Interracial Weddings

Meshing the Families!

My FI and I couldn't be more different if we tried...he's Irish/Italian and I was born and raised in Barbados.

Our families have very different ideas of what consitutues the perfect wedding - what we do have in common is that we all drink!

It's been the foundation of their successful relationships from day one since they started sizing each other up at the engagement party. The wine and rum started flowing and next thing we know, they're taking vacations together.

What brings your families and backgrounds together?
Do the families get along?
Do you still get the sideways glance sometimes when new family members see you in a mixed race couple?

Vacation White Knot

Re: Meshing the Families!

  • edited January 2012
    FI is a whole lotta everything (Irish, French, etc) and I'm from the Caribbean too (Virgin Islands)!!!

    Our families have not met, and the wedding will be the first interaction between the two sides.  Well, my father has met his parents, he just happened to have a trip to Upstate NY and FI and I coordinated a dinner for them.  I wasn't even present, I was living in NC at the time (we started out a long-distance relationship).  FI sent me pictures, I was so bummed I wasn't there!

    Our sides don't have anything in common except that FI and I are together.  It was a big curveball, as FI's family didn't even KNOW any black people, and the only whites my family knew were work colleagues, not even friends.  There are other differences too, like FI's family are rural, we are more comfortable in an urban setting.  Not too many children for FI's family; my family are like bunny rabbits (children everywhere!), his family is older, mine, younger.  They are not that close with other relatives, whereas every Sunday at my family's home looks like Thanksgiving and my closest friends are my cousins.

    But, despite all differences, his family loves me, and I love them too.  They have always treated me like a member of the family.  My family was weird at first, but now everyone's all excited for the wedding!  My aunt loves when we come to visit!

  • Thanks for sharing!

    I know the feeling too because when we go to his family reunion around Thanksgiving of about 200 people there are 2 minorities there - me and his uncle's wife (who are black) and his cousin's fiance (who is hispanic) so the integration is happening, but it's still early.

    I love the family too; they're wonderful people!
    Vacation White Knot
  • What brings your families and backgrounds together?
     
    Both our families are from Philadelphia, FI's from South and mine from North and now both live in South Jersey so they share that transition from city life to suburban.Both families are very laid back and tight knit and love to have a good time.

    Do the families get along?

    Our families get along well but haven't been around each other as much as I'd like. During the holidays we visit both families but haven't brought them together yet, we are hoping this year we will have Christmas together at our home.

    Do you still get the sideways glance sometimes when new family members see you in a mixed race couple? 

     So far I have only experienced this once with FI's distant aunt who must not have been given the memo that I was black because when we were introduced her and her husband had a puzzled look on their faces lol. Other than that both our families are happy and welcomed both of us as a member. We have noticed more of the sideways looks from people who don't know us personally.
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  • 7E, that's awesome and happened to me with FI grandmother when she was alive. I think she was pretty puzzled when she saw me too!

    I'm really glad that the families get along because so often we hear about the families that just nag and bicker and push everybody away. I'm glad this is a good experience for you both!
    Vacation White Knot
  • What brings your families and backgrounds together?

    Us getting hitched has brought our families together. They really haven't hung out very much. My mother and his mom just met this past weekend and honestly it went very well.

    Do the families get along?

    So far our mom's get along well. And I think his dad will get along well with my brothers (there are 6 of them). They have a similar mindset on politics and life so that will help!

    Do you still get the sideways glance sometimes when new family members see you in a mixed race couple? His family is very welcoming and sweet but there is still somewhat of a wall up.but mainly due to the last chic he was with. She completely broke his heart and they thought she was the one:/
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