Pre-wedding Parties

Want to Get-Together with Out of Town Guests Day Before Wedding - Too Much?

Please help me decide on whether to do this or not - some of my family/friends think I am crazy and taking on too much. I am hoping that there might be ladies out there that tried &/or been through something like this.  Sorry in advance that this is so long.
Background: My daughter is getting married on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend.  Almost all of our guests (100 +) will be from out of state since my husband and I just relocated last summer due to a job transfer. So most guests will travel either Friday or Sat., and return home on Monday.  Some close family and WP will be here earlier in week.  Many of the guests, I haven't seen in months (even some friends that I talk to on the phone or email frequently, I haven't seen since last summer). My daughter is in another state in grad school and hasn't seen many relatives for even longer. 
So, I'd like to get together with them while they are down here, outside of the actual wedding. The wedding itself will be so busy, and more formal.  Since the rehearsal has to be at 10:00 am, due to the scheduling restrictions at the venue, the rehearsal dinner will really be a rehearsal luncheon. 
So, that would leave me the rest of the afternoon and evening.  I was thinking about asking people to come to an open-house type of event from either 3-5, for those who arrive early, or 7-9, for those who arrive later on Sat.  It would be at my new home.  I could put the informal invites in the Welcome Bags at the Hotels.  I was thinking of only serving light snacks and drinks (wine/beer). 
If roughly half come early, and the rest come later, it wouldn't be too crowded in the backyard.  I'm guessing that some guests may be too tired from traveling to come at all.  This would allow daughter and I to actually catch up with people and say more than just HI.
Does this sound workable?  
Would it be enough to serve only snacks?  I can't afford to feed everyone a full meal - plus that would mean formal invites to get head counts and I don't want to plan this out to that level!
Oh - my daughter has a wedding planner, so I shouldn't be rushing around doing too much on the day before, so that should help! (I know - famous last words - ha ha!)
Does this sound like I am taking on too much???
MOB - Relocated last summer. Daugher attending grad school out-of-state. So, it is a Destination Wedding for ALL but me and DH! Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Want to Get-Together with Out of Town Guests Day Before Wedding - Too Much?

  • edited December 2011
    I would either invite OOT guests to the rehearsal luncheon, move it to a rehearsal dinner so more OOT guests could come, or skip the day before thing. I don't think, as MOB, that you will want to throw another party (in addition to the RD) in your home the evening before the wedding. It would just be too much I think.
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  • edited December 2011
    Hi!  Congrats  :)

    You would definitely have to be a better woman than I am.  We were running around like crazy people.  And while I love my friends and family, I love my daughter more.  I wanted those hours with her and my other girls (her bridal party).  I sent my husband off to entertain the family (99% were his anyway).  After the rehearsal dinner my best friend from CA and her daughter came to the house and we got the stuff ready for the day after brunch.  I was WHIPPED!!!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the input ladies!
    rknox:  I wasn't kidding when I said almost all of the guests were OOT.  Except for 4 or 5 couples from my husband's work - the rest are ALL out of state (100+)!  So it is not possible to have them all to RD.  Otherwise, that would've been a good idea.  It is how my neice handled things last year when she got married.  There were about a dozen OOT guests, but she made all of us welcome at the RD! We had a great time!
    Muffin'sMom:  As great as that sounds to have one last evening with my daughter, instead of inviting friends & family over, the reality of it is that she's already having MOH and BMs (7 total) stay at the house to save them hotel expenses.  So the chance of us having any real time together will be slim. 
    And I figure the rest of the WP and grandparents, aunts & uncles & etc will be in & out & wanting to visit, so it will be a mad house anyway. Also, many of my friends & family will want to see my new house, since we just moved here.  So, if I put out an informal "it is OK to visit/drop by between the following hours" kind of thing, I figured I might actually be able to control the flow of traffic better, if you know what I mean?  I guess it will be crazy & stressful either way - I just wonder if it would be better to plan for it?
    MOB - Relocated last summer. Daugher attending grad school out-of-state. So, it is a Destination Wedding for ALL but me and DH! Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Over half our guest list are OOTers.  We are not inviting them to the RD (It would be like a family-only version of our wedding, and as nice as it would be to see everyone a little more, I don't need that kind of stress).  But for those who come down Thursday and will be in town that night, we are going to grab a casual dinner... sort of a "hey, we're having dinner here, if you feel like coming" type of thing.
  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    edited December 2011
    My Mom's putting together a brunch for the day after the wedding - why not do something like that? She's just getting a bunch of stuff from Costco and I think my aunt and grandmother are going to help her. It's super low key, plus the wedding is over so no stressing about getting everything done in time, etc. Also, that way people who are coming in on the day of the wedding won't be jet lagged / busy unpacking / feeling harried about going to see the family + getting ready for the evening, etc.
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  • edited December 2011
    Yeah - a brunch the day after would've been ideal, but apparently my daughter wasn't thinking of that when she & FI  arranged for their flight for honeymoon the very next morning.  Plus most of the guests will be traveling back the day after.  We planned wedding for the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend because we knew that  many of our guests, for various reasons, would have trouble getting much vacation time, as would the Bride & Groom themselves.  For example, many will be newly graduated & just starting new jobs (= no vaction built up yet). 

