Cash Bar

Kones · July 2009

Someone told me I should try to post in my area to get my answer. I am a student, and we cannot afford to pay for everyones booze. I have read that it is not okay to have a cash bar. I have been told that it is. I am not sure anymore, and I don't want to upset anyone. Is it okay to have a cash bar??

ring_pop · July 2009

Where will your wedding be held? What are your family and friends used to?Who's told you that it's OK (other than these random people on The Knot)?I live in Toronto and every wedding I've ever attended has been open bar. I was asked by some family and friends whether we were having a cash or open bar, which leads me to believe that cash bar DOES happen in this city. But I wouldn't have a cash bar if I wasn't sure that 100% of my guests expected it.

Kones · July 2009

My friends and family are used to both. I know it would be ideal if we could have an open bar, but it is just not possible.

ashley669 · July 2009

I've been to both kinds of weddings and it doesn't make a big difference - I had a great time whether I paid for my drinks or not. Just make sure that your guests know that it's a cash bar so that they actually bring money...a few people at my friend's wedding only had debit cards so they were a little annoyed.

sillynut · July 2009

Ive never been to a cash bar wedding. Could you maybe pull off just serving beer & wine to your guests instead of a full open bar? Good luck!

AuroraGirl · July 2009

It all depends on who's attending your wedding. My co-workers think it's an absolute NO NO; but my school friends are divided, some like it, some don't. I've been to a couple of cash bar weddings, and people seems to be ok with it, as long as they know in advance. My personal experience: Where I come from is a huge NO, and it would be considered very rude, but mind you, our weddings are fully paid by the father of the bride. So if our case, if we can't affort to pay for everybody's drinks, we just have a small gathering according to the budget. Actually, before coming to Canada I've never heard of such a thing, and the first time I attended a cash bar wedding, I found myself without cash, or not even my wallet! Just my little pretty bag with lipstic and make-up in it. So in conclusion, make sure your guests know what's the deal before hand.

raynes · July 2009

I'm not a huge fan of them, especially if I wasn't aware of it ahead of time.That being said, I've been to both types. Usually the cash bar receptions did offer some complimentary wine with dinner.Could you do it half and half? Have the bar open for dinner (or even just serve wine and beer) and then cash after?I've also seen it done where they bride and groom put a limit on the bar (say $1500-$2000), had it open until the hit that mark, and then switched to cash.You could also serve only a signature cocktail.It's always nice to provide something, but I wouldn't say you HAVE to have a fully open bar.That got a bit rambley, sorry. (Is rambley even a word?)

torontobride17 · July 2009

I've never been to a cash bar wedding either. Except once as a child where I remember my father was very miffed about it.I would recommend doing just beer and wine, or a signature cocktail as others have suggested. However, only you know what is standard in your area. If it's done there, it might be okay.Definitely give people a heads up though. I'd be upset if I hadn't known a head of time because I'd be very unlikley to have cash with me.

onetier · July 2009

In my culture a cash bar is unheard of. Basically the thinking is, if you can't pay for an open bar then you shouldn't be getting married or having a reception that is that big. You should make it so that you can have a reception but have an open bar, no matter what.But I agree with everyone else. If you are going to have a cash bar you definitely need to write it on your reception card or somewhere so people know. I'd also have a listing on the tables of what is available and the prices to match so that people aren't surprised when they get to the bar.

ChihuahuaGolf · July 2009

I am originally from the Maritimes and there is no such thing as an open bar there, everyone does cash. Although - I've heard from a few people that this is changing because the bars at the venues weren't making any money. This is because in reality, cash bar = flask wedding

I live in Toronto now, and most weddings seem to have open bars. But - I've been to both up here. My best friend had a cash bar, she and her husband are both students as well. I don't think that anyone that really cares about you (i.e. hopefully most of your guests) will really mind about the cash bar. And - most people I know would rather go to a cash bar wedding than a dry wedding. The thing that I really mind is "Stag and Does," the fundraiser for the wedding. I think it's weird that in Ontario people think it's okay to do this, but not okay to have a cash bar at the wedding. Seems backwards to me!Regardless - you need to think about your own crowd, because so many things about a wedding are region-specific and family-specific. Try to do what is best for you and your guests, not internet strangers.

prostarr19 · July 2009

Why don't you do a limited bar? That's what we're doing. Once we're out of something, we're out of it. Since we have to supply all the drinks we're getting pop and water from Costco and we're going to bottle the wine ourselves and then hit up the LCBO for the remainder but whatever isn't opened can be returned. We aren't buying every type of alcohol so that every drink under the sun can be made. We're just bringing the "main" ones, vodka, rum, etc. and NO tequila. That way I can avoid tequila shots from random people.

