The Groom and the Dress?

brittnicole85 · August 2012

Hi everyone! The other day my fiancee and I were looking over wedding stuff and I got excited and showed him a picture of the idea of a dress I liked because I wanted his approval/thoughts. I didn't show him the actual dress (I haven't tried any on yet) but some people fussed at me for showing him! I don't want him to see the dress before the wedding but I did want his input in case he had something completely different in mind. Any thoughts on that, should I try to go for another look to keep the complete element of surprise? Thanks!

monkeysip · August 2012

I think showing a few pictures of ideas is OK. The groom seeing the bride for the first time on the wedding day is not just about the dress but the whole look. Showing him a picture of a dress similar to one you want to buy, worn by some model in a photo, will look SO different from what YOU will look like in your exact dress on the wedding day, you know? He'll still be really surprised by how you look.

Avion22 · August 2012

Unless your husband is a fashion expert, he probably won't remember the key features of the dresses you show him, and they will all look MUCH different on you than in the pictures. Even if you showed him a pictures of a dress and he said he didn't like it, and you walked down the aisle in that dress a year from now, he'd still think you were the most beautiful bride he'd ever seen:-) Guys just don't tend to remember details like that.

coopsbaby · August 2012

Well, I wouldn't stress about it. If you don't care if he's seen it, what does it matter?

I've been showing fi dress photos all along, and once I get the dress I plan to let him see me wearing it as well. It's just not a big deal for me to not let him see it, and he wants to, so I'm going with it. Of course it will still look different on the wedding day with my hair and makeup done, jewelry on, etc.

calliopeia2013 · August 2012

*shrug*

My FI went dress shopping with me. He pretty much picked out my dress. (I had it down to two and couldn't make up my mind; he made the final decision.) A lot of people fuss at me for it when they first hear about it. I pretty much just tell them, "Hey, we did what was right for us," and I've never not had anyone back off after that.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm not a big believer in the surprise thing.

UberBiz · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_the-groom-and-the-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:258e456d-9524-4fe6-86a6-c3542ea66933Post:c9d3ab71-d145-4911-b700-10c3450e0ea2">Re: The Groom and the Dress?</a>:
[QUOTE]Unless your husband is a fashion expert, he probably won't remember the key features of the dresses you show him, and they will all look MUCH different on you than in the pictures. <strong> Even if you showed him a pictures of a dress and he said he didn't like it, and you walked down the aisle in that dress a year from now, he'd still think you were the most beautiful bride he'd ever seen:-) </strong> Guys just don't tend to remember details like that.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]
LoL. This. Even if I showed FI a dress and he didn't particularly "like" it, he'd still say "I'm sure anything you wear will look fabulous on you." :)

Tabbie11 · August 2012

I had dresses up on the computer chatting one day to a friend at home and he happened to walk in being nosy. I showed him a few pics an asked for his opinion as to what he'd like to see me in. I see nothing wrong with this, I want to look good for him an he like what I'm wearing.
Now that I have my dress, I refuse to show him and he nags at me constantly about it. I was afraid that he'd already have an idea but appears to have No Clue. Not that I am superstitious, but I think the anticipation is part of the exitement, that an I dont want his opinion now that I have it in case he says something poor about it because its not the whole pkg. I want his true opinion on our wedding day and I want to Wow him.
So if you don't want him to know the exact dress, I wouldn't worry about, he probably doesnt remember what he saw. Although he watched say yes to the dress w/me last week all night, I think he was hoping I'd crack.

HobokensFury · August 2012

DH knew exactly what dress I wanted on the day I went shopping. When I got home he asked if I got it and. Said yes and that was the end of it.

utterrandomness · August 2012

We're doing a two dress wedding, and it's really important to us that our dresses work well together, after having seen so many pictures of same-sex/two dress weddings where the dresses really don't work. We will have seen each other's dresses before the wedding, though not the whole look. I agree with one of the PP that it will still be magical on the day of your wedding, even if he has seen the dress before.

pretzelgrrl · August 2012

I showed my fiance pictures of several dresses to figure out what styles/elements he hated (found out he didn't like mermaid or anything too crazy) and which ones he liked. I did not show him the picture of my dress or tell him anything about it except I was adding sleeves which he figured since I hate my arms and complained about all the strapless dresses.

theponz512 · August 2012

I constantly show my FI pictures of ideas I have. He is fine with this, even though he is extremely adamant about not seeing me until the day of. Basically it comes down to what you guys want. If he is comfortable and so are you, then carry on!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2012

I was really excited when I bought my dress and I sawed my FI a picture of it. He promptly forgot what it looked like.

