Odd wedding day

sarahaleen · October 2012

So FI and I went to a reception this weekend and it was weird how they did it. We were invited to the reception only which was totally fine, they were having a really small ceremony at 2pm. Weird thing was the reception was drinks only, open bar. No dinner. This wasn't mentioned on the invite but thankfully we had friends at the ceremony who told us the wedding party only was eating at the restaurant where everything including the ceremony was held at 4. So everyone at the wedding but not in the party had to leave and come back at 6. Anyone else doing a crazy schedule like that?

beckyh77 · October 2012

That seems a little tacky to not put it on the invite that it was a beverage only thing. But to make all the other guests wait 4 hours? To me that's a little rude.

Our tentative timeline:

Ceremony, 3:00
Cocktail hour 4:30-5:30
Dinner 6:00-7:30
Dance 8:00-12:00

We are planning to serve apps of some kind at cocktail hour. Assuming the ceremony is 30 min, it takes another 30 min to drive to the reception and although 3/4 of our guest list is in-state, they're mostly out of town so will need to check into a hotel. This also gives us a little time to go to a different location for some fun pics before arriving.

Annas2013 · October 2012

To me that sounds like a tiered reception, which is rude according to traditional etiquette. Also not having food with the alcohol is a dangerous combination.

We are only inviting people to the ceremony that are invited to the reception. And vice versa. We'll go straight from ceremony, to cocktail hour, to dinner, to dancing.

SSaltzman87 · October 2012

That's so weird, not to mention kinda rude!

So far our timeline is looking like this since it'll all be in the same room:

Ceremony: 6:30 pm

Dinner: 7-7:15 pm

Dance: 8 pm

turtleslove · October 2012

I agree with PP. That should have been on the invite and it was rude to make people wait like that.

Our tentative timeline-
3pm Wedding photos
4:30pm Ceremony (30 min cermeony followed by family pictures)
6:00 Dinner
7:00 Entertainment

sarahaleen · October 2012

Ok so I'm not crazy! Lol. We're tentatively getting married at 430, cocktail hour starts at 6 and reception starts at 7. We're still trying to decide on times.

Danny&Mel2003 · October 2012

That is weird ... Our timeline is 530 to 6 ceremony 6 to 7 cocktail hr 7 to 11 dinner an dancing. The invitation should have at least told you that.

melb2013 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_odd-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:bfbc735a-fcf5-436c-884d-e703bb4984d8Post:c46cd941-edc9-49b4-af3b-3da3c381a670">Re: Odd wedding day</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>To me that sounds like a tiered reception, which is rude according to traditional etiquette. Also not having food with the alcohol is a dangerous combination. </strong> We are only inviting people to the ceremony that are invited to the reception. And vice versa. We'll go straight from ceremony, to cocktail hour, to dinner, to dancing.
Posted by Annas2013[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Ummmm duhhh! That is a super weird wedding and I'd be super annoyed as a guest.</div><div>
</div><div>All of our guests are invited the ceremony and reception. The ceremony immediately goes into the cocktail hour (there will be food with the alcohol!) and then dinner/dancing.

</div>

bburkel · October 2012

We are going to be doing something kinda like that, but not as spaced out. We do have 2 hours between the ceremony and cocktail hour, but our reception venue is about 20 minutes away and we want some time to finish up any pictures that we need to. And, people can use that time to check in to the hotel that is at the reception venue.

Our families are huge, so our guest list for dinner and reception is over 300. But, we are going to send out an open invite to coworkers and extended friends to come "have a drink and party with us" after the dinner. These people are in no way expected to bring gifts or anything, and won't need to RSVP, but if they are in town for the weekend and want to come hang out, they are more than welcome, once the dance starts. And, we'll be providing beer and wine, so they can have a free drink and party with us.

MamaBear904 · October 2012

I'm all about saving money, but thats crazy. And confusing!

Sharpschruter22 · October 2012

That's not kinda rude. That's REALLY rude! To not serve food at peak dinner hour? That's awful, OP. I'm sorry that happened! I think your open house reception isn't in the best of taste, BB. How are you going to say that? Are you telling them they aren't invited to the dinner part, just for drinks during the same reception? If not, they will definitely find out and how is that supposed to make them feel? I'd feel pretty sucky to receive an verbal invite that way. It's like saying they aren't important enough to warrant an actual invite and be hosted for dinner, but we want you to come have a drink anyway! Even though you said these people wouldn't be expected to bring gifts, I'm sure they will feel like they should. It's rude to bring up anything about gifts unless they bring it up first. Also..does this mean everyone who is invited to everything will be expected to bring gifts? You do know that it is never required to give a gift, right? Of course, most do because they want to, but that makes your explanation sound even worse. You probably didn't mean it that way and surely you would never say that to the fully invited guests, it just sounds bad. I know that you aren't intending your actions to hurt anyone's feelings, but I guarantee at least of of these people will be offended. You'll probably never hear that's what they think, because it's rude to bring up others rudeness. It's not my intention to make you feel bad. I like you and don't want you to come across as rude to others. I really hope you will consider changing your mind.

bburkel · October 2012

We've thought a lot about it, and I've actually been invited to similar wedding dances over the past few years. People tend to understand that you want everyone there to celebrate, but aren't made of money. And, it has gone over pretty well in those cases.

I don't know that any extras will actually show up, but we want to at least acknowledge them. For coworkers, it'll probably just be a flyer or casual email invite. My department at work does birthday cake each month, and there have been occasions where people have posted party invites and such during those parties and people seem cool with it.

Once we start getting our RSVPs back, we may be able to actually invite more people to the dinner, but this is our plan for now until we find out how many people are actually coming to our wedding. We need a minimum of 250 for our venue.

Sharpschruter22 · October 2012

Gotcha. Different social circles have different takes on what is appropriate and what is not. If you know that no one will be offended, then good deal. :

Odd wedding day

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