Note about Communion

bibliophile2010 · June 2011

My fi and I met with our priest tonight to go over wedding stuff (yay! that means it is getting close), and, of course, one of the things we discussed was non-Catholics. Although he will do cues on what to do (sit/stand/etc) and make a comment about reception of communion just before, he encouraged us to include something in our programs as well.

I know it has been asked a million times, but my go-to advice (talk to your priest, see what he recommends), has led me back to figuring how how to say it nicely in a program (note that there will not be missals or books available at the parish). What do you ladies think? What did you do?

agapecarrie · June 2011

Well, you can copy from usccb, or edit

http://www.usccb.org/liturgy/q&a/mass/communion.shtml

or something like:

Because Catholics believe the Eucharist is not only the Body and Blood of Christ, but a sign of oneness of faith, members of churches not fully united with the Catholic church are instead encouraged to pray for unity with the Lord and each other. (and if the priest allows them for a blessing, give instruction here...make sure to discuss this with priest)

Calypso1977 · June 2011

normally, i am against putting in the program as i feel its the priest's place to address this. however, in your case the priest is addressing it AND has asked for you to put something in the program. therefore, i think what Agape suggested is good. i would ask him about the blessing - most do allow it.

doctabroccoli · June 2011

Yeah, our priest just said it verbally, but if he's really pushing for you to put it in the program, I agree what Agape suggested is good.

bibliophile2010 · June 2011

Thanks ladies. I think I'll work with Agape's suggestion. The teacher in me likes that it is stated as a positive (this is what you can do), not a negative (you can't receive!).

Like I say, I was just going to ask him to say something, but FI brought up the program (or pamphlet as he keeps referring to it) thing and the priest ran with it.

In 24 hours, when music is finalized, I will be officially stressing about programs. Gah!! I have it outlined, but final tweaks may just kill me.

doctabroccoli · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_communion-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:b346a187-bd51-4489-9d4a-f1407d1fd575Post:375451e8-e225-49ee-85e6-898532362456">Re: Note about Communion</a>:
[QUOTE]In 24 hours, when music is finalized, I will be officially stressing about programs. Gah!! I have it outlined, but final tweaks may just kill me.
Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

Lol, my mom was so all up in my grill about the programs. She kept reminding me that she wanted to see what they said before I printed them. I just kept thinking "Geez, woman, I'm 27 years old and have been Catholic my entire life. I'm pretty sure I can make my own wedding programs."

bibliophile2010 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_communion-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:b346a187-bd51-4489-9d4a-f1407d1fd575Post:f8b06b45-d7d2-4c5c-b63a-282ea69c1dd9">Re: Note about Communion</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Note about Communion : Lol, my mom was so all up in my grill about the programs. She kept reminding me that she wanted to see what they said before I printed them. I just kept thinking "Geez, woman, I'm 27 years old and have been Catholic my entire life. I'm pretty sure I can make my own wedding programs."
Posted by doctabroccoli[/QUOTE]

Thank goodness I'm the one who cares the most about programs. I asked Father about them last night, and he (as an ordered priest) only cared about having his "initials" (his order denotation) included (besides the communion thing). Mostly I think he trusts me, knowing my faith and my writing skills, 'cause he said the same thing about our Prayers of the Faithful.

I see them as something I can get taken care of soon, so I'm focusing on it. That way, it will be off my plate. Plus, it is something that matters to me (not anyone else, really), so that makes it worth my while, ya know?!?

ootmother2 · June 2011

The priest said something at the time for communion that all believers in the Body and Blood of Christ should go up for communion.

I remember this because I thought it a bit vague. There were Episcopalians in attendance who could qualify there, I guess

That day was pretty much a whirl so I really didn't notice who received and who didn't.

I do know that one of my nieces who is Presbyterian, actually went to communion at my grandmother's funeral. Guess that made it her first communion

She was perhaps 8 or so. The world didn't end and she did wind up marrying Catholic.

jazzybacc · June 2011

There are plenty of templates for programs if you do a search online for them. I've found them helpful. What I think would be appropriate for addressing communion is to put a note in the program saying something along the lines of: "The couple invites fellow Catholics to join in the Eucharist."

chelseamb11 · June 2011

This is a HUUUUUGE point of contention for us right now. I was baptized Catholic, became Lutheran in middle school (when my parents switched churches) and have recently re-converted back to Catholic as my FI and his entire family is Catholic. There are plenty of things I don't agree with for Catholicism, especially when it comes to communion. I consider myself an extremely Christian person, but it just does not sit right with me that in order to get communion in a Catholic church, you need to be Catholic. To me, Jesus would not turn ANYONE away from his table. That being said, I understand the rule. However I have a lot of Christian (but not Catholic) friends and family that will be literally INSULTED if Father or anyone else tells them they cannot go up to communion. I agree with them (everyone should get it if they believe). I don't want to offend Father, but I also do not want him to make the announcement. He's very conservative, so I'm not sure how to approach it (if I do). We just went to a Catholic wedding this past weekend where no announcement was made and everything went JUUUUST fine.
OK rant over. Any input would be appreciated!

monkeysip · June 2011

Chelsea,

Catholicism prohibits non-Catholics and those who are Catholic but temporarily outside of communion (because of mortal sin) from receiving the eucharist not because they're trying to be exclusive, but because they're trying to protect the person receiving.

