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I don't know what to do!!!

kaos16kaos16 member
Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
in Registry and Gift Forum
I feel like an ungrateful brat for even posting this, but here goes:

My fiance's mom works at one of the stores where we registered.  Clearly she has seen our registry and what we want. . . . so everyday she works (3 times a week usually) she brings us home something off of our registry.  While it is very sweet of her, i'm beginning to feel badly about it.  I know that she can spend her money however she likes, but even with her amazing discounts, she is spending hundreds of dollars on gifts for us.

On top of that, she is essentially wiping out all of our lower price point items.  This makes me feel bad for the guests coming to the shower that my sister (MOH) is planning.  I tried to get stuff in all price points when we were creating the registry, and I don't want potential shower guests to b unhappy when everything left is more expensive.

My big plan initially was to just put more stuff on our second registry at a different store. Now she is buying the equivilant of that stuff from her store!!

I feel horrible because I know it is extremely generous of her, and it seems to make her happy to get all of this stuff, but it's just getting to be too much!

Is there anything I can do or am I just being a brat who should suck it up and deal with it?
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Re: I don't know what to do!!!

  • Lang125Lang125
    100 Comments
    If it makes her happy to be this generous, just let her do it.  I wouldn't add more items to your other registry, it just means that more people might give cash or go another route.  I wouldn't really worry about it - I wish I had this problem!
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  • hoffsehoffse member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    I think I'd add some lower-priced items about a week before your shower (and keep adding during the week because many people shop on their way) and then after that not worry about it.  You're right that it's really nice of her, but I can also see how this could pose a problem for you.  I don't know if there's any good way to ask her to stop - but you DO need some lower end items for the shower, so maybe hold out until then to add things.
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  • egm900egm900 member
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_i-dont-know-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:3ed077f0-2d39-4bed-98d2-b562d5ad85e7Post:1405b192-e126-4f46-abc3-81426bf667b3">Re: I don't know what to do!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think I'd add some lower-priced items about a week before your shower (and keep adding during the week because many people shop on their way) and then after that not worry about it.  You're right that it's really nice of her, but I can also see how this could pose a problem for you.  I don't know if there's any good way to ask her to stop - but you DO need some lower end items for the shower, so maybe hold out until then to add things.
    Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I agree with this.  Since showers are almost exclusively gifts, and not cash or gift card, you're going to need a variety of the lower priced items.  I would try to think of some things that it might be nice to have duplicates of (we got a serving bowl for our e-party that I use constantly so we added another to our registry) or things that will wear out (like kitchen towels).

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  • librababylibrababy
    500 Comments
    I wouldn't stress over this.  And don't say anything to her... she must feel so great doing this for you, just let her. 

    However, wait until near your shower like a week or so to add lower priced items so there are options for guests.  However, I wouldn't worry too much about it.
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  • rlavachrlavach member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    In all seriousness, this is NOT a problem. You're getting the gifts you asked for. Whether they're from her or from other guests doesn't matter. I wouldn't add more items unless those items are things you actually want & not just filler items. You won't look gift-grabby because you DID have lower priced items. They were just bought before the other guests got there. If they don't find something in your price range, many will just give you a gift card to the store. That's a pretty good deal to me. 

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  • kaos16kaos16 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_i-dont-know-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:3ed077f0-2d39-4bed-98d2-b562d5ad85e7Post:b5ff5068-fc17-4f07-89c4-33a71b23a4b8">Re: I don't know what to do!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In all seriousness, this is NOT a problem. You're getting the gifts you asked for. Whether they're from her or from other guests doesn't matter. I wouldn't add more items unless those items are things you actually want & not just filler items. You won't look gift-grabby because you DID have lower priced items. They were just bought before the other guests got there. If they don't find something in your price range, many will just give you a gift card to the store. That's a pretty good deal to me. 
    Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, the only issue with that is she is buying everything from the outlet where she works, so it doesn't show up as puchased on the registry.  We have to take it off in it's entirety.  I feel like it's starting to look like there is nothing at low price points.  I think I would prefer if it came up as purchased but still showed.
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  • racholasracholas member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Assuming you're registered at a major department store, just leave the items on the registry and return duplicates later.  Guests will be able to spend at a comfortable price point, and presumably will never know.  You'll be grateful to have store credit to help you purchase some of the larger items - or useful items you forgot to register for - at a later time.
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  • kaos16kaos16 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_i-dont-know-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:3ed077f0-2d39-4bed-98d2-b562d5ad85e7Post:434cee90-7095-45ef-8203-cdb4e962f858">Re: I don't know what to do!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Assuming you're registered at a major department store, just leave the items on the registry and return duplicates later.  Guests will be able to spend at a comfortable price point, and presumably will never know.  You'll be grateful to have store credit to help you purchase some of the larger items - or useful items you forgot to register for - at a later time.
    Posted by racholas[/QUOTE]

    I didn't even think of that. . . . it's a good point though.  It's Williams Sonoma. . . . I imagine they are "major" enough where we'd be able to make use of a good retun/exchange policy.
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  • racholasracholas member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_i-dont-know-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:3ed077f0-2d39-4bed-98d2-b562d5ad85e7Post:c31dff98-9a3c-4286-846d-2cfaab120088">Re: I don't know what to do!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I don't know what to do!!! : I didn't even think of that. . . . it's a good point though.  <strong>It's Williams Sonoma. . . . I imagine they are "major" enough where we'd be able to make use of a good retun/exchange policy.</strong>
    Posted by kaos16[/QUOTE]

    They are fantastic about returns (assuming it's somewhat obvious it was a registry gift, or that it's something they carry) and are really used to couples returning wedding gifts.  I returned $1300 worth of stuff (so I could buy some of the larger items) with zero hassel.  I would save the credit and use it after your wedding day to buy everything with your 10% off completion discount.  Also, their credit - but not the 10% discount - is good at all of the company's stores (WS Home, Pottery Barn, etc.)

    Lucky you!  What I wouldn't give to have an extra several hundred dollars to spend at my favorite cooking store!
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