Family issues (deleted post)

dixiefeltus · November 2011

This post has been deleted.

em01092 · November 2011

If you are paying, you get to decide all of the details. It stinks that your family isn't more involved, but they don't have to be and you can't make them care. I hope your FI is sticking up for you to his mom, if she is saying mean things to you. I get that the ex wife has to be in the picture as the mother of his kids, but she shouldn't be going overboard.

Muffin'sMom · November 2011

I will tell you the same thing I told my daughter. If you are marrying someone with an ex and kids, you need to be real about you are signing up to live with FOREVER. His kids aren't going away, the ex isn't going away. The drama will not go away. You cannot let someone else dictate how you FEEL. Decide what will make you happy, go with that, and don't let anyone steal your happiness.

At our house, when people act like that, we do the southern thing. You tilt your head, pat them on the arm, give them a sweet smile and say, "Well bless your heart...aren't you just SPECIAL! " Then you walk away.

nlindsay17 · November 2011

I am so sorry you are not being supported by either side. Like Muffin's Mom said you can't let them spoil your happiness. Try to keep your distance from these negative people and don't talk about the wedding with them. Congratulations and I wish you the best!

volleygurl0306 · November 2011

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this! You should remember that with your wedding though you are creating a new family of your own with your FI and his kids (you probably already even consider them your primary fam) so that's what is most important. You said you have spoken to your families about what they say...do they also fully understand the circumstances of your divorces? If you were in an unhappy/loveless/etc marriage, they should understand the need to leave that and to find someone who appreciates you and makes you happy. You don't need to bash your exes persay (especially since your FI's ex is the mom of your soon-to-be-stepkids) but they need to understand why you and your exes were not good together. Also, you are going to come to some sort of terms with having your FI's ex wife in your life if she has your stepkids most of the time. And, his parents will always feel something towards her since she gave them their grandchildren. But, positive feelings for her does NOT have to mean negative feeling towards you. They can like both of you....your FI just needs to stick up for you and explain why you are better FOR HIM than his ex. Best of luck!

dixiefeltus · November 2011

Thanks for all the advice everyone! I really appreciate it! I know a couple people mentioned it...my fiance always sticks up for me to his family and explains how much better his life is since I became a part of it and I do the same for him to my family. My fiance and I had another discussion about all the family issues. We decided that we will continue with our wedding plans, since that's what we originally wanted. We have a lot of supportive friends that would love to share our day and I feel if we eloped because of family turmoil we would eventually regret it. Thanks again!

vicki0508 · November 2011

In the future, please don't delete your original post. Other brides could have a similar question or similar situation, and your question could've helped them out. Instead now they'll just have to ask the same thing as you did.

Family issues (deleted post)

Re: Family issues (deleted post)

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