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Bridal Shower & FMIL; there's a situation......

tbretzketbretzke
First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
A recent issue has caused a rift between my FMIL and I. We are not on speaking terms at this time. My Bridal Shower is in a few weeks and I really don't want her there unless things change soon.

I know the "mothers" should be invited, but I really cannot even be in the same room with this woman right now.

The current guest list consists of my family and friends only, as my FH family is too large to include all the women from his side too. If she is invited, she will be the only one from his side of the family. 

Questions:

Is it acceptable to keep the guest list to my family and friends (due to the current rift)?

Should I just suck it up, be an adult, and invite her anyway (praying she will not attend)?

Any suggestions? Thanks.




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Re: Bridal Shower & FMIL; there's a situation......

  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In my region, the MOG is SOMETIMES invited.

    The shower is for the bride and her closest friends.  If the bride is truly friends, CLOSE friends, with the MOG, then the MOG gets invited.  Otherwise, no.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    The MOB and MOG and sisters should be invited to all showers. The hostess should send your FMIL an invitation. Excluding her would be a grand faux pas and will only make matters worse between the two of you. Wouldn't you like to resolve this before the wedding, so the negativity doesn't carry over?

                       
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  • tbretzketbretzke
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A resolution to the matter would be good, since it's a destination wedding. Maybe it will help?

    Before the rift, there was not doubt in my mind I would invite her (my FH & I have been together almost 10 years), but now it's a tough decision. It's true, that it may only make matters worse and we do not need that. At least if she is invited, she can make the choice?

    So, is it uncommon to have a bridal shower with only the bride's family?

    Thanks for the reassurance :)
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I have never been to a shower where the MOB and MOG weren't invited. If there are grandmothers and sisters, they are also included. Sometimes the families have separate showers if they live far away from each other or the families are large. But the mothers always receive a courtesy invite to all showers.

    You are doing the right thing by including FMIL. Hopefully, she will do the right thing by showing up and being sociable. At least you will know that you didn't add fuel to the fire.

    Good luck.


                       
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Well, I'd say that excluding her from your shower certainly isn't going to make things any better.  Is this really how you want to start married life?  By further p!ssing off your FMIL?
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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