16 year old Jr or Full Bridesmaid

gkousoulis · April 2011

My goddaughter who will have been 16 for 6 days will be in our wedding. Will she be a junior bridesmaid or regular bridesmaid. Does she need an escort?

trix1223 · April 2011

Are the other bridesmaids being called Senior Bridesmaids? If they're not, why would you single out one of BMs with an age identifier?

If some are "full" bridesmaids, is she a "half bridesmaid"? Or if you're calling the others "regular" bridesmaids, is she an "irregular" bridesmaid?

Seriously, since a "junior" BM does exactly what a "senior" BM does, there's no need for a qualifier.

ETA: None of the BMs NEED an escort. They are probably perfectly capable of walking up and down an aisle on their own.

Your beautiful Goddaughter is a Bridesmaid. Congratulations to you and good luck.

mbcdefg · April 2011

The junior title means absolutely nothing, so she'd be a Bridesmaid.

She can be escorted by a groomsman if you want (even an adult man - it's a quick walk down the aisle, not a date), or she can double up with another bridesmaid and groomsman (one girl on each arm), or she could walk side-by-side with a bridesmaid, or she can walk alone. Your call. But you don't need to add a teenage boy to the wedding party JUST so she has an escort.

acmj11 · April 2011

Most people on here just say to drop the "Jr" no matter what the age. I personally think of little kid when I hear jr. bridesmaid. Just out of curiousity, what do you feel the difference is between bridesmaid and jr. bridesmaid? I'm just wondering what difference it would make? I hope this isn't coming across snotty, I'm genuinely wondering why you're asking this question?

JA2003 · April 2011

True, most people get rough on here at the thought of a "Junior" bridesmaid..
I just want to say, you do what you want-it's your wedding! If the rest of your bridal party is older and you want to refer to her as a Jr.; let's face it, she's probably not going to care or even notice. She'll tell all her friends she's a bridesmaid anyway and it'll only come into play in your program or your procession. At 16, she won't be helping out finanically with planning any showers or things of that nature ,or if your Bachelorette party turns out to involve alcohol, she won't be included and she knows this-she won't care. She'll just be thrilled she's in your WP. If it helps your sanity to have her as a Jr. and have her walk alone through the ceremony, then more power to ya girl! Good luck, and happy planning!

McKenna2012 · April 2011

I agree the "junior" is pointless. She will be doing the same thing the others do, which is walking down the aisle and smiling.

zitiqueen · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_16-year-old-jr-full-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b2d4db83-8812-47dc-ad52-1fb3c93c10e6Post:b6f428cf-e5c0-47d6-8bc4-00b3fa0ce4be">Re: 16 year old Jr or Full Bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]True, most people get rough on here at the thought of a "Junior" bridesmaid.. I just want to say, you do what you want-it's your wedding! :) If the rest of your bridal party is older and you want to refer to her as a Jr.; let's face it, she's probably not going to care or even notice. She'll tell all her friends she's a bridesmaid anyway and it'll only come into play in your program or your procession. At 16, she won't be helping out finanically with planning any showers or things of that nature ,or if your Bachelorette party turns out to involve alcohol, she won't be included and she knows this-she won't care. She'll just be thrilled she's in your WP. =) If it helps your sanity to have her as a Jr. and have her walk alone through the ceremony, then more power to ya girl! Good luck, and happy planning!
Posted by JA2003[/QUOTE]

Yes, because 16-year-olds love to have the fact that they're too young to do anything pointed out to everybody. They hate when people try to treat them as adults.

gkousoulis · April 2011

WOW, I didn't think it was going to get all heated. I guess I thought that there was an age difference between her and the rest of the bridal party. Plus, If he was to be considered a "junior" bridesmaid. She would have her own "junior bridesmaid" dress. I just didn't know what the proper etiquette was for a 16 year old. Which is why I asked the question. Thank you to the people who did answer my questions as far as escort etc...

gkousoulis · April 2011

This was the post I had written on another wedding site. Perhaps this will explain more to those who had questions. I didn't get any resonse on the other site. Perhaps, the topic is too heated? i did not realize "My goddaughter, who will turned 16 six days prior to the wedding, will be in the wedding. I've very excited to have her part of the wedding and I know that it will mean a lot to her to be in the wedding party. Plus, I do want to have her in the wedding party. I'm just not sure what to call her. If she is too old to be a Junior bridesmaid and is a bridesmaid do i need to have an escort for her? I don't know any teenage boys. I don't know if having her escorted by a groomsman, who are all in their 30s, will be creepy....... yeah, I think it may be a little creepy. Can I have her escort the flower girl and ring bearer"

gkousoulis · April 2011

thanks I liked this post

gkousoulis · April 2011

I didn't take it as snotty. I guess I didn't know the difference expect that the young girl is usally more modestly dressed. That is why I asked for advice

gkousoulis · April 2011

I agree with the financial aspect of your post good point

gkousoulis · April 2011

Oh sorry, I thought I was replying to individual posts. I don'tknow how to use this thing

gkousoulis · April 2011

everyone had good posts.. thank you

zitiqueen · April 2011

Click on "QUOTE" at the bottom of each post to reply to that post!

