Plus ones B list

twohollydays · April 2011

I have on a fire proof suit to fend off the flames ladies. LOL

We are at capacity for our budget but not out venue. My SO "forgot" plus ones for a few of his guests who are in relationships AND a relative. I showed him our FINAL list 10 times and he is just realizing the omissions.

Im thinking that when they call and asks about dates I will let the person know our situation and that once our totals are in I will call them back and let them know if we have space.

Is that a good way to handle this? We sucked up the relative he forgot but I count on 100% attendance so Im not overinviting.

nurse.misty · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_plus-ones-b-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a5e1059f-8fc2-48fa-817b-259fa167ab36Post:6ea6d9b5-fc01-402d-acc5-776cfe66619c">Re: Plus ones B list</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Plus ones B list : I don't think this is the best way to go. These SOs need to be invited and not told to wait. I would try to find money in other places of the budget. Cut out favors. Cheaper flowers. Something like that. And if people do end up RSVPing 'no', you can add those things back in.
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

Agree with this. It is not the guests fault the error was made, and they shouldn't be the one punished for it. Invite the SO's and find something else to save money on.

baystateapple · April 2011

You have to invite SOs. Ditto Cfas, cut out anything you can to make room for the SOs, then add stuff back if they RSVP no.

twohollydays · April 2011

thanks I just wanted to get opinions.

twohollydays · April 2011

Budget wise we went with the bare minimum and hoped to upgrade based on attendance. We havent sent the invitations out yet but Im very concerned about the size of the list also.

NOLAbridealmost · April 2011

By the way, I don't think people will flame you too badly; it seems like you have your heart in the right place and FI just didn't realize these people were in relationships (or didn't know that it mattered for etiquette purposes).

There's nothing wrong with being concerned about your bottom line, but a B list is not the way to do it. PPs who suggested scaling other things back are right. (But in reality, assuming you're only dealing with a few extra people, you'll probably have some "No's" and this won't end up being a big deal).

NOLAbridealmost · April 2011

Oh, what? Invites haven't gone out yet?

Cut some people.

twohollydays · April 2011

We sent save the dates. Im thinking about cutting some people who we didnt send a save the date to.

LDYGTR13 · April 2011

Yes, good idea. Obviously you understand the concept of STD = invite. I agree, cut non-STD receivers. My H did the same thing lol. Boys just don't get it lol

HandBanana · April 2011

I agree with pp about cutting guests that didn't receive std and cutting on flowers or some other big cost.

Just to reassure you, we were in a similar situation. we are now waaaaaay under budget. 260 invited, 180 are coming. You will be fine. You may not have such an extreme number of people not come but there is always a certain percentage of people that say no. Do not count on it in your budget though.

jcamm11 · April 2011

If you haven't sent out invites yet, cut some of the other guests to allow for social units to stick together (unless they've all gotten save the dates). Not that I support B listing, but if you're going to do it anyways it would be better to B list couples and not s/o's

strlzfan11 · April 2011

I agree with the PPs, but didn't you just ask about this YESTERDAY with different wording?

twohollydays · April 2011

Okay, I just a a firm believer in not over inviting or counting on a certain number of "no's" so that things will workout. We invited what we could afford, are counting on 100% yes, and not trying to commit any major etiquette faux paux in the process. LOL

mkrupar · April 2011

Sounds like you've got a plan. See who you can cut who didn't get a STD to accommodate the couples. Glad you're not overinviting and don't want to B list people.

twohollydays · April 2011

Im not bashing ladies with bigger budgets but since we are on a budget Im very mindful of sticky situations. No Facebook, no courtesy invites, no wedding talk at work or to anyone who isnt invited (casual talk to people who know they arent invited because it's a small affair I think is okay), and no over inviting. Knowing that I have X amount of money to do this has made me very careful and I just check on here to make sure things wont insult our guests.

Ive scaled everything down to what we can afford so I cannot make any cuts in the budget to squeeze in more guests. If we end up with space Ill upgrade.

Plus ones B list

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