Wedding invitation etiquette - help please!

SunshinyLees · September 2011

Hi ladies,

We sent out a Save the date email back in June for our Feb 2012 Maui wedding, Some people have responded that they are coming, others that they aren't and some are stll undecided and others we haven't heard back from. Is it rude or gift grabbing to now send invitations to those that have said they definitely are not coming or do we send to everyone? We are on the fence with this because were not sure what the protocal is. What do you all suggest?
Thanks;)

Tanq&Tonic · September 2011

I would still send them an invitation. For the 2 people that told us they definitely couldn't make it, I included a handwritten note with the invitation that said "I know it's unlikely you will be able to attend, but if circumstances change, we would still love to have you join us."

That way you acknowledge that you know they cannot come, but still invite them (which you should definitely do for everyone that received an STD). It's also not gift grabby since the invitations inherently don't mention ANYTHING about gifts or registries.

And really, you just never know. We had a couple surprises where people made it work in the end!

breaness · September 2011

Ditto what Tanq said.

Whether you want them to come or not, or whether you *think* they'll come or not, doesn't matter. They got a save the date, they need an invite. Even in the case of family drama (which we are dealing with) you still need to invite them. No one in our family is on speaking terms with my grandfather, but he's still coming. I just need to figure out how to be creative with seating so no one gets a black eye.

iallrd8itWed196457 · September 2011

In my opinion everyone who receieves a save the date should receive a proper invitation.

kimmykupcakes · September 2011

Tnag's got it covered. Do send them an invitation!

dianalynm · September 2011

I agree with what everyone said. In magazines, I also read the same thing. If they got a save-the-date, they should be getting an invitation, regardless.

I also like the personalized touch that Tanq said to include with the invite...acknowledging that they said they may not come, but that they are still welcome to join in the festivities if their plans change." Nice touch!

maui2011 · September 2011

Yep...you must send them an invitation as they received a STD...i did not want to either to save money as i knew less than 25% of the people we invited would actually go...then i was thinking of sending them the invite itself without the pocketfold and inserts to save money...then decided just to send everyone the same invitation. HTH! J. :-)

AKWinterBride · September 2011

We still sent invitations to the folks who replied that they couldn't come. Our guests would have been offended if I hadn't, and we had gorgeous invites, so I was proud to share them!

SunshinyLees · September 2011

Thanks everyone for your advice;)
We just didn't want our friends and family to feel ike we were putting pressure on them or gift grabbing by sending them an invitation after they had responded saying they would not be attending. But after all your feedback we have decided to send everyone an invitation;)
Tanq, your idea of including a personal note is just perfect!
Thanks again everyone,
Lees

Wedding invitation etiquette - help please!

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