Rehersal Dinner Help!!!

ShannonRenee87 · April 2011

My fiance's family doesn't really understand that they are to pay tradionaly for the dinner. And that out od town family are usually invited.

What would be a good yet low cost idea for a rehersal dinner idea ......

I seriously need help with this it is the ONLY thing in my wedding causing me stress... not even the fact that my MOH's dress hasn't come in isn't scaring me.... UGH!!!!!!!!!!

J&K10910 · April 2011

No, you're the one that doesn't understand. Yes, traditionally the groom's family pays, but it's not required, and you shouldn't expect it. Also, inviting OOT guests is NOT required. Traditionally the RD is only for the people involved in the rehearsal.

You can do anything. A backyard BBQ, order pizza, take people to a local restaurant.

J&K10910 · April 2011

Likewise!

ShannonRenee87 · April 2011

Thanks but in this case my family is expecting my out of town family to attend, because this is my family tradition. So yes they are invited...

We thought of doing it at a resturant near us but all of them a quite expensive....

LoveMuffins · April 2011

????... i seriously don't see anything rude that was written. i mean, i suppose if you wanted to, you could read it in a way that it would sound rude, but it doesn't look like PPs meant it rudely when they wrote it. granted, it's hard to always read tone, but the tone i saw was not rude at all.

i totally get wanting to invite the OOT guests, because i did too, but it's actually not traditional or expected, so don't feel pressured into it. if you want to have more people there, there are always great options like pizza get togethers; italian restaurants are often great for lots of people for less cost; you could have a backyard bbq, etc. or if you'd like a more 'formal' RD, then just do it with you and the people who are involved in the rehearsal - parents, WP, readers, (poss) grandparents.

that's what we're doing, because we're having it at FI's restaurant and the room wont' fit more than that amount of people... i'd love to include the OOTs, but this way we're getting to include FI's co-workers, so i'm just making the best of it (won't lie... kinda bothers me... but... yeah lol).

good luck!

Beachy730 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_rehersal-dinner-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:abb87744-a366-48e2-9bf2-eb673f172797Post:617fffce-9700-460a-a674-c187353e4263">Re: Rehersal Dinner Help!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks but in this case my family is expecting my out of town family to attend, because this is my family tradition. So yes they are invited... We thought of doing it at a resturant near us but all of them a quite expensive....
Posted by ShannonRenee87[/QUOTE]

<div>If your family is "expecting" certain people to be invited, they can cover the cost of them. If you and your FI are paying for the RD then you have control over your guest list. As PP's already said, taditionally the groom's parents pay for the RD, but tradition doesn't always happen. My parents paid for ours, and H and I would have if they hadn't offered. </div><div>
</div><div>Your wedding is in July. Why not plan an outdoor cookout? It doesn't at all have to be formal or expensive, just provide a meal for those involved for in the ceremony, and OOT guests if you choose. You can have it at someone's house, or even just at a park. </div><div>
</div><div>The RD should not be causing you stress. And really, your wedding is 2 and a half months away, so it's NBD that your MOH's dress isn't in yet.</div>

sjgrismer · April 2011

My In-laws offered to pay for the rehersal dinner, but they're on a budget same as us so we're not inviting all out of town relatives, just anyone involved in the ceremony will be invited. It's not required to invite out of town guests that are in town to the rehersal dinner, espeically if they 're not even going to the rehersal ! LOL! They actually reserved a room at a buffet restaurant that we like to go to with them, it's inexpensive, and ppl always get enough to eat that way.

Otherwise you could always have the rehersal dinner at a relatives home that lives close to you and cater the food in, that way you don't have to worry about reserving a room someplace... or as others have said, have a BBQ or even a potluck! That'd be FUN and inexpensive!

GOOD LUCK!

jferlenda · April 2011

*This has been sitting in my reply box for about a half hour while I try and do 10 things at once, so sorry for any repeats from PPs.

Although it's "traditional" for the groom's family to pay for the RD, it by no means should be expected. IMO, nothing really can or should be expected these days in weddings and I hope you're not holding that against them.

Also, inviting OOTs cannot be expected either. It is up to the people paying to decide how big they want the RD to be. The point is simply to thank the WP and the people involved in the rehearsal. The great majority of people coming to our wedding are OOTs, so we certainly couldn't accommodate them all for the RD. We're just doing the WP and immediate family.

As for a different idea, you can do pretty much anything you want, but a popular idea for summer weddings is a BBQ if you're ok with something more informal (which you are going to have to be if you want lots of people there at a low cost).

