Taking my last name?

amandarashell · March 2012

How do you feel about this?
My FI really wants us to have the same last name, but knows that I am completely adamant on keeping my last name. My last name is my last and only like to my dad and that part of my heritage so it's non-neogiable.
FI understands and said he would be willing to take my last name. I feel kind of odd ablout it, but I would be okay with it. Mostly I am just greatful that he is so understanding. How do you ladies feel about the man taking the woman's last name?

dumdumfroggie · March 2012

If you're both ok with it, go with it. Be sure to check out the rules for your state on doing that. Often times there is more hassle for the man to change his name for some reason.

baystateapple · March 2012

To each their own. It's really his decision, if he wants to take your last name then let him do it.

One of my high school teachers took his wife's last name when they got married. He got a lot of flack about being "whipped", which I thought was stupid. It's his choice. I have another friend whose sister and her FI decided that they were both going to change their last names to something totally different when they got married, because neither of them liked their last names and they wanted something different. So it's not completely unheard of.

shadowkat08 · March 2012

I'd probably be a bit surprised if I met someone who took their wife's last name, only because it's not commonly done, but I don't see why it would be an issue or anything.

You may get side-eyed or lectured by traditionalists, but if you're adamant about it and your fiance doesn't mind, why not?

lyndausvi · March 2012

It's his name. If he wants to, I don't see a problem.

Like PP said, check you state laws on the subject. Some states make the guy go throw hoops to change their name.

ceh789 · March 2012

In a few years, no one outside your family will notice that he took your name and not vice versa.

casyme · March 2012

OMG, you better marry that guy before I do, because he is clearly awesome.

And he is not alone - I know two men who have taken all or part of their wives' last names as their own. They get serious bad-ass points in my book. And if anybody looks down their nose at you for it, they're living in the past and you can just ignore them.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2012

I think that's great. I wouldn't be shocked if I heard it, I'd think it was cool! In California, either party can change either their middle or last name to the current or birth middle/last name (or a combination) of the other party. So your FI would be able to change his last name to your last name on the marriage license.

redheadfsu · March 2012

It think it is great he wants to take your name. He is awesome in my book. Just ditto pps about checking out your state's laws. As in some states it is the same as the woman's name change procedure and other states make the guy file a petition in court to change it.

entropicbeauty · March 2012

Your man sounds awesome! Kudos.

amandarashell · March 2012

I gotta say my redneck boy is pretty amazing

Thanks for your input and support! I thought people would be weird about it, but it's nice to know that everyone thinks its as cool as I do. And again thank you

tpender13 · March 2012

I think it's great!

I was friends with a couple where the woman's bio dad was never in her life and she was raised by her stepdad. She'd always wanted to change her last name to his, but for whatever reason never did. When they got married, they both changed their name to a hyphenated one; Groomslast-Stepdadslast. I thought that was really sweet.

toothpastechica · March 2012

I love the idea!

some of my good friends were in this situation because they already had a daughter (and were not together anymore when she was born so she only had mom's last name), and 2 years later he came back into thier lives, apologized and they got married. He took her last name since its easier since the child already has her last name and it would mean changing multiple names if she changed hers.

He has said that in the beginning some of the guys he worked with teased him, but that if you love your wife who gives a crap about what the guys you work with say really...and now 5 years later (and 2 more kids), he says hes really glad he took her last name since they are more connected with her family anyways, and no one remembers or cares enough to make fun of it anymore.

mandi921vh · March 2012

I think it's a great idea! Both FI and I will be hyphenating our last names after we get married to MyLastName-HisLastName. He has been getting some serious shiit from his friends, but it really isn't anyone's business what a couple decides to do with their last name(s) after marriage.

Taking my last name?

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