McKenna2012 · April 2011

I don't think anything got heated. The overall point is that she doesn't really have to be "called" anything. The bridal shop may call her a Junior Bridesmaid for dress purposes if you order from their "Junior Bridesmaid" collection to match her dress to the adults' dresses. But as far as what you think of her as, she is doing the same thing the bridesmaids do, so she's a bridesmaid.

trix1223 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_16-year-old-jr-full-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b2d4db83-8812-47dc-ad52-1fb3c93c10e6Post:98a990e7-4cc2-475f-b366-9de202ccfa8a">Re: 16 year old Jr or Full Bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]This was the post I had written on another wedding site. Perhaps this will explain more to those who had questions. I didn't get any resonse on the other site. Perhaps, the topic is too heated? i did not realize "My goddaughter, who will turned 16 six days prior to the wedding, will be in the wedding. I've very excited to have her part of the wedding and I know that it will mean a lot to her to be in the wedding party. Plus, I do want to have her in the wedding party. I'm just not sure what to call her. If she is too old to be a Junior bridesmaid and is a bridesmaid do i need to have an escort for her? I don't know any teenage boys. I don't know if having her escorted by a groomsman, who are all in their 30s, will be creepy....... yeah, I think it may be a little creepy. Can I have her escort the flower girl and ring bearer"
Posted by gkousoulis[/QUOTE]

Many prom dresses can double for BM dresses, so I don't see any need to dress a 16 year old differently than you're dressing the other BMs. IMO, the line of Jr. BM dresses are really geared more to a pre-teen than a 16 year old.

As for walking with a 30 year old, it's a 20 second walk up the aisle. No one will think that they're in a relationship. You're overthinking this.

And you don't need to add a random teenaged boy to the WP just because your Goddaughter is in the WP. That would be silly.

Good luck to you.

pgcp · April 2011

I was my sister's maid of honor when I was 17. My brother in law's brother was the best man, he is 12 years older than me. No one thought it was weird or anything like that, it just was what it was.

Your goddaughter will be fine in the same dress as the other bride's maids, and to be honest if the dress isn't modest enough for her I would question if it was modest enough for the others! Take a moment and look at the prom dresses that are out there, unless the bride's maid dress is less modest than what you see you'll be just fine. Also fwiw, jr. bride'smaid dresses are children's sizes, most girls out grow those sizes by age 13, many heavier or taller girls out grow them by age 10.

mbcdefg · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_16-year-old-jr-full-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b2d4db83-8812-47dc-ad52-1fb3c93c10e6Post:eb4c1eed-2fe6-44b1-8cea-e67618a03c28">Re: 16 year old Jr or Full Bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with the financial aspect of your post good point
Posted by gkousoulis[/QUOTE]

Finances don't have anything to do with being a bridesmaid. They're not required to chip in for a shower or bachelorette for the bride.

Most bridesmaids will do this, yes, but that's because they're your friends and want to do something nice for you. Not because they have to just because of the bridesmaid title.

JA2003 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_16-year-old-jr-full-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b2d4db83-8812-47dc-ad52-1fb3c93c10e6Post:59b6cf16-9fda-46c9-9fe7-a6ec6bf4850c">Re: 16 year old Jr or Full Bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 16 year old Jr or Full Bridesmaid : Yes, because 16-year-olds love to have the fact that they're too young to do anything pointed out to everybody. They hate when people try to treat them as adults.
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

I never said to not treat her like an adult, that wasn't the point of my post. I was trying to convey the message to the OP that she's free to do whatever she wants, because thats the advice that I've been given and that I see being given on numerous boards. It's true, though, that if she feels it's appropriate-go for it.
We don't know the girl, that might be more appropriate for her individually...

JA2003 · April 2011

Another option is to just let them pick their dresses and give them some things to try and match. For instance, tell them the length and color and let them find things that they are personally comfortable wearing. It doesn't matter how old they are everyone has their own tastes and preferences...

JA2003 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_16-year-old-jr-full-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b2d4db83-8812-47dc-ad52-1fb3c93c10e6Post:1651a85b-94a7-47a0-8970-928637da690a">Re: 16 year old Jr or Full Bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 16 year old Jr or Full Bridesmaid : Finances don't have anything to do with being a bridesmaid. They're not required to chip in for a shower or bachelorette for the bride. Most bridesmaids will do this, yes, but that's because they're your friends and want to do something nice for you. Not because they have to just because of the bridesmaid title.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

I never said it was a requirement, I just stated that she probably would not help out with this aspect. I know that the party or showers themselves are not even a requirement, but are nice gestures. I agree. I said that she would probably not be a key player in the planning, that is all I said.
That is just my opinion, I didn't say you had to agree =)

graysquirrel · April 2011

I would skip the "junior" part. Like pps said, most 16 year olds want nothing more than to be grown up, so including her with the rest would be a nice gesture.

As for what was mentioned earlier regarding finances-- that sounds like a really bad excuse to call someone "junior". Would someone rank their regular BM as something less because she couldn't give money or didn't drink it up at parties?

