Enough?

blegare · April 2011

I am having trouble coming up with anything more to put on our registry, but I'm afraid I don't have enough items.

We are 27 and 29 and have lived together for 2 years already and own our home, so we have a lot of stuff already (toaster, nice pots & pans, nice knives, etc.)

We have three registries and between the three we have 140 items ranging in price from $5 to $300. My question is - is this enough? I read a few places that you should have 2 items per invited guest but that just seems like A LOT and I don't want to register for things we don't need or want. We are inviting rougly 270 people and I am having one shower with roughly 50 people invited.

Thanks in advance!

jessicabessica · April 2011

The two per guest thing is unnecessary. I think you have enough for now. As your shower and wedding get closer, check your registries to be sure there are still a good number of things in various price ranges. I wouldn't register for more stuff that you want. You can always go back and add lower priority items if your lists get low.

MyNameIsNot · April 2011

Two items per guest is pretty silly. Many of your guests will give cash at the wedding anyway, and some don't give gifts at all, others will shop off registry. So really, less than half will even use the registry. And of those, you're generally talking about one gift per couple/family, not per guest. There will be a few things where a guest will give more than one gift (set of towels, etc), but for the most part, you'll get individual gifts. This should be plenty.

Just keep an eye on it. If you get past the shower and close the the wedding and it's starting to look picked over, you might want to consider some additions.

ldawg14 · April 2011

I think the two gifts per guest "rule" was made up by BB&B.

blegare · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_enough?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:de307b67-080c-460e-8de5-a42bec77044fPost:711d7a45-fec2-47e8-abf8-4a2df67d2da3">Re: Enough?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think the two gifts per guest "rule" was made up by BB&B.
Posted by ldawg14[/QUOTE]

LOL - you might be right. We didn't register there, it's just a number I found when I was doing a search.

blegare · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_enough?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:de307b67-080c-460e-8de5-a42bec77044fPost:90681bc3-1094-4533-9d2f-d04fbfe1db7c">Re: Enough?</a>:
[QUOTE]Two items per guest is pretty silly. Many of your guests will give cash at the wedding anyway, and some don't give gifts at all, others will shop off registry. So really, less than half will even use the registry. And of those, you're generally talking about one gift per couple/family, not per guest. There will be a few things where a guest will give more than one gift (set of towels, etc), but for the most part, you'll get individual gifts. This should be plenty. Just keep an eye on it. If you get past the shower and close the the wedding and it's starting to look picked over, you might want to consider some additions.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

Great points - thanks!

mary9449 · April 2011

Skip the "rule", it's silly. However, monitor your registry after showers and as your wedding gets closer. If you feel like you need more things on there, add to it.

noodle_oo · April 2011

I agree with everything already said, but I will also add that you shoudln't feel pressured to add stuff to your registry if you really don't want/need it. So if you've already registered for just about everything you want, then let it be and people will either give you cash or a heartfelt gift of their choosing. I know I walked around the store and I just didn't NEED anything else and I didn't want to add stuff just for the sake of adding it, especially if I couldn't see us actually using it.

kellya01 · April 2011

If you look on BB&B's registry info, they now say "2 gifts per gift giver" as a suggestion to start. Some need less, some need more. I think they key word in the whole statement is that it is a "suggestion," not a rule. IMO, that suggestion makes sense. It gives every gift-giver at least 2 options (if not more) and that is good for price point as well as type of item.

Macy's registry information STILL says "2 per guest." Come on, Macy's, get with the program. :-)

You have plenty of items on your list, IMO. Don't go adding items you don't need, because if you get them, what in the world will you do with them but leave them in storage? Update or upgrade things you already have, get a few things you don't have and would eventually purchase, and then add a few items you'd save up the $$ and purchase ONE DAY, as some guests may choose to go in together on a bigger gift that you wouldn't normally be able to afford without time saving up for it.

That has worked for me so far, and we have about 150 items total on our registries (BB&B and Sears), for 170 invited guests or about 100 gift givers. We just don't need things beyond what's on the list, and we'd prefer to get everything on our list rather than some lower priority items we'd probably never use anyway.

stitchingchica · April 2011

I'm in the minority, but that's since you said you have a shower with 50+ guests. If you are worried about too much "stuff," you should have declined or minimized the size of your shower. I had 40 invited to my shower, and due to few declines, I got 40 gifts that took up about 40 items on my registry (some gave gift cards or things I didn't register for, and some had mult. registered items). The issue is that your shower is going to put a hit to your registries, and guests may not have enough choice for your shower. Some people don't want to give cash, so if you registry empties out early, people will buy you things they like, which as we all know, can be unwelcome. I'd say leave your registry for now, but keep thinking of some things you can put to good use in case it empties. A registry that empties early can make people think you just want cash, which is rude.

eviltwin13 · April 2011

I don't think it's rude to register for only what you truly want and need. When did it become the couple's obligation to request so many gifts? I thought etiquette only required that the couple be appropriately gracious for every gift received and write a nice thank you note.

flydi379 · April 2011

Im not too worried about the # of items on our registry. I only put stuff that i need/want.
People can always just bring cash
Also you have the option of adding gift cards (at least i know you can at BB&B)
You can save those for later,when you decide you need a new rug or armchair or somet thing like that!

