Honeymoon Registry

juschansage · July 2010

Has anyone used an online or other type of honeymoon registry? Please suggest a good one and tell me what your experience has been with one. We prefer one that doesn't require a deposit or a location choice upfront. Happy wedding planning!

strlzfan11 · July 2010

You'll find that a lot of people on the boards are not fans of honeymoon registries for various reasons, but the big one being because it's a sneaky way of asking people for cash. A lot of honeymoon registries charge your guests an upfront fee (usually 7-8%) so if your guest donates $100, you would actually only get $92/93. Honeymoon registries generally also do not book your tours, meals, accommodations for you. They just cut you a check. If you set up a registry through your travel agent, though, this may not be true as they may book your stuff for you. Honey Fund does not charge a fee.

I'm not trying to be mean, but many people find this to be tacky because it implies that you're asking people to pay for a vacation you cannot afford. Are you planning on taking your honeymoon right away? Most honeymoon registries will only cut one check (maybe two) and it won't get cut usually until either a few days before or a few days after your wedding.

You know your guests better than we do, though. It might be easier to just tell your guests via word of mouth that you're saving up for a honeymoon.

AmoroAgain · July 2010

Holy crap. Did you not read any of the three posts about this on the same page?

MNVegas · July 2010

This questions gets asked a lot on this board and is a very touchy subject. There are numerous posts below and on subsequent pages on this board that you can read.

Personally, I am not a fan of HM registries for the reasons given above. They are deceitful to your guests and you do not get the full amount gifted. Asking for money is never approrpriate even when you try to disguise it as a HM registry.

Suggest doing a small registry of upgrades for people who want to to give boxed gift. Others will give cash gifts without having to be asked for it You could also spread via word of mouth thru wedding party or parents that you are registered at store A but also saving for a HM. People will get the hint.

juschansage · July 2010

Geez! Thanks for the info but ...my GOD...didn't know this was such a touchy subject. I personally thought this was an ingenious idea for people mine and my fiance's age who already possess everything we need. In my humble opinion, asking for any kind of gift is the equivalent to asking for cash?!?!? The people coming to our wedding are the people we love and vice versa. I did intend to register for gifts as well, for people to prefer to give a gift. These are people who've been in our lives for most of our lives and if they suddenly find us "tacky" for this...well, that's just sad! I've had friends in the past who registered for their honeymoon and I didn't find it at all tacky. If I'm giving a gift, why shouldn't it be something they truly want and will use? To me, it's a gift of love. If they give no gift, it doesn't change how I feel about them. It is truly my hope that our loved ones feel the same.

MarinoRabeno · July 2010

Amen!

I agree with you jus. There's a lot of strong opinions around here. Just do what you're comfortable with. Some people have had great turnouts with their honeymoon registries.

cmcdonno · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-20?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:8d437ca4-e407-4260-8491-31013896c035Post:06ab6743-cbd2-47c3-95ad-c9578238323c">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Amen! I agree with you jus. There's a lot of strong opinions around here. Just do what you're comfortable with.</strong> Some people have had great turnouts with their honeymoon registries.
Posted by MarinoRabeno[/QUOTE]

Ditto that! It all depends on you and how you think your friends and family will receive it. Personally, I find it more tacky when a bride and groom ask for a toilet bowl brush, but that's just me. :)

Be sure to investigate whoever you plan to register with. Like the PP said, some charge your guests 6-7%, which I find irritating, but everyone is nickeled and dimed nowadays.

AmoroAgain · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-20?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:8d437ca4-e407-4260-8491-31013896c035Post:598b605d-5f0b-4630-aab4-c0f30dfe00c5">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry : Ditto that! It all depends on you and how you think your friends and family will receive it. Personally, I find it more tacky when a bride and groom ask for a toilet bowl brush, but that's just me. :) Be sure to investigate whoever you plan to register with. <strong>Like the PP said, some charge your guests 6-7%, which I find irritating, but everyone is nickeled and dimed nowadays. </strong>
Posted by cmcdonno[/QUOTE]

Which means we should definitely continue to propagate it. Good call.

ehighley · July 2010

I personally find nothing tacky about honeymoon registries and intend to create one for our wedding through our travel agency. We're doing a honeymoon registry AND a traditional store registry. People will have the option to choose to get us whichever type of gift they prefer, or just give us cash, or whatever! It seems a bit judgemental to assume that only a certain type of person would want to do a honeymoon registry. I think asking for a bunch of expenisve gifts from a store registry is no less "tacky" than asking for a very memorable honeymoon experience, such as scuba diving, horseback riding, etc. But...to each their own

cmcdonno · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-20?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:8d437ca4-e407-4260-8491-31013896c035Post:07041ecc-7020-4fd2-94df-2e0b396c2552">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry : Which means we should definitely continue to propagate it. Good call.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

Well, perhaps you should start an anti-wedding registry website, so you can propagate your POV. Also, there is a thing called tact. Maybe you should look it up.

