What to do with distance?

Re: What to do with distance?

• AdeleDazeem member

  

  June 2011 edited December 2011

  Is she asking "all your friends live in KY, I live in VA and have never met them, what do you want to do about your shower and bachelorette party?"
  
  Or, are YOU saying "All my friends are here, she's there and can't do anything.  How do I get my parties?"
  
  They are two very different questions.
  
  If it is the first one, I would tell my MOH the names of some friends in KY that you'd like to include and let them work out the details of what parties are where and who is hosting what. 
  
  If your MOH can't travel to KY, doesn't want to host a party she can't attend, and no one from KY offers to throw them, then you won't have anything.  It's completely fine - these pre wedding parties are optional and should be considered a gift, not a right.

  
  

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• regfalange

  

  June 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_distance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:6a56204b-b563-4293-9359-7a163dc0c5b5Post:b79154ac-a5e1-4196-9668-6c79808aa705">What to do with distance?</a>:
  [QUOTE]My fiance and I are getting married in KY shortly after graduation from college there next Spring.  My MOH, who's been my BF since middle school lives in VA (where I'm from), and I'm not sure how she can do some of the traditional MOH duties long distance.  She wont be in KY until the week of the wedding.  As far as planning showers and bachelorette parties, most of my friends are from college in KY and she's never even met them.  <strong>I know she wants to plan a pre-wedding party (shower, bechelorette, or something of the sort)</strong>, but logistics make it complicated.  Could she plan something for Christmas break with my friends from high school days, and then let someone in KY plan something for the college group of frinds?
  Posted by MaryCW2[/QUOTE]
  
  I could have told you the first response was going to be "your MOH doesn't have any duties other than showing up and looking nice".  But you said she wanted to, so that's good you threw that in there.  I swear everyone's favorite responses are "no one has to throw you any parties"  "they have no other duties" and "have the wedding you can afford if no one is giving you money"  Someone should just put a big fat message on the top of every board saying that that is going to be your response to these questions 90% of the time.  Sorry, it annoys me.
  
  My advice would be to ask her what/when she wants to do things.  Talk it over with your other BM's exchange email addresses and tell them your MOH will be in touch.  There's no reason why they can't contact each other if they don't know each other.  They all have something in common and that's you, and she could tell them what she wants, see if someone where you are that wants to help her and check things out in the area.  Also, maybe have her talk to your mom??  Mom's are usually good with this stuff and can help getting things running and usually know all the girls.  It can be done.  Deep breaths.  Good luck!

  Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain....

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• LoveMuffins member

  

  June 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_distance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:6a56204b-b563-4293-9359-7a163dc0c5b5Post:d7e0437c-9157-44f7-b10d-4ed7331f7606">Re: What to do with distance?</a>:
  [QUOTE]Her duty is to get her attired and show up. The parties are optional gifts that anyone who offers can throw...and you should wait until someone does.
  Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
  
  Did you even read the post? It says the girl WANTS to throw something and OP is just trying to figure out what would be easiest / appropriate for her to throw.
  
  OP she can throw either a shower or a bachlorette party, or even just a girls night celebration, as long as there are others in the area who will also be wedding guests to be invited to the event. you just have to make sure that anyone invited to the event she throws is also invited to the wedding and you're good to go!

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