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Invite to shower but not wedding?

candicejo17candicejo17
in Pre-wedding Parties
I am having a small, out of town wedding with about 40 guests. I feel it is inappropriate to invite family/friends to the wedding shower, but not the wedding itself. To solve this dilemna, and be able to celebrate the wedding with more family and friends, I was thinking of having an informal party after the wedding.   I feel like most of them would actually be grateful that they don't have to travel out of town for the wedding itself.   Would guests have their feelings hurt only being invited to the shower and after party, and not the wedding itself?
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Re: Invite to shower but not wedding?

  • lenergyrlahlenergyrlah member
    100 Comments
    If someone isn't close enough to watch you get married and be properly thanked (invited to the reception),  they aren't close enough to celebrate your wedding or give a gift.  So don't invite them to any other wedding-related parties or showers.
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  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    1000 Comments
    If theya re going to be invited to the wedding parties, they need to be invited to the wedding itself.  

    Either invite them to:
    The shower and the wedding
    or
    the party when you return.
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  • gennavgennav member
    10 Comments
    It's true that many people will view being invited to a post-wedding party, but not the wedding, as an opportunity for you to get more gifts without having to pay for them to attend the wedding. However, if you really want to be able to celebrate with them (despite not being able to invite them to the wedding), I think having a party after the wedding is OK, provided you make it very clear on the invites that there are to be NO GIFTS. Some people might still be offended that they weren't invited, but at least you will eliminate the air of being greedy for gifts.
    As for a pre-wedding shower: you only invite people to the shower that will be invited to the wedding. I'm pretty open-minded to rules being bent, but I would never bend on that one.
    Good luck:)
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