2 questions

KendallR10 · September 2011

Are any of you friends with any one in your SO's command? How do you know them?

I'm friends with the Fwd BNCO and the Det. BNCO. They are both long time family friends.

For those of you who have a deployed FI how did you react when he brought it up?

FI brought one up the other day. I was okay with it. Once he left I cried. Then when he told me the unit wouldn't release him I did a little happy dance. Does that make me a bad person?

shan87 · September 2011

We are new but I really like his Squad Commander's wife. No one that I would consider friends yet.

H was acting really weird and I asked what was up. He said it really quick and asked if I stilled loved him. I said of course. I am excited for him to deploy because that means he is flying and doing what he loves.... he has been training and working towards this his entire life.

firsttimersluck · September 2011

Nah. I know a few retired generals because they were my best friends' (in high school) dads.. and my mom is "higher up" on the civilian side of things so she is really close with a lot of 06+ , but it doesn't come up much for FI. We keep those things seperate. Fi's career is influenced by what he does in the squadron, and not by who I know. :]

When I met Fi he already knew about when he was going to deploy, and I already knew the military, so it was nothing new. It sucked as the time got closer because he started working more and more.. and It was painful because they had him on the WORST flight schedule where he wasn't getting his full 8hours between flights, or was getting a weird amount so he was constantly up for 36 hours, then sleep for 12 then up for 36 then.. etc.. It was blah. But we enjoyed what deployment did for our relationship, and we knew that it would be that way so the thought wasn't scary.
On the bright side, fi had pretty decent living arrangements for the most part... he had some REALLY crappy ones at some points, but for the most part pilots are spoiled in that respect. :P I'm not looking forward to him being deployed for our 1st wedding anniv. though

calindi · September 2011

I haven't dealt with deployment yet, but when FI told me last year that he was going to do the summer internship thing far away, I wasn't happy. I was stressing as I had just moved to this new city to be with him, and then I was going to be all alone for 3 months. But he didn't end up going (lack of funding). And when he told me this year that he was going, I was thrilled for him. Part of it is age - you learn to be more confident on your own. And part of it is just acclimating to the military - I knew this was what he wanted, that it was good for his career, and that in the scheme of things this was so not a big deal at all. I'll probably be a bit more stressed when I hear about a deployment, simply because I'll worry about him, but I probably won't cry except the day he leaves (and maybe a few times that first week he's gone).

crownsuperstar · September 2011

When the H told me about the deployment I was sad at first but more for the things that he would be missing. Friend's wedding, another friend's 40th b-day party/trip and of course the holidays. This like deployment 850 (kidding but still just another one) so he is used to it. For him it is a job that he loves.

Like Calindi said, I think that having your own confidence and your own life to keep you busy is key to getting through. Oh yeah C- I was the "ugly crier" when he left. HAA!

Am I worried? Of course so
Do I know he is safe? most of the time
Do I pray more during the day? Totally

It is part of the job and it comes with the duties. I just put on my big girl panites and deal with. I also have really great friends and family that help get through it. I also think that is key!

calindi · September 2011

Crown - the hardest day was the day he left for OCS, simply because I didn't know what was going on. I had been told by so many people that we wouldn't make it through him joining the Marines and moving 1500 miles away to go to law school right after, and that he'd change from the experience into some kind of robot. Ha! Changed for the better - he's so much more disciplined and determined and driven now, and all the good things are still the same. I didn't know at the time, though, if I was saying goodbye for 10 weeks or if it was the 'beginning of the end' for us. But I knew he was scared, so I held it together and said goodbye and basically ran away so he didn't see me crying. I sat in my car, cried hard and UGLY for about 20 minutes, called his family to tell them he was okay (made me feel better to do something useful) and then called my Mom to tell her I was okay and went to work. No one at work even knew something had happened that day.

I have a feeling it'll be similar (though worrying for different reasons) when it comes time for deployment. I'll hold it together for him, and then be a basket case for a bit after he leaves. Maybe I'll bribe Sami to visit for a few days, with a bucket of her pumpkin cookies!

crownsuperstar · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_qotd-wednesday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:2b2f994b-bc4b-45c9-b518-74d61f20eee0Post:8dabccba-efc7-4969-b309-11fa5ad5cfed">Re: 2 questions</a>:
[QUOTE]Crown - the hardest day was the day he left for OCS, simply because I didn't know what was going on. I had been told by so many people that we wouldn't make it through him joining the Marines and moving 1500 miles away to go to law school right after, and that he'd change from the experience into some kind of robot. Ha! Changed for the better - he's so much more disciplined and determined and driven now, and all the good things are still the same. I didn't know at the time, though, if I was saying goodbye for 10 weeks or if it was the 'beginning of the end' for us. But I knew he was scared, so I held it together and said goodbye and basically ran away so he didn't see me crying. I sat in my car, cried hard and UGLY for about 20 minutes, called his family to tell them he was okay (made me feel better to do something useful) and then called my Mom to tell her I was okay and went to work. No one at work even knew something had happened that day. I have a feeling it'll be similar (though worrying for different reasons) when it comes time for deployment. I'll hold it together for him, and then be a basket case for a bit after he leaves. Maybe I'll bribe Sami to visit for a few days, with a bucket of her pumpkin cookies!
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

Funny you said that. I found a park on post and sat in the parking lot sobing for like a hour...I mean blotchy chest, puffy eyes and snotty nose. Then I looked up and there was a kid's b-day party going on. So I decided I needed to get it together or those people would think that I was some sort of creeper!!! HAA. So I went and got a LARGE pizza and a tub of ice cream and had a pitty party for one. It was very helpful. Hint...Ben and Jerry's Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream works wonders!

kyrgyzstan · September 2011

H originally was assigned to a non-deployable unit after he lat moved. I prayed every day that the monitor would chang his mind, and he did. Deployments are good for promotion, http://www.dfas.mil/militarymembers/payentitlements/sdp.html, he gets to actually do his job (his community has lost three people in training accidents in the last three months, so he's anxious to get to combat).

