Pre-wedding Parties

Confusing, difficult situation..what would you do?

My Fiancee are having an engagement party on Dec. 3 of this year. To make this post less confusing, I'm going to refer to Fiancee's brother and groomsman as T, Fiancee's brother's wife as K, my future mother in law as J and my future father in law as B. It's a mess.
T&K were just married on October 10th. I have never cared much for K, nor has anyone really, but we kept our mouths shut and tried our best to support the marriage. When T & K returned from their honeymoon, K turned into a downright nasty person. She complained on facebook that J gave her soaps from a hotel as a gift- along with over 300$ and a just engaged christmas ornament. J is frugal, and she probably really thought the soaps were a nice gift. This lead to an argument between her and T- and then she proceeded to tell me off saying that she couldn't come to the E party because she had better things to do, that it was stupid and i always hogged all the attention etc etc...she then proceeded to tell off B (while T was on speakerphone listening), announce at a local resteraunt that T's sister's house was being foreclosed on (loudly while she was there eating, to T's sisters friends), and topped it all off by going off on J, saying some of the meanest things I have ever heard. After all of this, T called J (his mother), and told her that it was just easier if they didn't talk anymore, because K said he had to make a choice between the two of them- and he chose K. Besides the point, K has been trying for awhile to push him away from everyone in his life- family included. She is not a nice person.

Here's the problem: T is a groomsman and told FI that he still wants to do this. I do not want K at my engagement party- after everything she's said and done, why should I? how do I go about this..can I just send T an invitation, with no guest (keep in mind they're married)? If I send it to T & Guest...he will try to bring her. I feel that if he chooses to not come because she isn't invited, he is making his choice not to be part of the family or the wedding. Please- no rude posts back- this is difficult and I need some advice. Thank you in advance.

Re: Confusing, difficult situation..what would you do?

  • rswan412rswan412 member
    edited December 2011
    I'm not hosting it. My parent's are hosting it.
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You still have to send an invite to the wife.  She sounds like a piece of work, but that's not an excuse.

    If she's really not in to the whole family thing, she won't come.  If she does come and cause trouble, it will be exponentially less than if you send an invitation to her house without her name on it.  I swear.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    She sounds like a nut job and a mean one, at that. But the bottom line is you have to inviter her if your brother-in-law is invited. They are a package deal. Invite her and hope she declines the invitation.
  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Most people are going to assume that their spouse is invited with them even if the spouses name is not on the invite.  I get that you don't want her there but she and her husband are a package deal.  Excluding her only makes you look bad and gives her something else to talk about.  Invite her and hope that she declines.  If she does show up smile, be polite, and do your best to avoid her. 
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