Need book recs

monkeysip · March 2013

Hello ladies!

FI and I are looking for recommendations for more practical books on Catholic marriage.

We don't need a book specifically for sexual teachings (we've already been reading a lot of Christopher West lately). Just anything you recommend for things like communication, problem solving, keeping God in the center, etc.

We haven't been getting much from marriage prep with our priest, unfortunately. So we'd like to read a little on our own to prepare.

Thank you!

Resa77 · March 2013

I don't have any recs, but I think it's awesome that you're putting such emphasis on marriage prep as opposed to just wedding prep! If I hear of any books that might fit your needs, I'll let you know.

monkeysip · March 2013

Thanks! Honestly, we've been so absorbed with wedding planning, it wasn't until the last month or two when it kind of hit me like, "omg I'm getting married in a few months... "

Not that FI and I don't have a strong and healthy relationship, but every couple, no matter how much in love, has problems and I just want to make sure that we did everything we could before getting married to help with that. Unfortunately, our priest so far has just kind of gone over some scriptures about marriage, and other ranty, unrelated issues.

He even said himself he's not very good at the more practical side of marriage prep, and recommended we take classes with the Cathedral here. But those classes are $300, which we don't have right now.

Resa77 · March 2013

Well, hopefully you'll find some good books to read together. Plus, you can always attend a marriage retreat down the road. My parents loved Marriage Encounter when they were younger, and I believe other ladies on this board have had good experiences with it, too.

agapecarrie · March 2013

Ask him if he knows any couples in the parish you can meet with.

The other thing is to read TOB with a different mindset. It is so unfortunate that it's been pegged and narrowed down to chastity and explanation for NFP.

It's so much bigger when dealing with the song of songs, and exploring EPH 5. How to serve each other. I heard it put well by the couple that was on the TOB panel I mentioned here a few weeks ago. She said.. I first entered marriage because "he makes me happy" and "what he can do for me". When my mindset is now changed to what can I give to him. When living that way every single day (and falling short every single day), the marriage takes a completely new turn.

lalaith50 · March 2013

THREE TO GET MARRIED!!!!!

By Fulton Sheen. While I *greatly* enjoy listening to any recordings of him, and his wit and enjoyable way of presenting things, I actually found the book a bit hard to get into, but once I was (maybe 1/3 of the way through?) then it was WONDERFUL. So, if you do decide to read it, don't be discouraged if you find it a bit bland at the beginning.

lalaith50 · March 2013

Also, while not explicitly Catholic, awhile ago I read the book "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas (what if God designed marriage to make us holy more than happy-- a very Catholic idea!) and I remember it being quite good. I intend to reread it at some point.

monkeysip · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_need-book-recs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:bca03226-9a8e-4de1-9105-0692907a061aPost:fe96f97d-f816-45ed-bccd-7edb2cd9e97f">Re: Need book recs</a>:
[QUOTE]Ask him if he knows any couples in the parish you can meet with. The other thing is to read TOB with a different mindset. It is so unfortunate that it's been pegged and narrowed down to chastity and explanation for NFP. It's so much bigger when dealing with the song of songs, and exploring EPH 5. How to serve each other. I heard it put well by the couple that was on the TOB panel I mentioned here a few weeks ago. She said.. I first entered marriage because "he makes me happy" and "what he can do for me". When my mindset is now changed to what can I give to him. When living that way every single day (and falling short every single day), the marriage takes a completely new turn.
Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]

Ahh, yes, I didn't mean to say that TOB is just about sexuality. You're right, it's really all about the meaning of marriage in general and selfless love and respect. I just want something that is more practically focused and from a different perspective.

Thanks for the recs, ladies! I love Fulton Sheen, so that sounds like a great choice!

Chloeagh · March 2013

I recently read "Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts." It was a really great book. There were times where I thought what they were saying was obvious, but it has some very good points and advice. The section on fighting fair has made me extremely aware of how I talk to FI when I'm upset and has really helped our relationship.

caitriona87 · March 2013

Another vote for Three to Get Married. And yes, if you can't get into it at first, PRESS ON.

jenjlgsings · March 2013

If you haven't read the Love Languages book, read one of the versions. they have it for singles, couples, males, females, etc. I read it a while ago and loved it. When my fiance and I first started dating, we read it together. A good tool to really get a sense of how each of you like to give and receive love.

For Better...Forever by Gregory Popcak

I second (or third or fourth lol) Three to Get Married.

This is the list that was provided in my Pre-Cana class. I have not read any, but they referenced a few of them during the classes:

The Proper care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger (my fiance's mom actually got me a copy, her and my SIL both love the book)

Love of a Lifetime - Dr. Dobson
Dare to Discipline - Dr. Dobson

Love and Respect - Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

His Needs Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage - WM Harley

Finding the Hero in Your Husband - Julie Slatery

Men are Like Waffles Women are Like Spaghetti: Understanding and Delighting in Your Differences - Bill and Pam Farrell

jenjlgsings · March 2013

Did you guys do a FOCUS test? If not, see if you can get one from your priest or another parish in the dioecese. It can lead to a lot of great conversations and really help you determine where you need to have more discussions and have more decisions made. We spent almost three hours with our priest talking about it. It was a great tool for us in general, but also in terms of him being able to provide us guidance,

monkeysip · March 2013

My priest hasn't done a Foccus test with us and hasn't mentioned one. We need to talk to him about whether we're going to meet anymore for marriage prep, so we'll ask him about that too!

And thanks for all the book recs! I'm sure we could always read a lot of these after the wedding if we don't have time before!

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