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Use bridal shower to help my sister fly home??

kellyharoldkellyharold member
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in Pre-wedding Parties
My sister lives in China and she's pregnant (due in May) and my wedding will be late June/early July (not sure yet). She's not sure if she'll be able to come because money's going to be tight, and flying to the US from China is expensive.

I'm considering using my bridal shower to raise money for her plane ticket home. Guests would just give monetary gifts towards her ticket instead of buying me a gift. What do you think??
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Re: Use bridal shower to help my sister fly home??

  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_use-bridal-shower-sister-fly-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:4868e4b3-a145-4ef7-831f-e8e8053512b7Post:683e6b48-4b3d-47e6-abae-aa3bd7ce4f22">Use bridal shower to help my sister fly home??</a>:
    [QUOTE]My sister lives in China and she's pregnant (due in May) and my wedding will be late June/early July (not sure yet). She's not sure if she'll be able to come because money's going to be tight, and flying to the US from China is expensive. I'm considering using my bridal shower to raise money for her plane ticket home. Guests would just give monetary gifts towards her ticket instead of buying me a gift. What do you think??
    Posted by kellyharold[/QUOTE]

    Bad idea.  Horribly bad.

    I understand that your heart is in the right place but:
    1) Your guests may want zero part in paying for your sister's plane ticket.  They may want to attend a shower to see you open gifts - not to count up what will be dollar value donations.  There are probably only a few people that would support this idea  - and many will talk about it behind your back.

    2) Then your shower isn't a shower - it's a fundraiser for your sister.

    3) What if you don't raise enough for her plane ticket?  Then what do you say to all those guests regarding where their money went?

    4) What if your sister does not want to be the recipient of charity?

    5) What about the shower guests who don't even know your sister??  They're to be expected to give cash because you asked them to?

    6) Some people don't like giving cash - they want to give a tangible gift that will help you and your husband start a life together.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Absolutely not. 



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  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No. That completely defeats the point of a bridal shower: to shower the bride with gifts. 

    Banana brings up a lot of great points on why people would probably feel uncomfortable with that situation. If you want to be able to fly your sister to your wedding cut back on wedding expenses (flowers, DJ, etc) to make up the difference somewhere else. Don't ask other people to help you do it. 
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_use-bridal-shower-sister-fly-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:4868e4b3-a145-4ef7-831f-e8e8053512b7Post:683e6b48-4b3d-47e6-abae-aa3bd7ce4f22">Use bridal shower to help my sister fly home??</a>:
    [QUOTE]My sister lives in China and she's pregnant (due in May) and my wedding will be late June/early July (not sure yet). She's not sure if she'll be able to come because money's going to be tight, and flying to the US from China is expensive. I'm considering using my bridal shower to raise money for her plane ticket home. Guests would just give monetary gifts towards her ticket instead of buying me a gift. What do you think??
    Posted by kellyharold[/QUOTE]
    Whoa, a bridal shower should not be used as a fundraising event for the bride's siblings.
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  • LauraChristinLauraChristin member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If I were your sister I wouldnt be up to flying internationally a few weeks after giving birth anyway and certainly not with a newborn. I agree with the PPs that your intentions sound good but it's not the best plan.
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  • Jana711Jana711
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    That is absolutely horrible and such a bad idea.  Please don't do that, your guests will likely not appreciate that.
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  • Joker1628Joker1628 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A wedding shower is not the right place for this... actually, I can't think of a right place for this. There's no real acceptable way to "raise money" for your sister to fly home. I understand where youre coming form, my sister and FI's brother are both out of state. Our parents are helping pay their way to our wedding. 
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