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Wedding Party

bridesmaids

Do I have to make my sister in law a bridesmaid? She made me one so does that mean I have to return the favor?

Re: bridesmaids

  • Absolutely not! If your fiance wants her in the wedding she can stand on his side but you should pick those who are closest to you in life!
  • No. Weddings are not tit for tat. You pick your nearest and dearest to stand with you. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:028e097d-65b1-489d-a994-c2be9934c8a2Post:d77b2ad7-14a9-4a0d-b414-6fdbdaefbe01">Re: bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes. You must do this, or the wedding police will drag you away from the ceremony in handcuffs.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    <div>Hahaha!  You're just over it today, huh, Retread? </div>
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:028e097d-65b1-489d-a994-c2be9934c8a2Post:3504956c-e528-4590-83c2-97fb10d8ae21">Re: bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah, I'm feeling my oats.  I chased a troll back under its bridge, and restored peace and justice to the galaxy.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    May the Farce be with you!
  • This isn't a straitforward answer actually. No you aren't required to ask her, but it IS a ver diplomatic and nice gesture to make towards a future family member. I invited my FSIL into my bridal party, and it was a very good for our relationship. Though keep in mind, this all depends on personality too. If she's a crazy drama llama, to heck with the gesture, just run.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

  • I'm guessing this is your brother's wife, not your FI's sister since you said SIL and not future SIL; so the "he can have her on his side" doesn't really make sense.

    Still, the answer is no, you don't have to.  Are you guys friends?  Would you have ever even thought to include her if she hadn't had you in hers?  If you are on good terms and you wouldn't mind having her in your BP and you think she might be hurt if she's not asked then like Pele said it might be nice to just include her and avoid the drama.  By general society you are by no means obligated - doesn't mean your family won't be upset about it. 
  • thanks for all the advice!
  • My brother and his wife had me stand up as a bridesmaid in 2009 because they said they are old fashion in the aspect of having family members stand up. I did not know her, and I stood up because it was for my brother. After getting to know her, let's just say her personality did not work for me. At that time, I was in school full-time and was not working as much, I had to spend about $500 for there wedding and all they said was, when it is your turn you can do it back to us! Meaning, have my SIL stand up in my wedding. Speaking of her personality....after 7 years with my lovey, I am now getting married 3/22/14! We, fiance and I agreed to NOT have her in our wedding.
    Just because they had you stand up in theirs does not mean you have to invite them to stand up in yours....People make their own choices and if they are a true family, married into, or friend...and care about you they should be happy for you either way! Like Peledream...said, if their personality will clash with your wedding party....SAY NO!  Hmmm now this makes me think about the friend I want to and don't want to have stand up...aiyiyi :)  CONGRATS by the way!!
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