Hope this helps!

karmellah · April 2011

i kind of did 1 gift per household. We're inviting 125 about 75 households and we have 146 on our registry. i dont expect to get anywhere near that. ive been buying something off of it every once and awhile anyway lol. i think of it of more of a wish list

blegare · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_enough?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:de307b67-080c-460e-8de5-a42bec77044fPost:4d033828-a1fc-4afa-99a1-ce2e897f1c09">Re: Enough?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm in the minority, but that's since you said you have a shower with 50+ guests. If you are worried about too much "stuff," you should have declined or minimized the size of your shower. I had 40 invited to my shower, and due to few declines, I got 40 gifts that took up about 40 items on my registry (some gave gift cards or things I didn't register for, and some had mult. registered items). The issue is that your shower is going to put a hit to your registries, and guests may not have enough choice for your shower. Some people don't want to give cash, so if you registry empties out early, people will buy you things they like, which as we all know, can be unwelcome. I'd say leave your registry for now, but keep thinking of some things you can put to good use in case it empties. A registry that empties early can make people think you just want cash, which is rude.
Posted by stitchingchica[/QUOTE]

I did decline the shower originally. Showers aren't really my "thing," as being the center of attention and having people "shower" me makes me a little uncomfortable. But it is important to my FMIL, and I thought it would seem bratty to make a big deal about not wanting someone to do something nice for me. I don't want to be ungrateful. So once the decision was made to have the shower, the guest list for it grew as there are a lot of "groups" and I can't invite only one or two people from each of those groups. (Both my family and FI's family subscribe to an "if you invite one, you have to invite them all" mentalility.) I hope that makes sense.

At any rate, I plan to keep an eye on the registry and make sure options remain open for people. I don't *think* this will be a problem, but I guess you never know. Thanks for all the help you guys!

futuremrseagle · April 2011

you should definitely keep an eye on it...you don't want your guests to be left with just random assortments of towels and spatulas!

I do think you should at least have 1-1.5 gift options per household..I feel like your current list isn't giving many options to your guests, and if someone for your shower decides to buy 10 things off the list, you're screwed... a lot of guests like picking out actual presents, for showers especially, and if there isn't anything on your registry that they would feel good giving you, you could end up with random toasters and blenders that you never wanted.

the 2 gifts per guest rule is so your guests have options. and it's potentially one gift for the shower, and one for the wedding, per guest. the registry industry is only there to help YOU get things you'll actually USE.

lindsay5432 · April 2011

Just register for things you need/want. It's ridiculous to register just so you have the right number of gifts for people to give. We registered mostly just for some big-ticket type items, because those are what we need, along with a few small kitchen things. There's nothing worse than having a bunch of "stuff" you don't really want/need, that you will never use. It will just clutter up your house!

kalizoomba · April 2011

I think the 2 gifts per guest is only for smaller items - like a single wisk - most people will buy you more than just a wisk or a towel. They'll buy an entire set of towels, or a wisk, with a mixing bowl, and a cake pan so you can bake a cake.

I think you have enough. If your registry gets emptied out, you can add more things, or if you leave it blank, you might get money from those people instead!

kgorman307 · April 2011

I think you have enough. I have a friend getting married this month who must have followed the "2 gifts per giver" rule because she has SO MUCH stuff on her registry.

On the negative side, her wedding is 2 weeks away and she is receiving 10 place settings of china, no serving plates/bowls, 1 set of 20 for flatware when she requested 3 sets, all the plates and coffee cups from their casual dinnerware but no bowls, oh and she'll have more cake and cupcake pans than your local bakery.

Register for what you need. Don't register for what you don't need (she had THREE gravy bowls on her registry. What would you even do with three gravy bowls??)

vegprincess · April 2011

BB&B actually just told me two weeks or so ago to have 3 gifts per person on my registry! Insane, right? There's no sense putting in extra stuff that you don't need just because of the rules. At the same time, your guests may come asking you (or someone close to you) what they can get you if your registry items have all been fulfilled... You may want to think about some alternative options...

- Have your MOH or mom or someone (when people ask) spread the word that you want money for something substantial... a down payment on a house or car or something
- A honeymoon registry
- A more unconventional registry - best buy, target or amazon where you can get other things like a flat screen tv, board games, new computer, cookbooks or planters for the garden
- Again, have someone close to you spread the word that you'd love people to donate to a charity of their (or your choice) - is there something that is really important to you?

Enough?

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