Younger-than-average response/vent.

christinelyn0131 · September 2010

It feels super crappy when other knotties post that theyre "so glad they waited" as if I should, too.

I'm usually on chit chat, but I lurk here, too. Just because I feel so reason to sleep around, test the waters, etc. doesn't mean that I'm too young. Only I can decide when I'm ready to get married, and you know what? I'm ready.

It just drives me insane that other knotties who are older practically pressure younger brides into waiting.

blynng · September 2010

I dont think it is that they all think you should be sleeping around or that you havent found the right person. But there is a lot of things that can be stressful during a marriage, take money for on instance, have you talked with your FI about whether you will both have to work? Have you finished school? if not where will you live while your going to school? How will you pay for everything? Unfortunately these are things my FI and I have been talking about a lot lately and have actually made the decision to wait two years for me to finish school. This site is about being able to state opinions openly. You should not feel pressured into anything, people are just stating their own opnions. I doubt anyone one here actually knows you and your situation. I'm only 21, I havent found one person here yet who has tried to pressure me or who has been judgemental.

christinelyn0131 · September 2010

FI and I have already discussed all those things. He works full time already and I work part time. I'll have graduated by the time we get married. We'll get an apartment. Everything is planned out. It's not like we're winging it.

The thing is, I graduated HS at 16 and I'll graduate with my bachelors at 19. I've always been ahead of the game. FI is older than me.

I just feel like a lot of knotties think young=stupid. But that's just me.

LauraT25 · September 2010

I obviously don't know you well enough to have an opinion on whether you should wait, but I'm somewhat offended by the wording of your post. I waited, and it wasn't because I wanted time to sleep around. FI and I have been together a long time, and we figured that there was no harm in waiting since we'd still be together in a few years. I'm not saying that you should feel the same way, but maybe you should think before you post something like that.

bethsmiles · September 2010

I don't think they think young=stupid, I think that they think that young=inexperienced. But you are right only you can decide when you are ready to get married. When posting on internet forums its important to keep things in perspective, everyone will have an opinion/advice but they don't know you and in the end they are usually just trying to give you some good advice. Personally I've never had anyone comment on my age, which is 20, so if other knotties are commenting on your age it makes me think you have said something in a post that made them give you the side-eye. Either way its just the internet.

christinelyn0131 · September 2010

I apologize, and I feel I should clarify.

I posted this after being irritated by responses to another knottie's post. I've never personally felt offended about my age, it has generally been from a far.

I also acknowledge that I wrote this is frustration, with a lot going through my mind that probably was not related. I'm very sorry if I offended you. I would like to say that FI and I are waiting as well. I suppose "wait" wasn't the right word. I agree with Laura in the fact that my fiance will still be there 2 years from now when we do get married, so there's no reason to rush.

To clarify, I was once told by a "friend" that I shouldn't be getting married so young because I won't ever be able to sleep around and "test the waters." FYI, that friendship wasn't friendly for long.

I'd also like to reiterate that I've never been personally offended by a knottie. I have some awesome girls on Chit Chat who are great to me and know that I'm younger than most.

I'm very sorry if I offended you girls. I know how disconcerting it is to be upset by another board member's post.

LauraT25 · September 2010

I probably shouldn't have said I was offended (because really, it's a post on the internet, I'm not offended) so much as that it was a somewhat offensive thing to say, KWIM? I think that on both sides of the argument, people need to keep their mouths shut and leave each other alone, because no one but the bride and groom know if they're ready - and even if they're not, nay-sayers aren't going to make them see the light.

You seem like a nice person, I hope you stick around

christinelyn0131 · September 2010

Thanks Laura

I just might hang around sometimes.

raw1299 · September 2010

kristine, im on the same boat as you too. i started college at 15 (took night classes at the local college) and i'll be graduating in the spring when ill be 21, my hs graduating class was 2008 so i should be graduating in 2012.

boyfriend is also older than me, hes 31. I have been with him for 4 years, and are both ready to start planning our wedding and life together. Yes we are young, but i'm sure were probably both a bit more mature than other people our age. i want to settle down with the one i love. im not into the whole partying scene like most college students. hes my soulmate, and i will never regret that. weve talked about having our wedding late september, early october of 2011, i'll be 21 and he'll be 32.

deburnin · September 2010

What I'm curious about is why people assume that waiting means sleeping around and partying it up? I've been with my BF since high school. He's my first and only BF. I'm not a partier. I didn't drink till I was 21 and hated the college party scene, I have only had sex with BF, and have never felt the need to "shop around" for a guy. Waiting to get married, I believe, is a smart move on our part (we're both only 23). By the time an engagement rolls around we'll be settled in the house we're buying and we'll both have full-time jobs (I'm currently in grad school).

brit_bell90 · September 2010

I kind of get what you're saying. I go to a community college, and everyone there lives with their parents and they don't know how to do anything for themselves. It's weird saying "I'm getting married next June" or "I'm buying a house with my fiance" because at my college it was a surprise to most that I even lived in my own apartment. I guess it just depends on the circumstances. I feel silly talking about my personal life at school when everyone else is partying every night and sneaking back into their parents house in the morning. It's probably just because my college feels like High School, but going there is saving me a ton of tuition for my first 2 years of college. It all works out in the end though.

heyimbren · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_younger-average-responsevent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:a47b9fd9-2d1f-4014-a789-162cd3be9951Post:36fe41a2-ed52-45f9-941c-06b5b8dd0452">Re: Younger-than-average response/vent.</a>:
[QUOTE]What I'm curious about is why people assume that waiting means sleeping around and partying it up? I've been with my BF since high school. He's my first and only BF. I'm not a partier. I didn't drink till I was 21 and hated the college party scene, I have only had sex with BF, and have never felt the need to "shop around" for a guy. Waiting to get married, I believe, is a smart move on our part (we're both only 23). By the time an engagement rolls around we'll be settled in the house we're buying and we'll both have full-time jobs (I'm currently in grad school).
Posted by deburnin[/QUOTE]

Exactly, Deb. I'm with you (surprise, surprise haha).

megjm.614 · September 2010

I don't think she was saying that every person who waited to get married was just sleeping around and partying the whole time. I get the impression that in the moment she was frustrated (as I sometimes get too, I'm 21) about everyone thinking she is too young. And in her defense she warned in the post title that this was a vent... suggesting that she was upset at the time of the post. Who hasn't said something in a heated moment when maybe they should have held their tongue? And maybe I took it the wrong way but it seems like pp is kind of doing the same thing by assuming that a younger couple doesn't have their lives together before getting married...

Younger-than-average response/vent.

Re: Younger-than-average response/vent.

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