St. Paul says we're supposed to discern the body and blood before we receive. If we receive unworthily, we're condemning ourselves (1 Cor 11).

To deny communion to people outside of the communion of the Church is an act of mercy, not judgment.

It always seemed strange to me that a non-Catholic would want to receive Catholic communion anyways, seeing as how they don't believe it's the actual body and blood (except some Episcopalians, as mentioned earlier). When I was protestant, I would not have received the eucharist. To do so would be to profess to believe in what I saw as a false doctrine at the time.

It's not Jesus turning anyone away... it is his followers that walk away from his true teaching. Many of Jesus' disciples walked away when he taught that they must eat his body and drink his blood. The teaching was too difficult for them, but the apostles trusted his words and stayed by his side (John 6).

Maybe you already knew all this. I'm just trying to shed a little more light on the issue, but I hope I'm not offending you or anything.

chelseamb11 · June 2011

No of course you aren't. I'm always open to other viewpoints of things that frustrate me because then they frustrate me less haha. I just feel like as Christians we all view communion as the body and blood of our Savior, and I want everyone to feel welcome to it if they hold that belief.

monkeysip · June 2011

Well, but you've got to admit there is a huge difference between actually believing it is the real body and blood and believing that it is a symbol of the body and blood (for most protestants) or spiritually the body and blood (which I believe is the Lutheran position, correct?).

I mean, for Catholics, the bread and wine actually transform into something else. No longer bread and wine. Most protestants don't see it that way. Furthermore, we believe it has salvific power. The eucharist actually saves us. I don't think any protestant believes that at all.

Of course, they are still our brothers and sisters in Christ and can still join us in one, united prayer.

agapecarrie · June 2011

The thing is, receiving the Eucharist is a statement of belief, not only in the true and real presence of Christ in the Eucharist (which protestants do not believe) but it is also an acceptance of the union of the one holy catholic and apostolic church. It is unity of the body of Christ, which all Christians are not united, they are divided in beliefs.

This is what we are saying when we receive the Eucharist...we believe in the whole Catholic church. the power of consecrating the Eucharist comes from the line of apostolic succession.

Catholics need to be in the state of grace to receive the Eucharist as well, which means receiving the sacrament of Reconciliation if aware of serious sin.

jazzybacc · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_communion-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:b346a187-bd51-4489-9d4a-f1407d1fd575Post:3dffcba3-e7f7-4bde-b6d4-bc207a298122">Re: Note about Communion</a>:
[QUOTE]Chelsea, Catholicism prohibits non-Catholics and those who are Catholic but temporarily outside of communion (because of mortal sin) from receiving the eucharist not because they're trying to be exclusive, but because they're trying to protect the person receiving. St. Paul says we're supposed to discern the body and blood before we receive. If we receive unworthily, we're condemning ourselves (1 Cor 11). To deny communion to people outside of the communion of the Church is an act of mercy, not judgment. It always seemed strange to me that a non-Catholic would want to receive Catholic communion anyways, seeing as how they don't believe it's the actual body and blood (except some Episcopalians, as mentioned earlier). When I was protestant, I would not have received the eucharist. To do so would be to profess to believe in what I saw as a false doctrine at the time. It's not Jesus turning anyone away... it is his followers that walk away from his true teaching. Many of Jesus' disciples walked away when he taught that they must eat his body and drink his blood. The teaching was too difficult for them, but the apostles trusted his words and stayed by his side (John 6). Maybe you already knew all this. I'm just trying to shed a little more light on the issue, but I hope I'm not offending you or anything.
Posted by monkeysip[/QUOTE]

Agree 100%, well said!

Another note: Sharing the eucharist with Non Catholics also assumes a certain unity between faiths that just doesn't exist. I guess it depends on your definition of "viewpoint," but I don't think we're talking about different viewpoints of the same subject. Catholics have a completely different belief system when it comes to the eucharist. Strictly speaking, you're not even supposed to eat or drink an hour before receiving Communion. I'm not sure if other Christians have this custom, nor that most Catholics even know about it to be honest.

You could avoid the subject all together by not having communion if it's such an insulting concept for your guests to not be allowed to disrespect the religion of the wedding they are attending. I'm sorry if that comes off sounding harsh, but people should expect different customs and "rules" when going to a ceremony of a different faith; even if <em>they </em>believe it's similar to their own, it doesn't make it the same. I would discuss it with your priest. If he's really that conservative, not mentioning it to him, IMO, is a lie of omission and not the best way to go about getting married. That being said, he cannot check everyone's religion and some will choose to take eucharist anyway and they can't be stopped, nor will he try. So as far as everything being "just fine" at the other wedding you went to, that's because no one knew non Catholics were taking eucharist. That doesn't mean there weren't Catholics who disagreed with their choice or that their soul is safe from the harm it could have caused them.

agapecarrie · June 2011

The other thing I see, especially at funerals or weddings where it is not announced is a possibility of desecration or carelessness. twice in the last month I've seen someone walk away with a host passing it between her fingers ... I told them as they passed me at the piano they have to consume it (which is better than it ending up on the floor, even if she didn't understand it).

