I thought the dreaded guest list was behind us, but my mom had to drag it up again this weekend. FI & I wanted a small wedding and were thinking under 100 people. My mom was very upset I wasn't inviting her 5 cousins (and spouses) and we had an argument months ago. I told her SMALL does not include these people who I NEVER see outside of other weddings/funerals. I told her all the friends & co-workers I would love to invite that are much closer than these relatives, but can't because we decided SMALL. I already made two exceptions for my mom and let her invite 2 of her cousins w/ spouses that I would not have chosen (along with 5 friends & spouses). Aunts/Uncles are all invited too.
And no, she is not footing the bill for any part of the wedding.
Well, she went to a party Friday night and saw these 5 cousins and felt it necessary to tell me what a great time she had with them, how they all want to know how I'm doing and how she felt like she couldn't tell them anything about the wedding (since they're not invited) and by the end she was in tears begging me to invite them. Seriously.
At first I felt bad, but after thinking about it I just grew mad. Our guest list has already exploded to 112 - more than we wanted. FI's parents have 2 sets of friends invited & no cousins - nowhere near what my mom has, and yet my mom still wants more. I am mad she DIDN'T talk about my wedding with them and just freakin' tell them it's SMALL, and heck, throw in an "I'm disappointed it's small, but that's what they wanted." She doesn't have to go into numbers, but just say, "IT'S SMALL." FI agrees with me and thinks my mom only got worked up since she just saw them. He asked me if she'd see them again before the wedding (hence, bringing up issues again) and I said no. Like I said, these are people even my mom only sees once or twice a year, if that.
Our ceremony venue is small and I told my mom that there are only 78 chairs in the venue (yes, we're working on getting more). My shower invites already went out weeks ago. I feel like this is ridiculous that she is still bringing this up and that it is stress I don't need. If I was having a large wedding, these people would be invited, but I AM NOT and therefore, in making a decision to have a small wedding, we knew we would exclude people we like, but just aren't super close to. My mom still doesn't get that.
I haven't talked to her since the phone call two days ago and I left things up in the air. She is probably hopeful on her end since I didn't come right out and say "NO WAY," (her tears prevented me from doing that) but I told her all the reasons they weren't invited. I just hate hearing her cry and this is such a stupid reason in my opinion, and I know we'll have to discuss it again when she brings it up. Anything else I can say? I don't want to hurt her, but my gosh, SMALL means SMALL.
