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What would you do?

TerraandSteveTerraandSteve
First Comment
in Ohio-Columbus
Hi Ladies.  I have a dilemma and I need some advice.  My bridal shower is at the end of the month.  It is being held at an off-site location that my company owns (that's how wee got a huge discount).  Anyway I work in a department that has 2 designers, 2 technicians and a manager.  The problem is I want to invite our female technician and my designer counterpart but not our manager.  Our manager really doesn't like me (based on some off color things she has said it seems to stem from race and educational level).  I really want to invite the other 2 ladies because I am close to them but would rather not invite the manager because her issues are really for HR to deal with and I don't want her ruining my shower with her hatred.  I also don't feel that I can properly explain to the other ladies that they got an invite and she hasn't since it is an HR issue.  But I know that the manager will make a big stink if she finds out the other 2 got invitations and she did not (she likes to gossip about things outside of work and talk down about people.  So any advice would be much appreciated.
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Re: What would you do?

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Co-workers are the exception to the rule. I think it is perfectly fine to invite the 2 ladies and not your manager.

    If they ask, just tell them you aren't really close with her. They don't need to know details. And I am sure you already do, but just don't talk about wedding related things at work. If someone starts talking about the wedding, change the subject or tell them we already have that taken care of. Or you can always tell them you don't know especially if it is in regards to the shower since you are not throwing it yourself obviously.

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    nnoble4nnoble4
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would probably also let the two you are inviting know that she isn't invited so they don't start discussing it with her. I would take each aside and talk to them privately, and basiclly say what Missy said, you feel close enough to them to invite them to your intimate shower, but you do not feel close enough to the manager to invite her.
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    MissOwlMissOwl
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You can definitely invite your two work friends and not invite your manager. It is perfectly acceptable to only invite those whom you are close to.
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    KellyRVTKellyRVT member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would invite the 2 you like and leave the manager out. Maybe she will get the hint :)
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    TerraandSteveTerraandSteve
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This is excellent advice ladies. It makes me feel a lot better about only inviting the 2 co-workers.  Whew it's a huge weight off of my shoulders :-)  Thanks for the support Laughing
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    MrandMrsHoaglandMrandMrsHoagland
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    oooo MissOwl... love the shoes!
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