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RD (vent)

sbolger17sbolger17 member
Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
in New York
I am so annoyed right now!  Everything seems to be annoying me these days...

I emailed my FMIL just to double check that I had everyone we needed to have on the RD invite list because I'm addressing the invites.  FI and I were already slightly annoyed because she invited people that aren't involved with the wedding to the RD because they were traveling in from out of town on Friday.  (I will add that 95% of our guests have to travel at least 3 hours to get here.)  The two etxra families are both relatives, so fine. 

Now I find out that she's invited 2 other random people who are not family, just her friends, because they're coming up on Friday.  WTF?  I don't want these people at my rehearsal dinner!  To me, the RD should be small -- ours is now at 40 people.  And I didn't buy enough invitations to invite these 2 extra people and keep an invitation for ourselves.  So I emailed her that unfortunately, I didn't order enough invitations and would be 1 short and asked if she wanted to invite someone verbally or said I could not send her and FFIL an invitation and she could keep her FSIL's if she wanted to save one (FSIL lives at home).

I thought about not sending the minister an invitation and just telling her via email, but dammit, I WANT to send her an invitation and I already addressed it.  So let FMIL decide who doesn't get one.  And I AM keeping one for myself.

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Re: RD (vent)

  • kevinandmonica2011kevinandmonica2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry you are so frustrated w/ this.  It is sooooo incredibly rude for someone to invite anyone extra to a party that they are not throwing.  I had this happen to me and it realllly pissed me off, so I feel ya.

    That said, it is somewhat customary to invite anyone traveling from out of town to the RD (especially if it is relatively informal)... or at least to a cocktail hour or something similar. 

    FWIW- We did a very casual BBQ for all of our OOT guests and WP in lieu of the traditional RD... it was awesome and I am so glad we did, because we got to spend a lot of time with our guests who had traveled quite a distance to spend the weekend with us.  The actual wedding day went by in such a blur that I felt very fortunate to have been able to spend time with them the day before.
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  • DondadaTimes2DondadaTimes2
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah that can be frustrating. Are FILs paying for it? Unfortunately if they are then you dont have much of a choice but to let it go. Im sure you know that but I felt the need to say it. Being that most of your guests are oot it seems to me that FMIL should set a boundary and not just pick and choose. Personally I would have asked "Ok so if your oot family gets to come, mine do too right? Should we just have the whole wedding Fri AND Sat or do you think we could keep this RD to just BP, parents and gparents?" But again thats me and the relationship I have with MIL.

    In the end, you'll have fun either way and if you arent paying for it...dont even worry about it.

    People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
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  • kevinandmonica2011kevinandmonica2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_rd-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:621Discussion:21e3186d-c96a-4638-bd6f-27d8219e2f63Post:7284ddac-c832-4e8d-be15-854642fa4f3c">Re: RD (vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE] Are FILs paying for it? Unfortunately if they are then you dont have much of a choice but to let it go. .... <strong>In the end, you'll have fun either way and if you arent paying for it...dont even worry about it.
    </strong>Posted by DondadaTimes2[/QUOTE]

    This, too... he who pays says...  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />
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  • DondadaTimes2DondadaTimes2
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    And if it makes you feel any better...every little thing anyone dis the 2-3 months before my wedding irritated the hell out of me. I was fighting with Josh, my parents, my sister, I even yelled at my boss (like the whole yelling, tears, admitting I hated my job breakdown) it was oretty ugly. The way my boss put it, she could see me breaking and something finally just snapped and I fell apart.

    I think it had everything to do with me wanting my wedding, my way and it not happening and I snapped on everyone I felt was getting in the way.

    So i fully understand everyone irritating you. I just took it a bit further!


    People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
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  • raes19raes19 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Just punch her in the face and you should feel better.




    I kid, I kid!!

    That's how I feel sometimes too. Just tell her there aren't any more invitations, so she will have to invite them over the phone or something. Her problem, not yours.
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  • DondadaTimes2DondadaTimes2
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_rd-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:621Discussion:21e3186d-c96a-4638-bd6f-27d8219e2f63Post:c8d858bf-3ee1-4364-8fb2-25d7cc9cb3ed">Re: RD (vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just punch her in the face and you should feel better. I kid, I kid!! That's how I feel sometimes too. Just tell her there aren't any more invitations, so she will have to invite them over the phone or something. Her problem, not yours.
    Posted by raes19[/QUOTE]

    AMEN! Haha such a Bridgett answer!

    People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
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  • sbolger17sbolger17 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Haha, thanks, ladies.  You make me feel better!

    The FIL's are paying, so technically they can invite anyone they want.  It's just annoying!  It's a pretty formal meal and they were a little taken aback by how pricey it turned out to be but they still keep inviting people.  :-)  FMIL did ask me if I wanted to invite my OOT family, but after talking about it with FI we decided that was too much -- it would easily add up to at least 25 more people! 

    Just frustrating because we wanted it small and now it's a random assortment of people.
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  • kevinandmonica2011kevinandmonica2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_rd-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:621Discussion:21e3186d-c96a-4638-bd6f-27d8219e2f63Post:87d61451-482d-4f81-98fd-b3e7e8b2396d">Re: RD (vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just frustrating because we wanted it small and <strong>now it's a random assortment of people.
    </strong>Posted by sbolger17[/QUOTE]

    Sometimes those end up being the most fun.... you never know.  I'm sure you will enjoy it regardless...  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />
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  • DondadaTimes2DondadaTimes2
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_rd-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:621Discussion:21e3186d-c96a-4638-bd6f-27d8219e2f63Post:0a7cc66f-bf15-4485-acc9-0701eec1036b">Re: RD (vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: RD (vent) : Sometimes those end up being the most fun.... you never know.  <strong>I'm sure you will enjoy it regardless... 
    </strong>Posted by kevinandmonica2011[/QUOTE]

    Agreed

    People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
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