When we were taking dancing lessons and the instructor asked what style of dress I had - full/ballgown or more of a sheath type - a blank stare came over his face.

M&MJK · August 2012

My FI didn't mind looking at magazine pictures of what I had in mind, but he told me he did not want to see any pictures of dresses I had tried on or of my final selection as he wanted to be surprised. He will see me before the ceremony though since we will probably have to do all the pictures before.

soontobehasrouni · August 2012

ive shown my fiances all my dresses. He was the reason i ended up buying the one i did. he saw it and said "thats you". im not superstious and i figure he will forget by the time the wedding comes. plus, its only the dress. he wont see your hair, makeup, radiance, etc until the day of. if YOU wnna show him do it!

\

ohnoitskaroljo · August 2012

It's a very silly tradition!!!

Here's the origination of this tradition:

When marriages were arranged by family members, the newlyweds very rarely were allowed to see one another. Family members exchanging a dowry were afraid that if the Groom didn't like the appearance of the Bride's face, he might refuse to marry her. This is why the Father of the Bride "gave the Bride away" to the Groom at the actual wedding ceremony. Only after lifting her veil just prior to the ceremony did the Groom see the Bride's face for the first time! Early Greek and Roman Brides wore red or yellow veils to represent fire, and to ward off demons.

whitney37354 · August 2012

DH went with my mom & me when I got my dress. I don't see the big deal about the groom not knowing what the dress looks like. He probably won't care what the dress looks like as long as you are the one in it.

mbrischoux · August 2012

I was really torn between two dresses, but I didn't think my husband would have liked either one. I mean, I was so upset trying to decide. I wanted to show him the pictures so he could at least help me decide so that, when he saw me on the day, he would think I was beautiful. He refused, because he wanted to see the dress on the day of the wedding. Even after I picked my dress, I stressed that he wouldn't like it - he refused to go to the fittings.

And you know, even though he said I looked beauiful on the day of the wedding, he can't remember anything about the dress except the fact that it was white.

If you want your fiance to see the dresses you are thinking of, go for it. That's between you two, and if it saves you the stress I felt when worrying that he won't like the dress, that's even better.

LaDivaBride · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_the-groom-and-the-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:258e456d-9524-4fe6-86a6-c3542ea66933Post:c9d3ab71-d145-4911-b700-10c3450e0ea2">Re: The Groom and the Dress?</a>:
[QUOTE]Unless your husband is a fashion expert, he probably won't remember the key features of the dresses you show him, and they will all look MUCH different on you than in the pictures. Even if you showed him a pictures of a dress and he said he didn't like it, and you walked down the aisle in that dress a year from now, he'd still think you were the most beautiful bride he'd ever seen:-) Guys just don't tend to remember details like that.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

I agree. I showed Dee LOTS of dress pics, including some very similar to the one I chose. He astually didn't like the pick-ups. He said they were ugly, lol. But when he saw me walking down the aisle, he was staring at me with a HUGE smile on his face. He kept telling me how much he loved my dress and the way it looked on me. Guys just listen to what we say so they won't get yelled at. They don't know anything about wedding gowns.

mnwatson1 · September 2012

FI and I went dress shopping together, after I had narrowed down what I wanted with my MoH. As it turned out, he was able to pinpoint the very things I liked most about the different dresses I was torn between, and I asked the saleswoman if they had anything that combined all of those elements. She came back with a couple of dresses, one of which I hated, and the other that my FI said looked "too Cinderella-y." *LOL* I told him I was trying it on anyway, and guess what? It was THE dress. I NEVER would have found it without him! He doesn't want to see me in it on our wedding day until I'm walking down the aisle to him though. It'll be a much different experience then, as well, since I will have my makeup on and my hair done and everything.

I don't see the problem with it, regardless of what you choose.

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