And as long as you don't force her to do one of those WP dances with an older man, there should be no problem with her walking next to an adult male for 30 seconds. It's not like he will molest her on the way.

strlzfan11 · April 2011

Why don't you just ask her what her preference is?

lilady8589 · April 2011

I had this same issue about asking a cousin to be apart of the wedding. She meant a lot to me and wanted her to have an important part of the wedding. She is 17 and will be 18 by time my wedding day comes. So I understand where your coming from and I think really jr bridesmaids are usually 12 and 13yrs to old to be a flower girl but too young to be a bridesmaid. Really though as so many have said this is your day and you can choose however you want your day to go and who shares in your day

zitiqueen · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_16-year-old-jr-full-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b2d4db83-8812-47dc-ad52-1fb3c93c10e6Post:7ae79633-b6ba-443e-8ccc-df46617a726f">Re: 16 year old Jr or Full Bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]I had this same issue about asking a cousin to be apart of the wedding. She meant a lot to me and wanted her to have an important part of the wedding. She is 17 and will be 18 by time my wedding day comes. So I understand where your coming from and I think really jr bridesmaids are usually 12 and 13yrs to old to be a flower girl but too young to be a bridesmaid. Really though as so many have said this is your day and you can choose however you want your day to go and who shares in your day
Posted by lilady8589[/QUOTE]

Will you please explain why a 12- or 13-year-old is too young to be a bridesmaid? What is she doing during the ceremony and reception that is any different than the "senior" bridesmaids that necessitates setting her apart from them with the "junior" label?

lilady8589 · April 2011

A bridesmaid and maid of honor have more to do with the wedding than just standing and looking pretty. The maid of honor is responsible for planning the bridal shower and bachlerette party and the bridesmaids are there for support as well as helping the bride plan the wedding, hense the maid part in the name. If at either one of your weddings the matron or maid of honor and bridesmaids don't do anything than that is up to you. However that was the whole reasoning for the jr and sr bridesmaids less responsibility.

trix1223 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_16-year-old-jr-full-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b2d4db83-8812-47dc-ad52-1fb3c93c10e6Post:89de8f46-e05e-431c-87bd-ccd0488a8823">Re: 16 year old Jr or Full Bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]A bridesmaid and maid of honor have more to do with the wedding than just standing and looking pretty. The maid of honor is responsible for planning the bridal shower and bachlerette party and the bridesmaids are there for support as well as helping the bride plan the wedding, hense the maid part in the name. If at either one of your weddings the matron or maid of honor and bridesmaids don't do anything than that is up to you. However that was the whole reasoning for the jr and sr bridesmaids less responsibility.
Posted by lilady8589[/QUOTE]

No, darlin', they are not responsible for planning the bridal shower and the bachelorette party.

The "maid" part came from shortening "maiden". Bridesmaids were, originally, young women the same age as the bride who surrounded her on her way to the wedding to confuse the evil spirits who would, it was believed, cause harm to the bride.

They are NOT servants and should not be treated as such.

You have been reading too many bridal magazines, watching too many bridal tv shows, and scouring too many bridal websites. Please step away now, because you're rapidly being sucked into the wedding industry vortex.

Your answer is completely, totally claptrap, poppycock, and dare I say, bunk. OP, please disregard this advice.

But hey, lilady, lots of good luck to you in your planning.

pretzelgrrl · April 2011

I always figured they were called junior bridemaids when they fit into th junior bridesmaid dresses not the bridesmaids dresses.

zitiqueen · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_16-year-old-jr-full-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b2d4db83-8812-47dc-ad52-1fb3c93c10e6Post:89de8f46-e05e-431c-87bd-ccd0488a8823">Re: 16 year old Jr or Full Bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]A bridesmaid and maid of honor have more to do with the wedding than just standing and looking pretty. The maid of honor is responsible for planning the bridal shower and bachlerette party and the bridesmaids are there for support as well as helping the bride plan the wedding, hense the maid part in the name. If at either one of your weddings the matron or maid of honor and bridesmaids don't do anything than that is up to you. However that was the whole reasoning for the jr and sr bridesmaids less responsibility.
Posted by lilady8589[/QUOTE]

See, and all this time I thought bridesmaids were chosen because they're the nearest and dearest to the bride. I didn't realize that they were chosen so they could be the bride's bitches. And I thought it was the groom's responsibility to help plan his wedding.

And before you argue that this very website agrees with your description of the bridal party's duties, keep in mind this website's sole reason for existence -- to separate the bride, her family, and her clueless bridal party from as much of their money as possible.

The bridal party's responsibility starts with buying the dress, walking down the aisle and standing next to the bride during her vows and ends with smiling pretty for the pictures. Everything else is optional. And not optional on the bride's part, but optional on the part of the bridesmaid. They get to choose how involved they want to be.

ajroark · April 2011

I would just call her a regular bridesmaid. I would only refer to someone as a junior bridesmaid if they were under 10. 16 year olds are generally pretty sensitive about being referred to as a child or "junior."

16 year old Jr or Full Bridesmaid

Re: 16 year old Jr or Full Bridesmaid

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