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September 2012 Weddings

hotel rooms the night before?? Who pays??

Our wedding is about a half an hour away from us but anywhere from 50 minutes to an hour and a half from most of our wedding party. 

My question is, since the rehearsal dinner will be the night before, it would be silly for our guests to go back home who live far away, right? Everyone in our wedding party except for two of the 10 is married and has a baby. What do we do about the night before the wedding?? I would think they wouldn't want to travel all the way back home in order to turn right around and come back the next day. So, if they have to get hotel rooms, who pays? How do I work out the logistics for this? Any insight?? TIA

Re: hotel rooms the night before?? Who pays??

  • I have about the same situation- the wedding party either lives 45 minutes away or are from out of town. I'm staying in a hotel suite with my bridesmaids, which I'll pay for. All other guests should be fine to pay their own if they choose to stay in town. In regards to logistics, I would just let them know where you have hotel blocks like you would tell other guests.
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  • I'm not sure of what etiquette would say but I think they are responsible for their own room.  If they can't afford it they will either go home or tell you they can't make it to your rehearsal.  If they say they can't afford to be at the rehearsal and if you must have them at the rehearsal for logisitcal purposes and can't run thru it the day of, then I'd offer to pay.  We are getting married in a different state that all of our BM and 2 of our GM.  We are skipping the rehearsal but strongly advising against flying in the day of to avoid stress if there are any delays.  We will not be paying for any rooms.  We get a free room for every 20 book and my MOH and I are staying together the night before.  If we hit the 20 we'd use the free room for me and her so that would be the only "exception."
  • I agree with PPs. I would just let them know that you have some hotel rooms blocked and leave it up to them. Actually, FI and I would probably prefer to go home as I would probably sleep better in my own bed. Plus, I would probably forget something. half an hour to an hour and a half isn't nearly as bad as if it were probably 2-4 hours where I would definitely get a hotel room. In short, I'd just leave it up to them.
  • I am paying for a hotel for all the girls. We plan on getting ready in the hotel room the next morning. All the groomsman are staying at our house. As far as family I am not paying for their hotel rooms.

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  • In an ideal (i.e., rich) world, you could afford to pay for their rooms since they are going back and forth for your wedding, but since that's not reality, I doubt they are expecting you to pay for their rooms and I don't think it's required.  I assume they knew about the short travel distance when they agreed to be in the wedding, so I think it's really on them.  I had grand ideas about paying for my WP's hotel rooms for our DW, but quickly realized that wasn't remotely practical and obviously my BMs agreed to be in the wedding knowing the travel expenses involved.  As pp said, if you are able to offer them room block rates, that would be great. 
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  • We were able to get them the room block rates, but they are paying for their own rooms.
  • I'm getting married about three hours away from where most of my bridal party lives and we are not paying for their rooms. I truly wish I had the money to do so, but it is just way too expensive. When I've been a bridesmaid I never expected or thought my room would be paid for; I always assumed it's just one of those things that comes with being in a wedding. Then again, I'm sure if one of my bridesmaids told me she couldn't afford it, I would find a way to take care of it or find a place for her to stay with another friend. 
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