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Christian Weddings

prayer request

Hey ladies. I hope your Monday is going well!

Without going into much background, my FH & I are planning our wedding from a distance. I live in VA for work and he is in IN. I am extremely blessed to have the job that I do, but I have been looking for jobs in IN for the past 6 months or so. I'm struggling because I received an offer from a compay in SLC, but saying yes to them would be a huge downfall for him (he's currently working retail, & actively searching for a career). 

My family thinks I should accept the offer and move to UT, and ask him to join me. I have told them that this isn't really an option for us, as his career choice is extremely slim in SLC. They don't seem to care, and say he should "suck it up" and "move anyway" because this job sounds "perfect" for me. I can't accept the offer knowing he would be giving up everything - again - for my career. There's a possibility of an ideal job opening up for me in IN, but it's been nearly 3 weeks since I last heard anything.

I guess I just need some help accepting what is going on right now, and help talking to my family. Thanks, ladies.
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Re: prayer request

  • Praying for you. 
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  • Since your path is leading to marriage you and FH have an opportunity to make a major decision together which is what you'll be doing for many years to come. Tell your family "Thanks for your opinions, we'll let you know what we decide." From what they've said they don't seem to respect FH. This is the man who's decisions will have a big impact on your life, it's not the time to make your own plans if he's not on board. Does your family not like him?

    You haven't mentioned what your FH's opinion is. Is he excited you got the offer, does he know? Do you feel like God is calling you to Utah? Is this a place you can see yourself living years down the road? If FH is working retail and looking for a job what makes you think he won't be able to get a job in SLC? 

    I would get FH's opinion on SLC and then talk about different solutions. Can you stay at the job you feel blessed to have and keep looking, in 6 months if you are in the same place will he consider moving? Can you both move to SLC and give it a trial run? Find win wins so that you both feel excited about what you decide. Maybe FH has always pictured raising a family in a specific state. 

    Praying you'll have wisdom clarity!

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_prayer-request-50?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:96c3005e-7f16-4408-b187-d85ae1c611dePost:a00aa3cc-e56a-4c93-9a9d-76f00a329804">Re: prayer request</a>:
    [QUOTE]Since your path is leading to marriage you and FH have an opportunity to make a major decision together which is what you'll be doing for many years to come. Tell your family "Thanks for your opinions, we'll let you know what we decide." From what they've said they don't seem to respect FH. This is the man who's decisions will have a big impact on your life, it's not the time to make your own plans if he's not on board. <strong>Does your family not like him?</strong> You haven't mentioned what your FH's opinion is.<strong> Is he excited you got the offer, does he know? Do you feel like God is calling you to Utah? Is this a place you can see yourself living years down the road? If FH is working retail and looking for a job what makes you think he won't be able to get a job in SLC?  I would get FH's opinion on SLC and then talk about different solutions. Can you stay at the job you feel blessed to have and keep looking, in 6 months if you are in the same place will he consider moving? Can you both move to SLC and give it a trial run?</strong> Find win wins so that you both feel excited about what you decide. Maybe FH has always pictured raising a family in a specific state.  
    Posted by nwwoodsybride[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>My family says they like him, but then they turn around and do things like this. Part of me feels like they don't like him because he's "stealing me away" (I'm the youngest) and his family opened my eyes to the one relationship I was missing most in my life - my relationship with God. (My family is not religious. We attended church on Christmas & Easter because "it was the right thing to do" but then eventually stopped going. I tried to keep going without them, but eventually gave up)</div><div>
    </div><div>He knows I got the offer, and was unmoved by it, because we can't see ourselves living in SLC down the road. I don't feel like God is calling me to UT, but... what do I know? I've been praying on this for a month, and nothing has changed.</div><div>
    </div><div>I don't think he'll find a job in SLC because retail is<em> </em>not his dream job - it's one to help pay the bills. His dream job is running sound at a church. And SLC doesn't exactly provide him with options for that - especially since the only non-denominational churches that really need full time sound techs are 2000+ people, and, from what I have seen in SLC, the non-denominational churches there are all 1500 or less. He has connections in IN, is volunteering at his church, and is the part-time theater manager at a local high school (on top of his full-time retail position).</div><div>
    </div><div>Part of the problem, okay, the biggest problem, with my job right now, is that I have moved 3 times since I started full time in June 2011. Once to the office in ATL, then to DFW last January, then here, to Richmond, in Sept. If I stay with this company, I will be moving again in Aug/Sept, to an undetermined location for an undetermined length of time. I'm a construction engineer, so I'm currently moving project-to-project. (Basically it's like I'm military with how much I move) So I can't possibly expect him to hold down a job with my current job situation. We've discussed that, and we've decided that our best course of action is to get me back into an office - which, with this company, is a huge struggle.</div>
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  • rajahmdrajahmd Galifrey member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I will be praying for you and your fiance.  Good luck and god bless!

    Also, I sent you a private message Lplions.
    Anniversary
  • Thanks, ladies.

    Rachel, I sent you a PM back.
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  • rajahmdrajahmd Galifrey member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_prayer-request-50?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:96c3005e-7f16-4408-b187-d85ae1c611dePost:477406d6-761d-47ce-8417-ca2096b181d4">Re: prayer request</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks, ladies. Rachel, I sent you a PM back.
    Posted by lplions[/QUOTE]
    <span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;"> I sent you a PM back</span>
    Anniversary
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