Almost a check... BUT NO!

CowgirlK39 · March 2012

I planned all week to go to our ceremony site and take pics and gather more ideas. I switched my shifts with a coworker so I would be off on friday, when it was really lovely outside. So I called the farm we are getting married at, and the farmer's elderly mother picked up. Even though I have met her many times, even played cards with her, she had NO idea what I was talking about. I re-explained who I was, and what was going on, and she had no clue. She said her son (the farmer who owns the place) was not home and wasn't sure when he would be.

These people are long time friends with my FI. He basically grew up at this farm, hangin out with one of the kids. I texted FI's friend and asked if his dad (the farmer) had a cell #. He said it was recently changed and he didn't have the new one, but told me to call his brother and ask him. So I did and all the brother did was write my number down and said that his dad would call me later. I didn't get a call all weekend.

So I am rather frustrated. We need to sit down with these people and work something out so that I don't constantly have to go thru this goose chase each time I need to stop by and look at some stuff. The worst part is that these are friends of my FI's, not mine. But he is a procrastinator and so I had to take over making calls. Now I have to explain in detail who I am and what I want each time I call.

Suggestions? What sort of agreement should I work out so I can avoid this stuff? I don't just wanna say "Hey can I stop by whenever so I can get crap done" but I really need access or at least some kind of window when I can do things! But no one will talk to me!

volleygurl0306 · March 2012

I would recommend just calling every so often until you can get the farmer. His son probably never even gave him the message because he's a boy for 1 and depending on how old he is is probably forgetful. The farmer's mom's age obviously is affecting her memory....so she also won't notice if you call 6 times a day. Once you get a hold of him, ask him the best way to reach him when you need something. This makes you more accommodating. Perhaps he prefers emails. Also, they probably think it is early (which there is plenty of time) to have to respond to you quickly. I'd explain what you are trying to do and by when. Do they frequently host weddings? If not, you should have recognized this liability when you decided to have your wedding there because their business isn't customer service, it is farming. I don't mean to sound harsh but your wedding probably isn't their highest priority with a farm to run. I think you just keep trying until you get him and then have an open conversation about the best ways to communicate and get a response.

smartlypretty · March 2012

That's really annoying

I second just keep calling. Would it be weird or innapropriate for you and FI to drop by on like Saturday afternoon? FI would know them the best to decide if this is okay.

CowgirlK39 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_almost-a-check-but-no?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:88bedfc9-a16d-4b2b-8dc2-3ae70bb42202Post:d295389e-48f4-4fe6-9609-4989fe470443">Re: Almost a check... BUT NO!</a>:
[QUOTE]I would recommend just calling every so often until you can get the farmer. His son probably never even gave him the message because he's a boy for 1 and depending on how old he is is probably forgetful. The farmer's mom's age obviously is affecting her memory....so she also won't notice if you call 6 times a day. Once you get a hold of him, ask him the best way to reach him when you need something. This makes you more accommodating. Perhaps he prefers emails. Also, they probably think it is early (which there is plenty of time) to have to respond to you quickly. I'd explain what you are trying to do and by when. Do they frequently host weddings? If not, you should have recognized this liability when you decided to have your wedding there because their business isn't customer service, it is farming. I don't mean to sound harsh but your wedding probably isn't their highest priority with a farm to run. I think you just keep trying until you get him and then have an open conversation about the best ways to communicate and get a response.
Posted by volleygurl0306[/QUOTE]

They don't ever host weddings, but when FI talked to the farmer he was ok with it, especially since he knows my FI so well. I gave the old lady a pass because of her age... Im not mad at her, just kinda shocked. We know that it is early yet but we want to get things going before the spring because it will be planting season and we know we won't be able to find him then. I also wanted to work up a contract of sorts with him to cover things just like this, so I don't show up to begin setting up for our wedding and have him tell us to get lost. I know our wedding isn't a priority for them, and I don't expect it to be, but a call back or something would have been nice, ya know?

I told FI I am giving them one more chance and if the same thing happens I am going to start looking for other venues (I have one in mind). I'm so ready to just give up on all of this!

volleygurl0306 · March 2012

Wanting to get ahead makes complete sense since they are about to hit busy season. I think getting something in writing should be a top priority. And, you are smart to be open-minded with a back up plan. Good luck! Keep us posted

bridalmomma · March 2012

I think I would have to make FI man up and get in touch with the farmer friend. If he's not willing to do that then I would just tell him it's going to cost more money as you will be renting a different venue! With only 6/7 months left it wouldn't be worth my stress level to not be able to finish my planning!!

Almost a check... BUT NO!

Re: Almost a check... BUT NO!

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