ShannonRenee87 · April 2011

So maybe getting food at Sonny's and going to a Park would be cute? I live right by the river and maybe that could work? I don't want anything crazy because my wedding is kinda over the top and I want that to be the important thing......

any suggestions on like alch. drinks? like should we provide or not.... it is in the budget but un sure as to whether I want people drunk or not....

mstar284 · April 2011

Yes, it's "traditional" for groom's family to pay, but no one is required to do anything. We're pretty darn lucky that FI's parents offered to host ( It was something I was stressing about planning); however, FMIL specifically stated NO OOT guests. I completely understand! Just WP and their dates, parents, and grandparents are fine with me. I think it makes things a whole heck of a lot easier.

I agree with PP. Rehearsal dinners don't have to be big and fancy. As long as everyone is together and is able to eat and enjoy each other's company, anything goes.

Beachy730 · April 2011

FMIL is future mother in law. This post has a list of common abbreviations on here:

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_faq-start-here

kellya01 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_rehersal-dinner-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:abb87744-a366-48e2-9bf2-eb673f172797Post:64b06f00-e732-4925-9ad2-dabb830fc380">Re: Rehersal Dinner Help!!!</a>:
[QUOTE] sorry to sound<strong> like a tard</strong> but what is : FL FMIL.... could you like make a list of these menaings????? i'm lost
Posted by ShannonRenee87[/QUOTE]

<div>For future reference, please don't use this kind of phrasing to casually insult yourself. "Tard" is slang and short for "retarded person" and it's quite insulting to those of us who understand that people with learning disabilities and physical disabilities have absolutely zero control over how their disability affects them. </div><div>
</div><div>Check out this website about trying to end the demeaning use of "retard" and all other forms of that word. </div><div><a href="http://www.r-word.org/" rel='nofollow'>http://www.r-word.org/</a></div><div>
</div><div>Other PP's have covered your OP. To answer your question about the abbreviations, check out the "stickied" post (has a push pin on it) on the top of the chit chat page. There are a BUNCH of really common abbreviations that are tediously long to type out all the time on the message boards, hence the use of abbreviations. Welcome to the boards! Hope this helps!! :-) </div><div>
</div>

Summer2011Bride · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_rehersal-dinner-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:abb87744-a366-48e2-9bf2-eb673f172797Post:30fe5f16-9749-464d-b530-8c04c3219687">Re: Rehersal Dinner Help!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Rehersal Dinner Help!!! : <strong> For future reference, please don't use this kind of phrasing to casually insult yourself. "Tard" is slang and short for "retarded person" and it's quite insulting to those of us who understand that people with learning disabilities and physical disabilities have absolutely zero control over how their disability affects them.</strong> Check out this website about trying to end the demeaning use of "retard" and all other forms of that word. <a href="http://www.r-word.org/" rel='nofollow'>http://www.r-word.org/</a> Other PP's have covered your OP. To answer your question about the abbreviations, check out the "stickied" post (has a push pin on it) on the top of the chit chat page. There are a BUNCH of really common abbreviations that are tediously long to type out all the time on the message boards, hence the use of abbreviations. Welcome to the boards! Hope this helps!! :-)
Posted by kellya01[/QUOTE]

Co-signed.

And OP, if your family expects OOT guests to be there, they should foot the bill. I think going to a park sounds nice, but you need to check their liquor policy first of all. I have no idea what Sonny's is....a restaurant I'm assuming? Local restaurants are very common places for RD's as well. You could really do anything. A picnic, BBQ, pizza takeout, etc.

Avion22 · April 2011

They are not obligated to pay, nor are you obligated to invite all of your out of town guests. I've been to several weddings where the couple paid for the RD, and OOT guests were not invited.

Avion22 · April 2011

I think BBQ in the park sounds really fun, especially if the rest of the weekend is going to be formal and over-the-top. Those weddings where the whole weekend is planned out as one formal event after another can be really difficult on guests, especially out-of-towners. I've no kidding been to weddings where I had to plan 4 different outfits. Not fun.

MairePoppy · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_rehersal-dinner-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:abb87744-a366-48e2-9bf2-eb673f172797Post:30fe5f16-9749-464d-b530-8c04c3219687">Re: Rehersal Dinner Help!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Rehersal Dinner Help!!! : For future reference, please don't use this kind of phrasing to casually insult yourself. "Tard" is slang and short for "retarded person" and it's quite insulting to those of us who understand that people with learning disabilities and physical disabilities have absolutely zero control over how their disability affects them. <strong>Check out this website about trying to end the demeaning use of "retard" and all other forms of that word. <a href="http://www.r-word.org/" rel='nofollow'>http://www.r-word.org/</a>
</strong>Posted by kellya01[/QUOTE]

Thank you for posting this, Kelly : )

Rehersal Dinner Help!!!

Re: Rehersal Dinner Help!!!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards