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How can I help my bridesmaid with appearance issue?

mandctaftmandctaft
100 Comments Second Anniversary
in Plus-Sized
My BM (cousin) has the classic "lunch lady" arms only they are quite big. I have bigger upper arms, but not as big as hers. I do have another BM whose arms are way bigger than me or my cousin and she doesn't care. Cousin is worried about the way her arms will look. I'm already providing a chiffon wrap for each of my BMs. What else can I do? I don't think she'd have such an issue if her mom didn't make it such a big deal. She wants her to wear a sweater with the dress but this is the same sweater she makes her wear with every dress she wears and because its a halter dress, IMHO it looks like crap and cousin doesn't want to wear it. Also it's a July wedding, so its likely to be 90 degrees and a sweater will be uncomfortable. Is there anything else I can do? Other than hope that the wrap will be enough to comfort her?
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Re: How can I help my bridesmaid with appearance issue?

  • mymissingpuzzlepiecemymissingpuzzlepiece
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    What kind of dress are they wearing?

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  • RaptorSLHRaptorSLH member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    It sounds like her mom is the problem, not your cousin.

    I would try to talk to your cousin alone, and see how she feels.  I feel like a wrap ought to be enough, and if it isn't, what she needs more than a sweater is probably moral support.
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  • bruna29bruna29 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree with Raptor. It definitely sounds like the mom is the one with the problem more than the cousin. I can empathize with your cousin since I have huge upper arms, and I am very worried about my wedding dress. I think offering the cousin a wrap or even encouraging her to pick out a different type/style of sweater that would match the dress better may help the situation (I don't really know what type of sweater since I don't have much info. about the dress). 

    I do think it's great that you're concerned about her comfort on your wedding day, and to me, it sounds like she needs moral support and encouragement from you. I'd talk to the cousin privately (away from her mom) and see exactly what she's concerned about and brainstorm ideas on how you two can go ahead to make her feel more comfortable on your day.
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  • RaptorSLHRaptorSLH member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    edited January 2012
    From your signature, it looks like you're already familiar with the David's Bridal website.  Take a look at their coverage options under the "accessories" tab.  There are light weight and short sleeve options available, if nothing else will give peace of mind.  I just really don't like reinforcing the aunt's message there as a first line of recourse.

    When I was in 11th grade, buying the one and only formal dress I've worn before now, Mom told me covering up too much actually drew more attention to my weight, and refused to let me wear the "old lady" jacket that came with the dress.  Looking back, she was right.
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  • NMINMI member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    Tell your Aunt that no one will be looking at her daughter, they will all be looking at you!

    Does your Aunt know that she sounds negative? She may not be aware, that's the way she sounds.
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  • chickenbut143chickenbut143 member
    500 Comments
    I think the wrap would be perfect and sweater will make her look rediculous in that kindof heat!  :)  Def do what PPs suggested and see if theres anything else you can do.

    Good luck!
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  • MMRoberts11MMRoberts11 member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I think the wrap will be fine.  I'd talk to your aunt though since she is the one causing the problems.
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