Where are you from?

jenvalet · January 2010

Hi everyone,

I'm just curious. If you are Jewish, did you grow up in a community where there was a strong Jewish presence? I'm from Boston and MH is from NY, so we most definitely grew up having a lot of Jewish friends and feeling that sense of community.

We are currently considering a big move to Austin, TX. What we've seen is that there is not a huge Jewish population. We don't have kids now, but we're hoping soon. And I am not sure I would want my kids to grow up being the only one or among a few Jewish kids.

Just curious what everyone thinks about this. Did anyone here grow up being one of only a few Jewish families? What do you think?

Thanks!

dmplz02 · January 2010

There are probably more families than you think. I grew up in Minneapolis, and I was surrounded by Jewish families. I live in South Florida now, and Jews here are always surprised to hear that there are Jews in someplace odd like Minnesota, but there are!

I was definitely a minority in my high school, but my parents kept me so involved with youth groups and going to camp, I never felt really felt that different.

From my experiences between my two homes, Jews in Minnesota were actually a lot more active in Jewish life (JCC membership, youth groups, Jewish camps, synagogue involvement) up in Minnesota, than down in South Florida where it seems every other person is Jewish. I guess in Minnesota it felt like there was more of an effort from the Jewish community for involvement, as a way to stay together.

I wish you the best of luck if you do move!

jenvalet · January 2010

Thank you so much! I completely agree with what you're saying. It's almost like we take it for granted in MA because we're surrounded by a lot of Jewish people. We feel like if we moved we'd be much more likely to be involved in the Jewish community.

Rachiemoo · January 2010

I grew up in upstate New York (by Albany) and my DH grew up in Brooklyn, NY. I went to a public school that had (and I'm estimating here) about a 10-15% Jewish population. For a lot of people this may seem like alot, but I have to say that I wished it was larger. I did attend a Reform synogogue (Hebrew school, Bat Mitzvah, etc). and I also did attend Reform and Conservative day camps and sleepaway camps in the summer. Even though my family did expose me to a lot of Jewish things, I have to say that the secular and Christian culture of my school and a lot of my friends was what I found more important to me while I was growing up. At different times throughout school and the beginning of my college career I was not interested in Judaism very much at all, and in fact I often attempted to hide it (this later changed in my later years of college - I can share this story another time if anyone is interested).

My DH on the other hand grew up going to a modern Orthodox day school on the UES of Manhattan. He grew up in an observant, kosher and shomer shabbat home. Basically all of his friends were Jewish. He was always very comfortable with his Jewishness whereas I remember definitely not being comfortable with it at certain times during my childhood/teenage years.

And now for a third experience - my DH's cousins live in Atlanta, which I woudln't think has a huge Jewish population, however his cousins attend Jewish day schools and there are a few different synagogues (no Kosher restaurants though if I remember correctly). Through research I've found that a lot of cities that don't have large Jewish populations still have a Jewish day school or two and synagogues.

I feel that even in cities with not very high Jewish populations, if you choose to send your children to Jewish schools, then they will feel comfortable. However, growing up attending a public school (which did have around 15% Jewish children), I do have to admit I did not always feel completely comfortable. I did experience a small amount of anti-semitism in my school. I personally feel that I wouldn't send my children to a public school because of my experience. A lot of Jewish schools do give out many need based scholarships.

There is definitely a Jewish community in Austin (I actually know someone who lives there, I can put you in touch with her if you'd like, though she is Orthodox and I'm not sure what level of observance you are). However, I would recommend sending your children to a Jewish day school if possible (and I'm not judging anyone who sends their children to public school, I just feel that I would have done much better in a private Jewish school setting and if I am lucky enough to be blessed with children in the future, I hope to send my kids to a Jewish day school.)

jenvalet · January 2010

Thanks, Rachiemoo. We did see there was an orrthodox temple in Austin. We are looking a little out into the suburbs of Austin. We are reform, but really, we celebrate high holidays and that's about it. BUT, I'm sure we will observe more once we have kids, as I'd like them to have a strong Jewish identity.

MH spoke with a cantor for a Jewish center that's in the suburbs. It sounds like there are some Jewish families, but not a ton. They do have hebrew/Sunday schools as well. I'm not sure about a Jewish day school. I will definitely look into that.

Thanks for your help!

Rachiemoo · January 2010

Awesome... also, just so you know, there are a lot of Jewish day schools not just for Orthodox. There are Reform and Conservative, as well as just general "community" schools that aren't affiliated with one movement and serve all Jewish children in the community.

jenvalet · January 2010

We're going to visit the few that are in the community so we can get an idea.

Danaz1 · January 2010

I grew up in Omaha Ne. There wasn't a huge jewish population there but big enough. You just have to involve yourself in a synagogue or community center to make sure your children experience that. I live in chicago now and there is not problem with that.

ballandchain10 · January 2010

FI and I are re-locating to South Florida (which has a large Jewish population), but we still scoped out the area in terms of synagogues, JCC's and Jewish day schools.

