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Grooms Dinner/Rehearsal Dinner...

shan87shan87
2500 Comments Combo Breaker
in Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul
Ok ladies before I brave the Etiquette board ...

What is PC for who gets an Invite tot he Grooms Dinner/Rehearsal Dinner?

I know everyone that is at the rehearsal. My Mom and I are not on the same page for the little ones. We both want the dinner to be laid back and low key. Right now we don't have a location as our number is fluid depending on the responses here. :)

Ok the so cluster that is the little ones. My FG, RB, JR BM, 11 yr old Cousin handing out Bubbles for our exit -- all have siblings. My Mom doesn't think they should be invited but I think its mean to exclude them- I mean there parents and brother/sister get to go and they don't. I mean they are all my cousin and family. But if that happens our 45 becomes 55 -- My mom thinks with all the little kids its going to become chaos and she doesn't want it to be like our family holidays. Which I get but I am not good at exclusion LoL. If its normal I'm okay with it. But need your advice!!

Thanks ladies! :)
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Re: Grooms Dinner/Rehearsal Dinner...

  • wittyschaffywittyschaffy member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Honestly, I don't know how you'd include a participant like a ring bearer and NOT include the other siblings.  Seems kinda unfair.  I get where you're coming from though on it adding quite a few folks but I think if it were me, I'd include all of them. 

    I didn't have any kids in our wedding party and we didn't invite any kids to our rehearsal dinner (mostly because there were none to have invited!)  My sister, on the other hand, had arranged for a sitter the night of the rehearsal dinner.  She had it at Cooks of Crocus Hill and everyone was going to be rolling up their sleeves and cooking.  not a good spot for kids even if they were part of their wedding.  Everyone was totally OK with that because they wanted to be able to enjoy themselves and not have to keep an eye on their kiddo who is trying to lick a knife or put their hand on a hot burner. 
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  • Steph0871Steph0871
    5000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    No matter what, I think all of a family should be invited.  If it's fairly casual and laid back anyway, I think you should invite all the kids.  

    Typically, immediate families, wedding party members and their SOs/families need to be there.  Some people will included more extended families or even OOT guests.  But I don't think you can invite half families.
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  • shan87shan87
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Steph - Question for ya then. Without the Kids Siblings we are already at 45. If I add my immediate family we are looking at 75. There is no way that we are going to be able to accommodate that... How do you suppose I cut it down? haha I have a crazy big family :)
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  • Steph0871Steph0871
    5000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That sucks; I'm sorry.

    I guess... are you planning on inviting sibling A and parents and then not inviting Sibling B and C?

    Could you just make it an all adult thing and not invite any of the kids? (even if they're in the RD?)  I think it's gotta be like the actual wedding guest list... all or nothing.  All cousins or none; all aunts/uncles or none....

    This is another list I'm not excited to make, to be honest.  We've got some family drama and I have no clue who's going to want to be in the same room as others.... I think it's time to elope ;)
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  • shan87shan87
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    LoL. I left it up to my Mom since she took it over. But today at lunch we got to talking about the number because she kept saying it was going to be at the house. And I was like umm where is everyone going to be haha

    If it goes the way my mom wants currently
    Yes,
    Parents Plus Child A and sitter for child B and C

    I don't like this at all. So I am going to suggest just Adults. But I don't think this is going to sit while with my Aunts and Uncles who are the Parents. My Cousin is getting married in 2 weeks. So I am going to watch what he does LoL. See how it goes.


    Yay for more awkwardness! :)
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  • tpender13tpender13 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Shan, maybe you could do a barbeque somewhere. For FI's step-sister's they just rented out a building at a park/campground which was relatively inexpensive, then borrowed grills and just did a bunch of burgers, brats, dogs, and stuff like that. They had a ton of people too, practically everyone that was at the wedding.
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  • VeittobeVeittobe member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We are only doing bridal party, their significant others and our parents.  We only have 1 ring bearer for kids so he's the only one who will be attending.  

    We thought about inviting more family, but we didn't think we could handle the numbers that high so we kept it at bridal party only.  
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  • shan87shan87
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    tpender13  I am really pushing for the park a block from the Church. But my mom doesnt want to chance the weather... even though there is a huge pavillon fully enclosed... She is thinking about options. So We'll see.
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  • kmr333kmr333
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Do you have rooms blocked off for guests at a hotel?  Maybe you could rent (or ask them if you can use it free of charge, considering your room block) a conference room and have food catered in.  It may not sound like the classiest idea, but that is what I am thinking about doing because I think we will have a lot of people and not a lot of budget.
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  • shan87shan87
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    kmr - The hotel has offered us their banquet room but we can't bring in our own food. My mom and I are looking for a place away from the reception site.
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  • Genevieve04Genevieve04
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wanted mine to be on the smaller size so I only invited the parents, the bridal party and their dates.
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