SamiJoeB · September 2011

I don't know anyone is H's command personally. I know of people just from him mentioning them.

H's forward deployed right now. I just look at deployments as part of the life I signed up for when he asked me to marry him and I said yes. It's him doing his job. Who am I to stand in the way of him just doing his job.

Kendall- It doesn't make you a bad person, none of us WANT our SO's to be in harms way, but it's the reality that we live in as military SO's. It's his job, being unhappy about it won't make him not deploy.

SamiJoeB · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_qotd-wednesday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:2b2f994b-bc4b-45c9-b518-74d61f20eee0Post:be3878c3-4434-4c80-92f9-cab3ebb37ca4">Re: 2 questions</a>:
[QUOTE]Nah. I know a few retired generals because they were my best friends' (in high school) dads.. and my mom is "higher up" on the civilian side of things so she is really close with a lot of 06+ , but it doesn't come up much for FI. We keep those things seperate. Fi's career is influenced by what he does in the squadron, and not by who I know. :] When I met Fi he already knew about when he was going to deploy, and I already knew the military, so it was nothing new. It sucked as the time got closer because he started working more and more.. and It was painful because they had him on the WORST flight schedule where he wasn't getting his full 8hours between flights, or was getting a weird amount so he was constantly up for 36 hours, then sleep for 12 then up for 36 then.. etc.. It was blah. But we enjoyed what deployment did for our relationship, and we knew that it would be that way so the thought wasn't scary. On the bright side, fi had pretty decent living arrangements for the most part... he had some REALLY crappy ones at some points, but for the most part pilots are spoiled in that respect. :P <strong>I'm not looking forward to him being deployed for our 1st wedding anniv. though :(</strong>
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

We're in this boat too!!

crownsuperstar · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_qotd-wednesday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:2b2f994b-bc4b-45c9-b518-74d61f20eee0Post:c29158a4-9163-4649-b287-4fc254c70172">Re: 2 questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 2 questions : We're in this boat too!!
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

Is there room in that boat for me too??? I am right there with y'all!!!!

firsttimersluck · September 2011

arg. Dumb military. Don't they know how important we are ????

prettyirishgirl · September 2011

I don't know any one in his grouping now since he just moved and is in class. I do know people at Rucker in the flight program that are family friends, but he isn't with them yet. I had been close to a lot of the guys and wives in his old unit and battalion in WA and their sister units in other bases because it is a really tight nit group and the different groups deploy together and do training together. I also got closer to a lot of the people in the unit because some of the wives wouldn't pass on info and the guys would and once the chain of command hear about it and called me when he found out that no one had told me about when they were returning from a deployment (office drama!!). Also sInce his dad and brother were/are both career army when we moved to the west coast we ended up a lot closer to family friend or his dads old buddies that we ended up seeing and because FI is deploying a lot I went out a few times with his dad (he would come visit at different points and a few FI was supposed to be home and ended up not being so) and friends then found out latter on that they were in the chain of command for FIs unit etc when we would go to some function or whatever.

I didn't really react negatively to his deployments. He deployed multiple times a year since before we started dating so I knew what I was getting into. He has been in forever and I have a lot of family and friends that are military so I was used to deployments. I don't particularly enjoy them, but I also dont usually get really upset or anything because it is always happening and he loves doing it so I'd never say I don't like it because I can't and wouldnt change it. With how often he comes and goes tt gets me almost indifferent and a little complacent really quick when it happens so often. I think I dropped him off for deployments maybe about 10 times since we started dating over the course of the three and a half esk years. There were a bunch I went there for and just picked him up as well. He has been gone for at least one if not more of all major holidays, both our birthdays and our anniversary He has also missed events we arranged to go to and vacations that he has had to opt out of because of deployments. It is nice to not have him gone for so long as most, but it stinks to be saying bye so often. It was also a lot of short notice as well. He would come home and be like yeah we changed the rotation so in a week he could be leaving staying leaving staying etc just because they were all playing with the calendar. He would also walk in and say I'm getting on a plain in 12 hours bye hunny. I also never know where he is deploying to because they change the location and the length which is a pain in the back side. But like some of yall said it's their job and not liking it wont change it. it is much easier for them to leave if they know we are ok. Fi gets upset if he feels like i'm hurt, so he has never seen me even remotely upset because of a deployment. Even if I'm not happy with it i suck it up screw on a smile and kiss him good by and bring him in to work. And when he comes home I bite my tongue regardless of what crap i had to go through to get on post or be there for waiting for them to finish up everything and check it all in (they are very fly by the seat of their pants about getting back) so that regardless of how bad the trip was or what went wrong I'm happy to see him and its about him being home and us being back together not about the bad stuff or the stress. we dont talk about any of the crap until minimum 12 hours usually closer to 24 after him being home as a rule.

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