Shower RSVP's... semi vent

ceglare4 · April 2012

So I am a little peeved and need to vent, and I need to hear what your situation is like! So my mom sent out the invites for my shower three weeks ago (well, I think it'll be three this week). So far, not even half have RSVP'ed, and the ones that have have either been family or my parents' friends. I'm a little upset about this. My mom didn't put "regrets only" on the RSVP line, and if you are planning on attending, why not call right away? Just frustrates me. She has the RSVP deadline set for 4/21, but what happens if not everyone RSVP's? What are your hosts planning on doing? Assuming they aren't coming? Calling them to find out if they are? I'm just worried that literally half the guest list won't RSVP... end vent. I'm kind of having a crap day

littlemoments324 · April 2012

I am in a similar situation..my mom did the same thing &put we havent had barely any rsvp's &i i think the deadline is the 16th...=( i am pretty bummed out about it..=(i. I think she plans on calling ppl &i having my aunt on my dads side call his side of the famil &i FI's gma call their families...=( i know ppl shop last minute &i it isnt all about gifts but i am a bit bummed about the looks of my registry...=(i ugh...i justwish ppl would have the decensy (sp?)At to rsvp....bah! Love ya laurel!

bridetobe71412 · April 2012

That's crap.

Although, I guess some people need to wait to RSVP for these sorts of things based on work/life schedules. In any event, if you KNOW you're COMING, why not just RSVP? I've never understood that.

I'm not involved in the RSVPs thankfully so I have no idea what my MOH and mom plan on doing if they don't receive RSVPs. I'd imagine they'll do something similar and start calling people up.

MeaganR12 · April 2012

I'm usually a last minute RSVPer, so you may have invited rude people like me, haha. I really don't have any advice for you on what to do though.

If it makes you feel better, my mom hasn't even mentioned throwing me a shower. FI's mom is throwing me one, and I'm so thankful for that, but it still kinda hurts :-/

ceglare4 · April 2012

Sorry about your mom Meagan, I would be hurt if my mom didn't even mention it either. I know showers shouldn't be "expected" but it's all part of the pre-wedding excitement. I was super excited when I found my shower dress, when my mom sent out the invites, and all that stuff. But now I'm just kind of bummed out about it. Must be the Monday blues or something.

I just wish one friend would RSVP. I've had a couple verbally tell me when we've been out that they're coming, but I dunno, I feel like that's a bit informal and I don't want to assume that things won't change. I still feel like they should call the number written on the card and formally accept or decline. Or at least tell me that they aren't planning on calling, but are definitely coming. Then I could assume that that's their RSVP. Maybe I'm overthinking this.

bridetobe71412 · April 2012

I'd say let the hosts handle it. You shouldn't be concerned about it.

A little while ago, I was really stressed about my FMIL and other people and their transportation to the shower. My mom told me to chill out (not in those words, lol) because I was the guest of honor and shouldn't worry about the details. Now whenever someone mentions it I just say "I'm not involved in the details but am really excited to see how things come together" and just let it be. I'd just let the hosts handle dealing with non-RSVPs after the deadline and not worry about it.

LADY324 · April 2012

Lol my mother forgot to put an rsvp date on the invites so my bridal party tracked down all of my friends, my mom tracked down our family and FMIL tracked down her family.

Ugh so annoying I have 2 cousins who are my first cousins on my fathers side. Who just backed out last minute and so did my moms friend so now my mom has to pay for them since it is too late to change the head count. All of the food was already ordered.

If people do this to us at the wedding I will flip out b/c we are paying $145 per head!!

LADY324 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_shower-rsvps-semi-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:3b16e6d9-1d7b-4dd8-b994-d7af18ba79a5Post:910f5466-5b79-48c0-a4eb-313880aea1be">Re: Shower RSVP's... semi vent</a>:
[QUOTE]Lol my mother forgot to put an rsvp date on the invites so my bridal party tracked down all of my friends, my mom tracked down our family and FMIL tracked down her family. Ugh so annoying I have 2 cousins who are my first cousins on my fathers side. Who just backed out last minute and so did my moms friend so now my mom has to pay for them since it is too late to change the head count. All of the food was already ordered. If people do this to us at the wedding I will flip out b/c we are paying $145 per head!!
Posted by LADY324[/QUOTE]

Updated and my mom is the rsvp person so I don't know why they keep texting me!!

k8888 · April 2012

Don't forget that this past weekend was a holiday weekend and on top of that, a lot of schools (at least where I live) are on spring break. People may just be busy at the moment, but yes, I understand your frustration.

I make it a point to be a prompt RSVPer because it sucks having to call people up on top of planning a party.

Carla1019 · April 2012

I'm sorry you are feeling frustrated. I am the type to RSVP right before the deadline because I would hate to say yes, and then I'm called into work and have to later say no.

I've learned that other times people that are really close to you feel that you should "know that they are coming". It sucks but that's life. Try not to stress or get angry with your guests.

