My Fiancee Doesn't Agree W/ My bestfriends Being In My Wedding Party.. Is This A Red FLAG????

Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Agree W/ My bestfriends Being In My Wedding Party.. Is This A Red FLAG????

• Girlie1030 member

  

  October 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_my-fiancee-doesnt-agree-w-my-bestfriends-being-in-my-wedding-party-is-this-a-red-flag?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b0570a27-89e0-49ad-ae4b-c0c226398e5cPost:a3eca92a-2b8b-47ea-9b19-d077e58a7945">My Fiancee Doesn't Agree W/ My bestfriends Being In My Wedding Party.. Is This A Red FLAG????</a>:
  [QUOTE]Well me and my fiancee has been together for 2 yrs now and thinking about tieing the knot.. We have a beautiful 10 Mnth Old Son And Is Now Ready to start planning (I THINK).. Well now I have mentiooned that my Bestfriend of 4 yrs would b my MH he's fliiping out and i need to know if any other woman has experienced this nd wat i should do... HELP!!!
  Posted by NishaMoore1[/QUOTE]
  
  I'm confused.  Are you engaged or aren't you?

  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  October 2012

  If he thinks he gets to dictate who your friends are say no if he proposes.  

  
  

  Wait until you actually get engaged before you think about who would be in your wedding party.  

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• Simply Fated member

  

  October 2012

  Why was he flipping out about this? Why doesn't he like her?

  
  

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• calliopeia2013 member

  

  October 2012

  Yeeeah, I mean, it's generally a red flag if a partner tries to isolate you from all your friends and family, but it's unclear from this post if he's trying to isolate you from all of your friends, or if he just has something against this one.  And if so, what exactly does he have against her?

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• GoodLuckBear14 member

  

  October 2012

  We really need more information here.  Has he always felt like this towards her?  What is his reason for not wanting her in the WP?

  Proud to be an old married hag!!

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• jnjmommy0609 member

  

  October 2012

  1. Your THINKING about tying the knot but yet he is your fiance? He is not your fiance until he officially proposes. 

  2. It is not a red flag unless he actually tries to isolate you from family and friends and if you guys have had other major issues.

  3. He needs to learn that YOU have say in your side of the wedding party and he has his say on his side. He can suck it up and deal with having people in his wedding that he doesn't like.

  Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

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• StephBeanWed61502 member

  

  October 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_my-fiancee-doesnt-agree-w-my-bestfriends-being-in-my-wedding-party-is-this-a-red-flag?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b0570a27-89e0-49ad-ae4b-c0c226398e5cPost:05f0dfc3-4194-4451-89e4-483847f6a234">Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Agree W/ My bestfriends Being In My Wedding Party.. Is This A Red FLAG????</a>:
  [QUOTE]Yes, it is.  Never marry a man who wants to control you, or expects you to get rid of your friends.
  Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>Retread, you're not wrong, but there's no evidence that's what this guy is doing.  We don't know a darned thing about this "best friend" who he dislikes, and OP said nothing about what he thinks or doesn't think of any of her other friends.  For all we know, bride's best friend is a raving psychopath.  Me telling my H that I don't like one of his friends because I think (or know) that particular person is a freakin' lunatic is NOT me trying to "control" him.  Without more information, I think your statement's just way too broad and absolute to be useful here.</div>

  my to-read shelf:
  

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• samantha24p

  

  October 2012

  Does he act this way with all your friends or just this one? What are his reasons. He can't decide who you can or cannot be friends with. Are you already engaged or just talking about it?

  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  October 2012

  I agree, if you don't know why he doesn't want her in the bridal party you need to sit him down and just tell him that you value his opinion and ask him to specifically tell you why he doesn't want her in the bridal party. If it's just because he doesn't like her, that's not enough. But if he can give you specifics like she's unreliable, drinking issues, etc then he has a legitmate concern and you don't need to worry because he's just looking out for your best interest.

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• jacksonsix member

  

  October 2012

   Don't get married. Chances are he has issues because he tapped that.

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• acaponi87 member

  

  October 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_my-fiancee-doesnt-agree-w-my-bestfriends-being-in-my-wedding-party-is-this-a-red-flag?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b0570a27-89e0-49ad-ae4b-c0c226398e5cPost:085a6591-1e0e-4c10-abf2-be7a3f54dda8">Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Agree W/ My bestfriends Being In My Wedding Party.. Is This A Red FLAG????</a>:
  [QUOTE]<strong>StephBean, until she tells me otherwise, I'll assume the fiance just doesn't like her friends, and would prefer that she not hang out with them.  That is indeed controlling.</strong>  She likes the friend enough to want to have her in the wedding.  That's enough of a statement for me that the friend is a close one.  She isn't telling HIM who he can have in his wedding party, is he????? This behavior gets worse after a wedding, not better.  "Now that you're my wife, I don't think it's appropriate for you to....."  "This is my house now too, and I don't want x in it....." Get it ?  I've been there.  I could be wrong, but I don't think you have.
  Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
  
  That's a whole lot of assuming.
  
  OP, the fact that you are already looking really hard for red flags seems like a bigger issue than the fact that he doesn't want your friend to be your MOH. Also the things like "I THINK" make it seem like maybe you aren't sure that you should marry him.
  
  Like others have said we can't help you a ton more without more info about your relationship.

  June 16, 2012

  

  Pro Pics!

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