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Catholic Weddings

Family involvement in mass

We don't do pre-cana until 2 months before the wedding. Silly. Priest doesn't want to talk to us until then. We have our date set but nothing formal until then.

Still early; but, I'd like to get an idea of how many and in what ways our families would be involved in mass. I don't plan on asking them until way way later. 

Readers- typically 3?

Gift bearers- is 4 too many? We'd like to have each set of godparents. At 
Sunday mass usually a whole family--kids and all go up. 

Eucharistic ministers- I'm hoping my church will let us have my aunt/uncle who are EM at their own parishes help out. We are expecting at least 200 people assuming they have manners and don't skip out. 

Unity Candle- usually the moms--although, we aren't sure if we are going to do it. We most-likely will not. 

Anything I'm missing? 
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Re: Family involvement in mass

  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Talk with the choir/music director for your church.  He/she might be able to answer some of your specific questions or ask the priest for you.  If you're not meeting with the priest until 2 months from your wedding, you'll need some of the above information so you can ask your family/friends to be readers, etc.


  • Theresa626Theresa626 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    There are only two readers.  The priest always reads the Gospel.  As for gift bearers, there are only two things to bring up so two people would not have something to do.   When it's a family of four, it's not a big deal because they are a family so it's ok if some are just walking.  If you have one person from each couple carrying something, it should be ok with four people.  Ask the church if they provide EM's.  Mine does.  
  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    There's another person to read the intercessions
  • edited December 2011
    You could have up to 4 readers.  2 readings, responsorial psalm (if you aren't having it sung), and general intercessions.

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  • Nickie431Nickie431 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Catholic weddings with which I'm familiar don't include a unity candle.  That's more of a recent tradition rather than part of the prescribed liturgy your priest will follow.  Make sure to ask him about that.  If you'd like to light one, you could feature it at your reception.

    You may also need at least one altar server.  Depending on your parish, should you have a niece/nephew/cousin who has been trained as such in their own parish, your priest may be willing to have him or her assist rather than using a youth from your parish.

    Blessings!
    "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!" (Isaiah 43:1)
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Family involvement in mass:
    [QUOTE]Catholic weddings with which I'm familiar don't include a unity candle.  That's more of a recent tradition rather than part of the prescribed liturgy your priest will follow.  Make sure to ask him about that.  If you'd like to light one, you could feature it at your reception. You may also need at least one altar server.  Depending on your parish, should you have a niece/nephew/cousin who has been trained as such in their own parish, your priest may be willing to have him or her assist rather than using a youth from your parish. Blessings!
    Posted by Nickie431[/QUOTE]
    Yup! This is the main reason we probably won't have a unity candle. I know my church allows. Nice symbolism but if you paid attention the ceremony and sacrament demonstrates the same thing. 
    Our youngest cousins are 17...some family have been alter servers in the past but they are well beyond that age---they are in their 20's, 30's now. No nieces, nephews. No ring bearers or flower girls. 
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Family involvement in mass:
    [QUOTE]There are only two readers.  The priest always reads the Gospel.  As for gift bearers, there are only two things to bring up so two people would not have something to do.   When it's a family of four, it's not a big deal because they are a family so it's ok if some are just walking.  If you have one person from each couple carrying something, it should be ok with four people.  Ask the church if they provide EM's.  Mine does.  
    Posted by Theresa626[/QUOTE]


    Thanks! I was planning on having a first reading, second reading, and then the intercessions read by family. I'm hoping they'd be ok with 4....each set of godparents!
    I know my church would provide EM but I have an aunt and an uncle who our EM at every sunday mass at their own parish. I would love it; if it's allowed.  
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    you dont have to be young to serve mass.  often times at the 8am mass at our church, an older man serves mass for father.
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