Michigan-Detroit

More than 1 maid of honor?

Has anyone ever had 2 maid of honors, or no maid of honor at all? I want to ask my best friend to be my MOH but I don't feel she is ready for the type of responsibility that comes with being MOH (planning, being available, etc) and I don't want to hurt her feelings by not asking (we've been BFFs since we were in the 6th grade). 

And not to mention our styles are very different. 

Advice?
Thanks!

Re: More than 1 maid of honor?

  • Most people on here will tell you that MOH's have no responsibilities so be prepared to her that on here, I wouldn't not ask her because you feel that way, ask her because she is your bff, then offer for her to help with anything... You can have 2 MOH;s and you can also have none, the choice is all up to you... I have known people to have none because they didn't want to hurt anyone. Like I said your BP doesn't have to do anything for you, just be there for you.
  • I've been on the Knot for over 3 years, and the statements you make are very loaded and don't often solicit the type of response you think they will. But, this board is a kinder, gentler one than the topic boards (ie reception ideas, etiquette, etc, off to the left). We like our local brides, LOL.

    Most brides today only expect their MOH to stand up with them at the front of the church, hold their bouquet during the ceremony, maybe assist with planning a shower or two, maybe plan the bachelorette party with the rest of the bridesmaids, that's about it. It's supposed to be an honor to be a MOH, not a job.

    You don't elaborate on what you expect of your BFF, so perhaps I'm jumping to conclusions. If so, I apologize.

    The same is true of the entire wedding party. You ask them because they are your closest family or friends in the world. They share your special day, and maybe go shopping for bridesmaids dresses, and assist with throwing showers or bachelorette party. If your friend is not available for any of that due to personal characteristics or un-reliability for anything, then don't designate a MOH. There's nothing wrong with that.

    When I got married in August 2011, I had 2 best friends who I had known for over 30 years. However, I also had a daughter who was 16 at the time, and means the world to me. I could never have justified choosing someone else over her, so she was my MOH. She had no responsibilities other than to be there on the day of the wedding, standing closer to me than the other bridesmaids, and holding the bouquet. It would have been selfish of me to expect her to plan a party, she wasn't capable. The designation of MOH was an honor, and did not come with multiple duties or responsibilities.

    Not sure you understand what I'm saying, I'm not being critical. If you have reservations about your BFF, then I recommend choosing no one, or waiting to bestow that honor on anyone until closer to your wedding.
  • As Sue mentioned, MOHs really don't have any duties aside from showing up in the specified attire on the specified day. Many do help by hosting showers or helping with planning or execution on the day -- but it's not required.

    I would select who is most important to you in your life. If that ends up being 2 people, that's totally fine. You can also choose not to have a MOH. Again, it's not as though any duties will be left undone if you go that route. You just need to designate someone to sign your marriage license as a witness.
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  • I have 2 MOH for my upcoming wedding in September. I have a lot of bridesmaids and chose my closest friend and relative to kind of take the lead on things (the MOHs will be planning the bachelorette party). For the most part, I'm planning a large chunk of the wedding on my own - but my MOHs are perfect to go to for an extra piece of advice. [[Another reason I went with 2 MOHs is because my fiancé has 2 brothers and will be having them be the Best Men...but it worked out for both of us :} ]]
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