FMIL.... (vent)

Re: FMIL.... (vent)

• AshJohnson30 member

  

  July 2012

  I'm going through this. My only advice is make sure you and FI are on the same page with everything and try not to let it stress you out. And maybe FI should cut back on talking with his mom about things? I hope things get better!

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• vickel08 member

  

  July 2012

  Why do guys automatically jump to "we should have eloped" when they get frustrated with wedding stuff!!??!! That is frustrating. I'm at a point where I'm saying it is what it is. Play the song you want and she can dance or not dance but the end result will be the same, you two will be married.

  

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• FutureMrsR5711

  

  July 2012

  You could do what I'm doing. No parent / child dances. And not involving my FMIL in the planning at all. She is not helping pay for anything. And it chaffes her butt that we don't ask her opinion. But FI and I have worked VERY hard to pay for our day. And to be clear, my family is not contributing either and i do not really include them in the planning either.
  
  Are we all going to grow old and become EVIL FMIL's? UGH! I hope not!

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• cronin85

  

  July 2012 edited July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_fmil-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:ba6701b2-325b-4cec-ade8-6089d9180c4dPost:7ef67c51-7811-4d68-bdc0-ddfc0bb42128">Re: FMIL.... (vent)</a>:
  [QUOTE]You could do what I'm doing. No parent / child dances. And not involving my FMIL in the planning at all. She is not helping pay for anything. And it chaffes her butt that we don't ask her opinion. But FI and I have worked VERY hard to pay for our day. And to be clear, my family is not contributing either and i do not really include them in the planning either. <strong>Are we all going to grow old and become EVIL FMIL's?</strong> UGH! I hope not!
  Posted by FutureMrsR5711[/QUOTE]
  
  
  Oh I hope not haha!  The thought of that happening is scary! 
  
  Without boring everyone, the only reason we are having a big wedding to begin with is because FMIL was pushing it and promised to help pay for the church, rehearsal dinner etc; (we knew we couldnt afford all that ourselves).  Well my parents are now paying for the entire reception hall and we are picking up the rest of the bill... FMIL is not helping at all.  She has the most opinions on everything yet no help.  I'm just getting really overwhelmed.
  I know our day will be great but I still wish we went with our first instincts and went away to get married <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-embarassed.gif" border="0" alt="Embarassed" title="Embarassed" />

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• jjswin member

  

  July 2012

  I do have to say i'm pretty lucky my FMIL pretty much stays out of the wedding details, just asks questions every once and a while. She is however bringing a person we did not invite on purpose as her date (My FI's alcoholic female cousin), so I guess I have drama too. But I have learned that you can't worry about the small stuff, just let it all play out. Everything happens for a reason.

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• futuremrscsr member

  

  July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_fmil-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:ba6701b2-325b-4cec-ade8-6089d9180c4dPost:831222d0-db0c-42d3-b4f2-99e7c2c46406">Re: FMIL.... (vent)</a>:
  [QUOTE]<strong>Why do guys automatically jump to "we should have eloped" when they get frustrated with wedding stuff!!??!!</strong> That is frustrating. I'm at a point where I'm saying it is what it is. Play the song you want and she can dance or not dance but the end result will be the same, you two will be married.
  Posted by vickel08[/QUOTE]
  
  Haha, my FI does that all the time! We got engaged in Spain so everytime I get frustrated with wedding stuff he says, "I told you we should have gone back to Spain to get married!"

  

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• CowgirlK39 member

  

  July 2012

  Ugh yeah those are two very different songs, lyrically. Not to mention the George Strait songs says 'In all the world, you'll never find a love as true as mine." A bit insulting to you, IMO. That's really not a good M/S song. I LOVE the Reba choice. Maybe this should be a smile and nod and say "Ok mom we will think about it" amd then do what you want..... or will she get mad?

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• cronin85

  

  July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_fmil-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:ba6701b2-325b-4cec-ade8-6089d9180c4dPost:414f0061-4759-4684-937b-c84ff97cbf3a">Re: FMIL.... (vent)</a>:
  [QUOTE]Ugh yeah those are two very different songs, lyrically. Not to mention the George Strait songs say<strong>s 'In all the world, you'll never find a love as true as mine</strong>." A bit insulting to you, IMO. That's really not a good M/S song. I LOVE the Reba choice. Maybe this should be a smile and nod and say "Ok mom we will think about it" amd then do what you want..... or will she get mad?
  Posted by CowgirlK39[/QUOTE]<div>
  <div>I agree 100% ... I was VERY insulted.  And she would be pissed.  My FI said fine just to shut her up but I think I am going to try to find a way to tell him we should go with his original pick without having it start an argument between us
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• Callmefia

  

  July 2012

  Honestly, I think you are making a bigger deal out of this than necessary. Doesn't she get a say in the song too? Maybe they should choose something else together.
  
  I've asked FI to pick a song for him and his mom a few times and each time he says "I'll leave it up to my mom" I'm pretty much OK with that because then its not my problem.
  
  My dad and I will choose a song together. 
  
  The mother/son dance doesn't have to be to a mother/son specific song either. Its just a song. NBD.
  
  
  

  

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• jlmonpe member

  

  July 2012

  omg. i think we share a MIL

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• cronin85

  

  July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_fmil-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:ba6701b2-325b-4cec-ade8-6089d9180c4dPost:13042a64-3020-4c7d-9f49-23a267028472">Re: FMIL.... (vent)</a>:
  [QUOTE]Honestly, I think you are making a bigger deal out of this than necessary. Doesn't she get a say in the song too? Maybe they should choose something else together. I've asked FI to pick a song for him and his mom a few times and each time he says "I'll leave it up to my mom" I'm pretty much OK with that because then its not my problem. My dad and I will choose a song together.  The mother/son dance doesn't have to be to a mother/son specific song either. Its just a song. NBD.
  Posted by Callmefia[/QUOTE]
  
  
  I dont think it has to be a song that specifically talks about a mother and son, but I do think the lyrics should be meaningful.  I'm not sure if you listened to the song by George Strait but it cleary talks about a love between a man and a women (husband and wife) not the kind of love between a mother and a son. And no, in my opinion the songs should be chosen by the bride and groom, I feel the song is a way to show your mom/dad how you feel about them; and obviously its not in a romantic way.
  
  But all in all the situation has been resolved.  FI chose a completely different song and explained to his mother that this is our wedding (and she's already had waaaaay too much say in it) so this is the one thing he really wanted to do. :)

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