sarah-bella · July 2009

i've been to several (read too many) weddings in my past. i think it's been an even split of cash v open bars.i'm ok with open bars as long as the drinks are A) reasonably priced and

i am warned in advance that it is a cash barthe one thing we wanted was to be able to provide open bar to our guests. it was one thing that was really important (especially since it was a cocktail party!)we were really lucky to be able to bring in our own booze (well, not lucky actually ~ we picked the venue because of that - it was one of the stipulations. . . . a big enough room to do both ceremony and reception in one place and the ability to bring in own booze) we were able to get our guests right ripped for 1500. it was awesome! drinks were less than a buck a piece!i agree with the other suggestions above. if you can't go all out, try to provide as much as you can (wine for dinner, free beer and wine with liquor being paid for by guests. . . . )

kissybee · July 2009

Where I'm from (southwest of T.O.) split bars - i.e. open for cocktails then cash after dinner - are the norm.It's one of those questions though that I think can only be answered by real live people in your group. Poll your friends, parents, classmates and see what they're used to.

torontobride17 · July 2009

I hear you on stag and does, and trust me, they are not the norm in all of Ontario! I've never been to one. I think they mostly have them up north.

kaesha · August 2009

I'd never heard of stag and does until this year on the knot!I generally think of a wedding as a gigantic dinner party. If you were hosting a dinner party, you wouldn't ask guests to BYOB or pay for drinks. Having said that, the last two weddings I've gone to have been split bars, an open bar during the cocktail hour, closed during dinner so the waiters could serve wine, then it went to a cash bar.The problem with that one is all of us drank like the world was coming to an end during the open bar and I stopped as soon as the bar was requiring cash. The couple was telling me last weekend that the bar ended up costing them 1300$ for 1 hour because of all the binging.I'd probably do (because this is what I'm doing IRL) a limited open bar. We're serving beer, wine and three signature cocktails, and we're buying and bringing in all our own booze. But, there's nothing wrong with just serving beer and wine.

Witchys_Woman · August 2009

Practically every wedding I have been to it's either been Twonie bar or no bar. I find that people are more then willing to cough up wo buck for a drink. In Newfoundland open bar is like an unheard of dream come true. In Alberta I find it's twonie bar.

kelmcgee · August 2009

I've only ever been to two weddings that were open bar, every other one has always been a toonie bar. We decided that since we are trying to pay for as much as we can on our own, that we are going with the toonie bar. I think it depends on where you are, and what you are confortable with paying for.

psyco.pingu · August 2009

im doing a cash bar at my wedding and i frankly dont care what the guests think, i know my side of the family will not have a problem its the norm but i told marc to let his mum know to pass on the message to his side incase they are not used to it. We are having white and red wine (a few bottles per table) during the dinner but after that or before that the guests on on their own. I have been to many weddings were it was a cash bar and i was never insulted and never though anything of it. Frankly i think it happens more in the cities than out in the country. Go with what you can afford, you cant please everyone no matter what you do

CanadianGurl · August 2009

Of course it is "okay" to host a cash bar, but if it was up to me and I didn't have the funds for a host bar, I'd sooner have a dry wedding, or a limited bar before I'd have a cash bar. I wouldn't want to ask our guests to pay for their $2-3 drink after they gave us a wedding gift.

westerngirl_84 · August 2009

As a student myself, I have absoltely no problem with a cash bar, as long as guest know in advance. I think that if your family members/guests know that you're on a budget, it's more "acceptable," especially if you're paying for the wedding yourself. Personally, I really didn't like the idea of providing people with a gluttonous amount of alcohol and then proceed to watch them make a fool out of themselves. I went to one wedding where it was a cash bar which I was fine with (especially because I'll have one glass of wine at the most), but I thought it was a little odd to ask people to pay when the couple had been together for 12 years, had well-established careers, and had just bought a house-with a cash eposit- that was quite expensive. But you never know the reason behind the decision to cash or not to cash... I think you should just look at who's coming to the wedding-are they huge/big/small/non-drinkers? My family doens't drink at all, and I have personal issues with providing people with alcohol, which makes you legally responsible should they decide to drive and get into an accident-I wouldn't want something like that serving as a reminder of my wedding. If you're nervous abot that, then maybe just serve drinks during dinner (which willl help lessen the amount of drunkness), and then if people feel the need to drink more, they can buy it themselves during the night. You can also request for waiters (if you have them) to circulate with pitchers of water to help keep the amount of drinking down, as well as the cost. Good luck!

Bethand Keith · November 2009

I personallly am having a cash bar for my wedding. I think that as long as you make your guests aware, on invite, there should not be an issue. I think it is unrealistic to expect open bar at weddings....tooo pricey

Just my thought

Good luck.

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ca_surfergirl · December 2009

Just an idea, what about giving the guest a few drink tickets?

Often it is done tacky(I know), but I have seen it done nicely. The benefit is that you provide everyone the same amount of drinks, it will keep people from abusing your hospitality, and you know what the final cost will be a head of time.

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