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Moms and Maids

Flower girl mom trouble

one of my bridesmaids ( who is also my flower girl's mom) has gotten on my last nerve!  She asked me if she could bring her daughter who is 4 years old to the wedding.  I told her the only way she could bring her is if she is the flower girl ( which i did not have at the time)  because it really is an adult wedding.  All along I thought I was doing HER a favor because it seemed as though she wanted her daughter to come.   the first fitting her daughter refused to try on dresses so she didnt get one then.  The other day her mom called and said she would want to go on wed to look at bridesmaid dresses at alfred angelo.   She then cancelled on me tuesday night, after i had made the appt. for wed.  She said she had to help her sister with something. She rescheduled for next Wed for alfred angelo which is only 10 mins from us both. I had told her before I was already busy that day b/c I have my first hair trial for the wedding that day, but I agreed that we could go at 6pm since it is only 10 mins away. Today she called me up and said that she was looking online at dresses at davids bridal which is about an hr from us and she wants to go there because they are cheaper.  She is saying that they are on a tight budget now because they have been kind of strapped .  Fine, i understand, things happen. She wants to go on wed. to davids bridal.!  I am getting very frustrated and would LOVE to tell her that the only reason why I said her daughter could be in the wedding was to help them out by not having to find a babysitter for 2 days, etc.. now I feel like the whole thing is just being a big inconvenience for us both.  Her: Money Mine: my time, money, etc.  
Am I being too harsh?  Should I have " the talk " with her.  What do I say??

Re: Flower girl mom trouble

  • edited December 2011
    By all means, have 'the talk' with all of your BMs. By 'the talk,' I mean you should ask each bm, privately what their budget is for her bm dress.

    Then you can probably do some pre-shopping. Choose several dresses within the lowest price range for the bms to look at. Let them know you will be at X salon at  X time and date, if they would like to help with the final selection. Make the choice with whoever shows, and then give the others the information. The bms who don't show up for shopping can go whenever it is convenient to order the dress you have chosen.

    Now for the fg. Four year olds grow quickly, so it might be too early to buy a dress for her. Tell her mom she may buy a dress in X color or with X accents to coordinate with your wedding party. The mom has been dressing the little girl for four years, so she should be able to handle that. And you won't have to deal with a four year old who doesn't enjoy trying on dresses.

    Good luck.
                       
  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_flower-girl-mom-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:cc4bc6fc-394e-4b65-b385-c2c7d05f1ab6Post:81a53168-a3e4-4e72-9d59-272533efa1c4">Flower girl mom trouble</a>:
    [QUOTE]one of my bridesmaids ( who is also my flower girl's mom) has gotten on my last nerve!  She asked me if she could bring her daughter who is 4 years old to the wedding.  I told her the only way she could bring her is if she is the flower girl ( which i did not have at the time)  because it really is an adult wedding.  All along I thought I was doing HER a favor because it seemed as though she wanted her daughter to come.   the first fitting her daughter refused to try on dresses so she didnt get one then.  The other day her mom called and said she would want to go on wed to look at bridesmaid dresses at alfred angelo.   She then cancelled on me tuesday night, after i had made the appt. for wed.  She said she had to help her sister with something. She rescheduled for next Wed for alfred angelo which is only 10 mins from us both. I had told her before I was already busy that day b/c I have my first hair trial for the wedding that day, but I agreed that we could go at 6pm since it is only 10 mins away. Today she called me up and said that she was looking online at dresses at davids bridal which is about an hr from us and she wants to go there because they are cheaper.  She is saying that they are on a tight budget now because they have been kind of strapped .  Fine, i understand, things happen. She wants to go on wed. to davids bridal.!  I am getting very frustrated and would LOVE to tell her that the only reason why I said her daughter could be in the wedding was to help them out by not having to find a babysitter for 2 days, etc.. now I feel like the whole thing is just being a big inconvenience for us both.  Her: Money Mine: my time, money, etc.   Am I being too harsh?  Should I have " the talk " with her.  What do I say??
    Posted by MeganBM[/QUOTE]
  • phunluvin82phunluvin82 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Agree with MairePoppy...figure out a budget that the BMs are comfortable with and go shopping with whomever is available, otherwise you'll make yourself crazy.  If you can't make it to David's that day, then schedule a day when you can and give all your girls the info.  If they can't make it, then pass on the info of what dress they need to order (most places will start a file so that when the BM goes in, all she needs is the bride's name and they'll look up which dress it is), and when they need to order it by.

    I only had 3 BMs and we still couldn't get it together to all go shopping.  I went with one of them and we sent txt msg pics to the other 2 before making the final choice (not necessary...but just to make sure they didn't HATE it).  As for FG, I have 2...I chose the color and accent color and the rest is up to their mom and my FMIL (their Aunt). 

    Don't make it more complicated than it needs to be, and don't drive yourself crazy!
  • MeganBMMeganBM member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for all the suggestions- but All the BMS got their dresses-:)  its just the issue of the Flower girls mom is giving me a hard time
  • 8daysaweek8daysaweek member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    What kind of dress are you looking for for the flower girl? You cn find great dresses that are suitable for an FG at department stores this time of year for much less than the cost of a dress labeled as a flower girl dress.
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  • edited December 2011
    Try this: go to jcpenney.com  type Cinderella dress in the search bar. There are several adorable dresses there, priced from $29.99 up to $45.00. Much cheaper than David's bridal and just as pretty.

    Check your local department stores for Easter and first communion dresses. You can always add a colored sash if you don't like all white.

                       
  • edited December 2011

    I found my flowergirl dresses at www.flowergirlsdressforless.com I found a really cute dress plus I got free tax and shipping! It was only $40!

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