress. It took me 6 months to find my dress and countless trips to bridal salons. I had an idea in my head of what I wanted but it was hard to find it. I loved pictures in magazines and would think this is the dress. Then I would try them on and get so disappointed because it wasn't what I thought it would be. I agree with pp's don't take tons of people with you who will give many different opinions. It's easy to feel like you need to please them and not your self. After countless dresses I finally found mine. I still didn't have that this is it over the top dress moment. I learned that not everyone experiences that. Don't focus so much on that initial this is the dress moment and go with what works best for you and what you feel great in.
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    katetwkatetw member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sounds a little like my story! I went to Kleinfeld's first, and thought I definitely only ever wanted a mermaid dress. I tried on a ballgown for fun and fell in love with that. Then everywhere else I went, I ONLY tried on ballgowns... I was getting really frustrated that I wasn't having "the moment" until a saleswoman pulled out a mermaid Maggie Sottero randomly... and... well, I love it! But it wasn't like a moment with choirs of angels or anything. I just decided I was sort of done shopping and it was lovely and I liked it best.

    However, it sounds an awful lot like what you're looking for. Maggie Sottero's Anniston - it's a lot more fitted and fit-and-flare-y than it looks in the stock picture, though, which you might like (I do!).
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    oxox14oxox14 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    kate...i love that maggie dress! i have actually never seen that dress before. thanks for letting me know about it. i will definitely make sure i try that on!
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    katetwkatetw member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I actually only saw it at one store - nowhere else I called had it. True Love Bridal in Holmdel has one - I ordered my dress somewhere else, but that's where I tried it on, and they're very nice.
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