AmoroAgain · July 2010

Oh no, I don't have that at all.

golden1215 · July 2010

amoro- random ? but did u mean for your screen name to mean "sex again"?

lililuvsrocky · July 2010

www.honeyfund.com

completely free!

reese511 · July 2010

yes...the honeyfund! i'm all for it. i totally agree w/ cmcdonno!
Amoro...we all know you're against HM registries. why not just stop opening the post when you see those words?? or do you just like spreading your negativity?

do you honestly think someone will actually think to themself:
"well, Amoroagain is against HM registries...so i won't do one...."

a;lskdjfalskdfjalsdfkja;sldfkj. get over it.

andy71781 · July 2010

Amoro isn't the only one against HM registries. Do you think OP only wanted to hear from those who like HM registries? I don't.

nda_roxybabe · July 2010

Honeymoon registeries? Blech. Tacky to the tenth

reese511 · July 2010

OP asked for recommendations...not opinions of those who are against them.

nda_roxybabe · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-20?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:8d437ca4-e407-4260-8491-31013896c035Post:1a830aed-ed48-47fb-ba95-dc44327774d5">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]OP asked for recommendations...not opinions of those who are against them.
Posted by reese511[/QUOTE]

Well my recommendation is not to do one.

She did also ask for experiences with them. In my experience, they're tacky.

Chasity08 · July 2010

As others have said, you're the only one who knows your guests. If you and your guests find it acceptable and you want to do it, then do it. Heck, even if you think some of your guests wont find it acceptable and you want to do it, then DO IT. There's always going to be SOMETHING that is going to "step on someone's toes" when it comes to your wedding, and it really doesn't matter. It's your day. If someone finds it tacky then they'll either a) get you a gift off your regular store registry or b) not get you a gift at all. Either way is fine with me personally. But I know that my friends and family will be super excited to be apart of my honeymoon and help send me and fi on awesome adventures while we're in europe. I'm excited for my honeymoon registry and that's all that matters. It's your day, do what you want. Good luck! =]

AmoroAgain · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-20?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:8d437ca4-e407-4260-8491-31013896c035Post:bb74fcf1-3ef1-418d-b6ae-3b2bfecd4d9f">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]amoro- random ? but did u mean for your screen name to mean "sex again"?
Posted by golden1215[/QUOTE]
No, it was originally amorosamente which is Italian for "lovingly" Then you know, um, some stuff happened. Heh.

Yes, I'm against them, but because I'm against them, that means I shouldn't post a response to people asking about them? I give a perspective that is BOUND to be shared by at least someone out there. Or, are we all supposed to conform to the new bridezilla slogan of IT'S YOUR DAY DO WHAT YOU WANT while breathing fire and demanding that all of our BM's be fembots who look exactly the same, or that you should go into massive debt for your wedding OR honeymoon.

If we all start thinking, "Hey! It's awesome to beg for money from people." by the time our kids grow up, it's going to be a pain in the ass. I think wedding hazes are easy to get into, where all you see is your money getting drained away for a party, and think it's perfectly okay for your guests to shed some into it.

Now, do I think it's okay if culturally, your group or family gives money? Sure. Why? Because that is what is *expected* and not *demanded* Therein lies the big difference.

People say, "Oh, what's the big deal, it's the same as asking for gifts." But it's not. Registries were invented to help a young couple get a good start in life. Much in the same way that the women of a household would work for months on an engaged woman's trousseau- so that she would go into the marriage with new gowns, bed linens, etc. As times changed, and people stopped sewing, and the availability of manufactured goods became higher, registries were done so that young couples could start off in life with items that became heirlooms and part of family traditions.

This brings us to the argument that I've already stated-- times have changed. People these days get married older, after they have been established. Good for us all! But when you bought your sheets, did you get some that were a nice, high quality? Or how about that KitchenAid stand mixer that you've wanted, but just couldn't afford? What about a beautiful set of china or high quality knives or pots and pans that will literally last you a lifetime? Are we so focused only on the here and now, and such a souless, cash society that all we think we need is money? There ARE more important things. And while times have changed, and lifestyle has changed, please forgive me if I feel that one old tradition- that of asking for money is tacky-- should never be forgotten.

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