Bridal Shower Status? Pending!

ECJ · May 2012

Hi there!

Hoping to get some advice. I’m lost on what to do.

Here’s the deal. One of my friends who was a bridesmaid at my wedding is getting married. She has asked me to be her MOH. The problem is I am the only adult in her wedding party. The rest of her wedding party is made up of younger cousins, nieces and nephews.

Although my friend was in my wedding party, my bridal party at the time didn’t need to shell out any money for a shower. My parents gladly put the entire thing together. Although it really shouldn’t be about returning the favor, I’d like to still do something special for her.

I’d like to throw her a wedding shower. I contacted her MOB, MOG and SOB. MOB says she cannot afford to help. The sister says she can only assist with decorations and MOG is willing to help some. I Know it’s the MOH responsibility to coordinate with the bridal party but since we’re lacking in that category and the family isn’t willing to help what can I do?

My home is too small to host and no family members are willing to offer up their home for the shower. I found a really affordable venue but definitely cannot do it alone.

Do I let the MOG know how much I’m willing to spend upfront? This way she can keep the guest list to a minimum? What if it ends up being unaffordable? How can I make it up to her?

toothpastechica · May 2012

Could you do something at a park? It could be inexpenesive just bring a cake and maybe some finger foods, or talk to the one who said she would help you and see if she can help get some appys together? Depending when the wedding is, if you can have the shower in the summer this might be a good option.

MyNameIsNot · May 2012

No one is obligated or responsible for throwing this. If MOG has offered to help financially, ask her how much she can contribute. Then see if the two of you can afford the location you like. If not, start looking for a plan B. Maybe you need to cut the guest list so that they will fit in someone's house, choose a park or pavillion that you can use for free, or find some other way to cut.

If it comes down that you just can't afford it, you just can't afford it, and that will be ok.

StephBeanWed61502 · May 2012

Have you looked into things like local VFW halls/church fellowship halls/Knights of Columbus halls/community centers/etc.? They are usually inexpensive and allow you to bring in your own food/drinks/etc. so so don't get stuck with a giant catering bill.

thurmanpowell · May 2012

The big issue seems like it would be food, Have you asked if family members could afford to bring some of their favorite dishes? They may not be able to shell out much cash for the venue you like, but maybe they could make a pasta salad?

Also, like the PPs said, the park idea isn't a bad one. Some libraries also have meeting rooms and allow food. It may not be the formal even you'd like to give her, but she must know that money is tight for her relatives and she must know that the rest of her wedding party isn't much help. You said she was in your wedding previously, so she should understand that it is a financial commitment and she should be gracious and accepting of whatever you can afford.

Bridal Shower Status? Pending!

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