BeabullMom · April 2012

Megan I am a late RSVP'er too...lol. I don't know why but I always hang the invites up and I am like "Oh man I need to call them, I'm supposed to call by this weekend" and I've had the thing for a month. I wouldn't worry too much.

butterflyjumper1 · April 2012

I am a late RSVP-er too, haha! Glad I am not the only one. I mean, I understand why you are annoyed (if I was involved in this part of my shower I am sure I would be too!) and I know I will be annoyed when there are late RSVps coming in for the actual wedding...but I think for now, all you can do is not stress. The guests still have 2 weeks left to RSVP, so just hope that they do, but don't worry about it. I am sure there will be at least a few that forget to RSVP, but hopefully most of them will remember.

related sidenote to what lady said: I talked to a newlywed couple I was seated with at a wedding a few weeks ago. They said they had SIX no-calls, no-shows that had positively RSVPd to their wedding. THAT IS A LOT OF MONEY!! This topic came up after TWO girls who were seated at our table (a table of the bride's friends) didn't show up. I am going to FREAK OUT if people do that to us.

LADY324 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_shower-rsvps-semi-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:3b16e6d9-1d7b-4dd8-b994-d7af18ba79a5Post:d7e4b5da-4568-4740-abad-3782153394dd">Re: Shower RSVP's... semi vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I am a late RSVP-er too, haha! Glad I am not the only one. I mean, I understand why you are annoyed (if I was involved in this part of my shower I am sure I would be too!) and I know I will be annoyed when there are late RSVps coming in for the actual wedding...but I think for now, all you can do is not stress. The guests still have 2 weeks left to RSVP, so just hope that they do, but don't worry about it. I am sure there will be at least a few that forget to RSVP, but hopefully most of them will remember. related sidenote to what lady said: I talked to a newlywed couple I was seated with at a wedding a few weeks ago. They said they had SIX no-calls, no-shows that had positively RSVPd to their wedding. THAT IS A LOT OF MONEY!! This topic came up after TWO girls who were seated at our table (a table of the bride's friends) didn't show up. I am going to FREAK OUT if people do that to us.
Posted by butterflyjumper1[/QUOTE]

yeah i just posted about this on my local board to see how many people it happened to. I think it is pretty much a guarantee to have 1 couple say yes then not come. It is so messed up!! I will flip too!!

ceglare4 · April 2012

How can people justify NOT coming to a wedding that they have RSVP'ed yes for??! I wonder if people just don't understand how weddings work, and that it's not like you just didn't show up for a birthday party or something. I will be so irate if people do this to me without something like horribly awful happening to them. I can understand if an emergency or something comes up. Otherwise, talk about rude!

syddy88 · April 2012

CEGLARE I am in the same boat right now, my mom had 2 people rsvp the day they got their invitations and has had nothing since then. We still have 2 and a half weeks until my shower, but you think people would let you know. My FMIL hasn't even rsvp'd and 2 of my bridesmaids! I am hoping some start responding this week since it is getting closer.

LADY luckily everything is a la carte here so it isn't the pp prices you have, but the little town my fiancee is from, no one rsvp's. I prepaid postage hoping it would motivate some on our invites, but its common that they don't. RSVPing and then not showing up is really rude tho!

bridetobe71412 · April 2012

I have a feeling my fiance never RSVPed to his quasi-friend's wedding this past August, despite the fact that I nagged him about it like forty times.

I just thought about that. That couple must hate us. (They aren't invited to our wedding . . . otherwise I'd expect the same from them!)

butterflyjumper1 · April 2012

OMG CEGLARE YOUR TICKER SAYS 2 MONTHS RIGHT NOW AHHHHHHHHH

ceglare4 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_shower-rsvps-semi-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:3b16e6d9-1d7b-4dd8-b994-d7af18ba79a5Post:8f043029-a88e-4ac4-9a0c-0d66e43400db">Re: Shower RSVP's... semi vent</a>:
[QUOTE]OMG CEGLARE YOUR TICKER SAYS 2 MONTHS RIGHT NOW AHHHHHHHHH
Posted by butterflyjumper1[/QUOTE]

I know, it freaks me out all the time! I seriously can't believe we are under 3 months... FI totally isn't even phased and I'm here freaking out!

arunkumar · April 2012

ceglare4 - you are acting just like my sister, who sent out my shower invitations last month. She was panicking because some people did not rsvp right away and my FMIL rsvp'd for multiple people (um hello you can't speak for other people, they have to rsvp themselves). I told her wait until the deadline has passed before you contact people. But I went ahead and asked a couple friends myself to send their RSVP or Decline sooner. Your guests still have two weeks to RSVP and they will, don't worry!

MeaganR12-I'm sorry about your mom. I know exactly how you feel. My mom and sister are throwing me a shower, but my FMIL and FSMIL did not offer to throw me one. It hurts because I make an effort to come to all of FI's family events and I like his relatives. My mom is paying for 5 of FI's relatives to come to the shower she is hosting because I don't want it to look like we are excluding his immediate family. I don't understand how that's fair though (considering my parents are paying for almost all of FI's guests to attend the wedding), but oh well. It still hurts a lot though, I'm not going to lie because it's the thought that counts, not the gifts. The good thing is, at least you will have one shower and I'm sure it will be awesome

AllyG303 · April 2012

same thing happening here--my shower is on the 27th and we haven't heard from too many people at all. I'm leaving it up to my mom--she'll probably call the non-RSVPers the week before.

Lisariqua · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_shower-rsvps-semi-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:3b16e6d9-1d7b-4dd8-b994-d7af18ba79a5Post:e61bd17b-2b9f-46e7-9027-0a25f82a30e1">Re: Shower RSVP's... semi vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm usually a last minute RSVPer, so you may have invited rude people like me, haha. I really don't have any advice for you on what to do though. Posted by MeaganR12[/QUOTE]

Same here.

Shower RSVP's... semi vent

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