Just see what resources are available to you in the Austin area...I have heard there is a small Jewish population there though, so maybe there is more than you think.

good luck :-)

october010bride · January 2010

I'm from Queens,NY and went to a public hs that was 95% Jewish, lol. I didn't have close friends that weren't Jewish until college.

Fi is from your hometown I believe... Framingham/Natick right? And eventhough a lot of people are Jewish he didn't have many close Jewish friends at all. But of course he did go to temple his whole life and has a very strong Jewish identity.

When I was in college I applied to be a JCC at Hillel. One of my top 5 matches was a college in Austin. From what I remember they have a small Jewish community but it is very close nit and although its not exactly around the corner Dallas actually has a substantial Jewish community.

Where ever you end up just remember, your kids will be as connected to their faith as you want them to be. If you move to a town with a small Jewish population theres always Jewish sleep-away camp so they can build relationships with other Jewish children their age.

Although I can imagine it might be hard raising a Jewish family in a not so Jewish area it happens all the time and as long as its important to you and your hubby then hopefully it'll be important to your children

tenofcups4me · January 2010

I grew up in a suburb of Philly where my school was about 50% Jewish so it was very much a cultural norm. (We even had non-Jews in our B'nai Brith Girls club eventually because so many of their friends were in it and they wanted to be part of it!) I experienced definite culture shock when I went to a state university where there weren't many Jews.

After that I moved to New York city, where again there are so many Jews that it's a large part of the culture. Certainly even non-Jews enjoy bagels and buy knishes on the street; everyone knows when it's a major holiday; you can literally see a difference on the streets on Yom Kippur, etc. I'm much more a secular Jew than anything else, but I really liked that the culture was so dominant in NY.

Now I live in a small city. I know there are Jews here, but in 5 years, I haven't met one. There's no Jewish deli. It took years, but I finally found the one place that makes a decent bagel and now that Wegman's has come to town, I can at least buy the fishes for a brunch.

I *really* miss having Jewish friends. I've always had a mix of friends, but it's really weird to me to not have any Jewish friends here. I've been at a loss as to how to meet Jewish people. I don't actually want to go to synagogue. I'm not religious and have never been part of a synagogue community.

But I'm not sure where else to find Jewish people here. There is a big Y here, but their programs are geared to kids, singles, seniors, and people with kids. I don't fall into any of those categories. I've looked for "Meetups" for Jews and there are none.

FWIW, though, I have a cousin in Charlotte, where there's not a big Jewish community, but it's apparently well defined. She's met a ton of people through her synagogue and seems to have mostly Jewish friends there now.

As far as I can tell, in areas with fewer Jews, the synagogues are the best way to find people and I'm just not sure I want to do that.

Shoshie · January 2010

I grew up on the north shore of Chicago and now live in the L.A. burbs (my city isn't very Jewish at all, but we are next to some incredible Jewish areas)

lynniearudner · January 2010

im from new haven, ct, and went to a conservative day school and jewish summer camp. i was immersed in it, and enjoyed my judaism immensely growing up.

now i live in salt lake city. one might think the antithesis of what i grew up with. and on the surface, maybe, but in reality, its all about the effort you want to make.

ive moved more toward the reform end of the things the past couple of years here, and am enjoying both activity in synagogue, and other parts of the jewish community here (it DOES exist!)

so my advice is to go where you want -- you will find and make yourself a home there, and, if you like, judaism will be part of that.

signingjulie · January 2010

I grew up in Philadelphia (one of the biggest Jewish communities in the country) and went to Jewish day school, Ramah, USY, etc. My middle/high school was 50-60% Jewish. Literally all my friends my whole life were Jewish (minus 1 or 2). I went to college in Northern Va. where the Jewish community was on the smaller side (even though it was near DC). I became involved in Hillel and that was my Jewish outlet. Later on I moved to Tampa. Again, not one of the biggest Jewish communities, but it was big enough for me. When I first moved here I was a synagogue Youth Director so I met Jews right away. I also became involved in Young Adult Division (of Tampa JCC/Federation) where I met the majority of my friends as well as FI. I guess what I'm trying to say is, regardless of where you live, if having a Jewish life is important to you, whatever that involves (it's different for everyone), you will make it happen. Obviously it's easier if you're in a big city like New York, but as long as there are synagogues, JCC, Jewish Day school, etc., you will be ok. I really don't know anything about the Jewish community in Austin. You're smart to do research/visit the area/talk to people to get a better idea. GL!

girliegirlral · January 2010

Well I am completely out of the norm. I am outside of LA and there were literally 10 practicing Jews in my high school of 2,000+. We never got high holy days off, people still called it "Christmas break," and in art class I was always the only one who had to do an alternate holiday project.

I do you think you become very bonded to those who are of the same religion (at my Temple). I was never influenced by my peers because I had such a strong family grounding in Judaism. Even when I went to college, the only Jewish person that I be-friended happened to be my FI! It is kind of sad now because I have no Jewish friends, but I can say that everyone is definately excited about attending a Jewish wedding! Apparently Jews through the best parties haha

Jeni35 · February 2010

Stay in a Jewish area! Just an opinion...

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