Protestants who do not believe in the Eucharist dont' get that the host, even the smallest crumbs contain the body, blood, soul and divinity of our Lord. It must be received with reverence and care.

ootmother2 · June 2011

Interesting.

In the case of my niece, I think it's highly unlikely that an 8 year old could possibley desecrate anything, much less the host.

Calypso1977 · June 2011

You could avoid the subject all together by not having communion if it's such an insulting concept for your guests to not be allowed to disrespect the religion of the wedding they are attending. I'm sorry if that comes off sounding harsh, but people should expect different customs and "rules" when going to a ceremony of a different faith; even if they believe it's similar to their own, it doesn't make it the same.

i agree with this.

chelseamb11 · June 2011

Well thank you everyone, I appreciate the input and honestly you have all made me feel better about making the announcement in some way/shape/form. To me, communion is communion regardless of which form of Christianity. But I am getting married in a Catholic church. I have been so worried about insulting my friends/family that I didn't stop to think about insulting the very church that will bond me to my future husband in holy matrimony. That moment is way more impotant than the one time they won't be able to take communion.

bibliophile2010 · June 2011

I'm glad that you're feeling better about the announcement.

Please, though, recognize that communion is NOT communion regardless of what form of Christianity.

Only Catholics and those in communion with them transform, through the consecration, the bread and wine into the actual (not symbolic, not spiritual, not something else), but the actual body and blood of Jesus Christ. Accordingly, only Catholics (as others have described more fully above) may properly receive communion. Additionally, you really should not receive at other churches, because, again, it shows a oneness of faith that does not exist.

But really, the Eucharist is a special, unique thing that you can't get elsewhere. Please don't confuse symbolic communion with real reception of our Lord in the Eucharist.

bibliophile2010 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_communion-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:b346a187-bd51-4489-9d4a-f1407d1fd575Post:6d1449da-a7dd-41df-90a7-897b2dd65a5c">Re: Note about Communion</a>:
[QUOTE]Interesting. In the case of my niece, I think it's highly unlikely that an 8 year old could possibley desecrate anything, much less the host.
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

She said desecration was a possibility, not definite. No, your 8-year-old niece who went with the flow and consumed did not desecrate. The 40 year old Agape saw about to drop it on the floor might have.

Believe me, I'm not here to get worked up about people receiving at weddings and the like when they shouldn't. It happens. Neither my priest nor my fiance are in the least bit caught up in the possibility either. They worked in a mission setting where you learn not to get too worked up about it. We just wanted to say something to make sure we let people know the "rules." Beyond that, we can't control them, nor can we act as the communion police at the altar.

ootmother2 · June 2011

bibli

I was joking about my niece, it was too funny because no one even gave it a second thought until later that day when it occured to us that that was her First Communion.

bibliophile2010 · June 2011

OOT, fair enough. I read it as you picking on Agape, so I apologize for misreading your statements/intentions.

FWIW, my non-Catholic father (who has never had an issue, ever, with the communion situation when he has attended masses with me) consumed on Easter Sunday somewhat out of the blue. I told my FI later that I hadn't had "the talk" with him, because I had never thought it was necessary, but I would make sure to mention it to him next time we went to mass. It happens. All we can do is try to educate others. *shrugs*

ootmother2 · June 2011

ah, I see what you meant now. I used the word desecrate because that's the only word I know for it. I wasn't mimicking at all

I'm Catholic too, remember :P

chelseamb11 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_communion-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:b346a187-bd51-4489-9d4a-f1407d1fd575Post:11c87495-a5e7-42ee-a0fe-dd4f348bef39">Re: Note about Communion</a>:
[QUOTE]OOT, fair enough. I read it as you picking on Agape, so I apologize for misreading your statements/intentions. FWIW, my non-Catholic father (who has never had an issue, ever, with the communion situation when he has attended masses with me) consumed on Easter Sunday somewhat out of the blue. I told my FI later that I hadn't had "the talk" with him, because I had never thought it was necessary, but I would make sure to mention it to him next time we went to mass. It happens. All we can do is try to educate others. *shrugs*
Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

Yeahhh my dad is the one I'm scared of. To put it lightly, he can be a stubborn jack-butt. (it's where I get my stubbornness <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" /> ) even if I DO tell him that he cannot take communion at my wedding, he will go anyway because he thinks he knows everything and he's always right. But that's a whole separate issue....
The priest already knows my parents are not Catholic, so this could get interesting...

Calypso1977 · June 2011

chelsea, youve done your due diligence with yoru dad. the priest aslo knows. so, its out of your hands now, not much you can do. the priest is well within his rights to refuse to give communion to anyone who he does not feel shoudl be receiving. i doubt your father will make a scene at the altar rail. i would hope that he'd be polite/adult enough to keep his mouth shut at least until after the service.

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