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BM Dresses

gouc23gouc23 member
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in Moms and Maids
I have decided to let my bridesmaids pick the dress they want to wear for the wedding (same material, length color etc.) and i have gotten a few answers from my girls back and i'm not like what i am seeing. We are having a casual barn wedding and some of my girls want to wear these blinged out dresses. Since i told them they could choose, am i aloud to say no to it if it is too over the top? i don't like to be difficult but i really am not a fan of be-jeweled BM dresses especially when i am weraring a simple dress (pretty much no bling on it) Help!!!
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Re: BM Dresses

  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Have you showed them your dress.  I think you can tell them that you would prefer for them to wear a more "casual" look than what they have chosen.  If you're doing a casual barn wedding then they would be overdressed for the occasion.  Try showing them ideas of the style that they should choose.  They can still choose the silhouette that fits them best.
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  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto jagore. I just think you weren't specific enough when you told them the parameters. When you let them pick their dresses, you shouldn't have to "approve" the dresses they want, IMO (because that sort of defeats the purpose), but I think you just gave them a little too much freedom for what you were invisioning. It's not a crime to want a casual look and I agree with them being overdressed. 

    It sounds like you just assumed they'd pick something casual...maybe you just assumed they would if they knew the vibe you were going for. Did they not know the details of your wedding? Maybe they are also just looking for things they can wear again or letting their tastes take over. 

    If you told them to pick something casual and they ignored you, I definitely don't think you're wrong for saying anything. 
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  • nlindsay17nlindsay17 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it's fine for you to tell them that you would really prefer that their dress reflect the casual feel of your wedding. There are tons of dresses for them to choose from so they should not have a problem picking something without any bling. Best of luck and have fun with your planning.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited December 2011
    I think it is perfectly acceptable to let them know that even thought the dresses they picked are very pretty they just don't go with the overall feel of your wedding.  I would find a pic or two of dresses that you think would be appropriate for a more casual wedding.  I would also show them your dress and tell them bit more about the feel you are going for, for your wedding.

    Like a PP said, it is still really early for them to be buying their dresses.  I would tell them to hold off until after the holidays are over with then start looking again.  Also (referring to another PP), once you give your parameters then it is up to them to pick a dress...you shouldn't have to approve it because it defeats the purpose of letting them pick their own dress.

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  • divadancer11divadancer11 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I would be a little more specific....like the other PP's stated. Or you could even select 2-3 dresses that they can pick from then at least you know that you will be happy with it.
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  • volleygurl0306volleygurl0306 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Unless you have a basic color (like black), you may want to pick aa designer they can choose from as well.  Different companies have different shades for the same color (i.e. one of my colors is royal blue and not everyone shows me the same color for royal blue).  If you want them the same exact color, find a designer whose style you like and let them choose from there. 
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  • froggatt.clarefroggatt.clare
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bm-dresses-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:cd089a75-2107-4eb6-9e2d-4a61abbbc520Post:43af07f3-1d62-4847-b0ed-03d988726c8c">Re: BM Dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your wedding isn't until September 2012.  Just tell them to put the brakes on it for now.  "I don't want you to be out money now for a dress that will just hang in your closet for almost a year.  We'll look together in the spring."
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    I wholeheartedly agree.  My wedding is in September, and I've told my bridesmaids to find a little black cocktail dress of choice.  I specifically said (only half joking) that they can shop in their closets, or run over to the local mall the day before the wedding if they want to. 

    I understand your concern that the dresses won't be quite in your wedding theme.  Once spring rolls around, gently remind the ladies the location and 'feel' of the event.  Hopefully they'll get the hint!
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