BM hasn't ordered her dress

Re: BM hasn't ordered her dress

• brainybrunette member

  

  August 2012

  I think honestly is the best policy when it comes to this.  I would say that if she doesn't order the dress ASAP it will not be in on time, that you don't have the funds to help her out, and that you won't be offended if she can't be in the wedding.  Make it clear that you don't want her to be hurt nor do you want this to negatively impact your friendship, but this needs to get taken care of one way or another very very soon.

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• insanityofamom member

  

  August 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_bm-hasnt-ordered-her-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:2f3d207d-b9e8-4f10-9049-5604256a822aPost:feaefea6-25c2-4c54-bbd4-5dc9c0248baa">Re: BM hasn't ordered her dress</a>:
  [QUOTE]I think honestly is the best policy when it comes to this.  I would say that if she doesn't order the dress ASAP it will not be in on time, that you don't have the funds to help her out, and that you won't be offended if she can't be in the wedding.  Make it clear that you don't want her to be hurt nor do you want this to negatively impact your friendship, but this needs to get taken care of one way or another very very soon.
  Posted by Nic12184[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>This. </div><div>
  </div><div>I would politely remind her that the dress has an 8 week lead on it, and it neeeds to be ordered by "X" date (Maybe by Friday?). Then I would say that you understand how life can get complicated, and if she can't feel she can order the dress and shoes then you would be honored if she could attend the wedding as a guest instead. </div><div>
  </div><div>You don't have any time left for wishy-washy mushy stuff, so stay firm. </div><div>
  Good luck! </div>

  
  
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• achiduck member

  

  August 2012

  I agree with PPs, at this point it's just really too close to the wedding to be giving her any leeway with ordering the dress. You offered to help earlier in the year and she didn't take you up on that and now it's almost too late. I would gently let her know that the deadline is Friday (provided they even have her size) and that if she can't get the dress by then she'll have to attend as a guest. I'm never a fan of "booting" a bridesmaid but this is a different situation.

  
  

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• mrskristinyc member

  

  August 2012

  Would it be the end of the world if she found a different dress that costs less (but in a similar color/style to what the other girls are wearing)? I'd rather have "mismatched" bridesmaids than make a close friend feel bad about not having money. Are perfectly matching bridesmaids more important to you than your friendship with her? I'm sure she feels terrible about not being able to buy the dress, and kicking her out of the wedding will make her feel worse. Could you pay for half of her dress? Was she okay with the price when you initially picked the dress?

  
  

  If you're ordering from DB, their lead time is a bit misleading. All of my girls were told 2 months, and they ALL had their dress within three weeks, so there might be more time than you think.

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• annanoel21

  

  August 2012

  I had the exact problem! I got to the point I would ask her a few times a week if she had ordered it. She kept telling me, "no, it will be fine, don't worry about it". Don't worry about it!?! It's MY flipping wedding and you don't have your dress!!! I guess I hounded her enough that she finally ordered it this week!

  

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• tristalwedding

  

  August 2012

  Thanks for all of your advice!!  We had a great talk about it last night and she is going to try and get the dress this Friday.  I made sure to let her know as long as she is at the wedding in some capacity, I am happy.  From the way the conversation ended, it seemed like it was somewhat of a relief that if she isn't able to get the dress the world isn't going to crumble and she isn't going to ruin the wedding.

  
  

  All my BMs were given the option of choosing a dress that suited them whether it be for body type or budget or both, it just had to be a certain color and length.  Interestingly enough, all but one of the them chose the same dress.  I have had to pay nearly $200 of bridesmaid dresses in the past and I did not want my ladies to do the same thing.  

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• mrskristinyc member

  

  August 2012

  Glad it all worked out!

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