    Anyway, the majority of the guests are planning to travel either Fri night or Sat, and returning home on Monday.  There will be some close family left that we will have over to the house for a casual brunch, but I'm not making a big deal out of it, since B & G won't be there.

    DH & I have been discussing & think that we will either have people calling all day Sat, to see if it is OK to drop by, or we will have guests that want to call, but don't feel comfortable doing so, & they will wish they had been invited to drop by.  We kind of feel that since we just moved here, all of our old friends & family will want to see our new house & we should do "something". 

    Does it sound unreasonable if we just pick a time that is convenient to US to let them know when to come?  That way it might be more manageable?  Also, is it OK if we pick hours when they won't expect to be fed a large meal?  I was hoping light snacks would be OK?
    MOB - Relocated last summer. Daugher attending grad school out-of-state. So, it is a Destination Wedding for ALL but me and DH! Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    BTW - Love Muffins: I just love your quote about the skinny woman & cookies!
    Read it to DH last night & he got a big laugh out of it too!
    MOB - Relocated last summer. Daugher attending grad school out-of-state. So, it is a Destination Wedding for ALL but me and DH! Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Again - BTW - I can soooo relate! I shut mine up w/ ice cream! But I am trying to be better about that lately!
    MOB - Relocated last summer. Daugher attending grad school out-of-state. So, it is a Destination Wedding for ALL but me and DH! Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • redheadtmkredheadtmk member
    edited December 2011
    My only concern from your original post was including your daughter in the all day open house. It seems like too much to me to expect her to be there all day before her wedding. If I misinterpreted that I am sorry. I assume she is staying at your house with the BM's? In that case she could visit in the evening when she is done with last minute stuff. Beyond that I think if you put on the invite that light snacks will be provided, they will be ok with not being fed a meal. Most people will either be driving and eat at the appropriate times, or flying and eat before or after the plane lands. Wording it as an open house will make people feel comfortable coming by if they have the energy but not obligated to attend a pre wedding event. Sounds like a good plan to me! I know I always appreciate the extra time I get with people when I travel for a wedding. I am always happy to go no matter what, but the ones where I only get a few minutes with the happy couple and/or family and friends, always kinda bum me out.
  • edited December 2011
    My fiance and I are getting married on a Sunday this year.  Most of his family is coming in from out-of-town and a few of my friends are too.  Instead of a formal reception after the wedding (which neither my fiance nor I want anyway), we're renting a pavilion at a local park the day before for all the invited guests.  We'll probably set it for something like 11a-3p and make it entirely informal.  My step-dad and future FIL will grill and there will be picnic-type games.  People can come if they want and stay however long they want.  That will give all the out-of-towners a chance to hang out with us for a few hours without all the stress of planning a reception.  Maybe you could do something like that so you won't have to worry about your house being too full or feeling like you have to cook a huge meal.
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