Maid of Honour Dilema

Re: Maid of Honour Dilema

• marissa_claire member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  In short, if she cannot make it, don't "replace" her.  I would have still consider her to be your maid of honor.  Usually, when this happens with a bridesmaid we call them "honorary bridesmaids" if they can't be there in person, but since she's already the maid of honor it might be hard to come up with the appropriate wording.

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  First, I'm sorry about your friend. I hope her prognosis improves over the next year.
  
  I like your male friend. He is sensitive enough to realize that your friend can't be replaced by anyone. You should leave things as they are. If you have programs printed, have her listed as your MOH. Those who realize she is not actually there (if that happens) will understand the circumstances, so I don't see the need to add 'honorary or in absentia" to her title. You should save a copy of the program and give it to her with her attendants gift.
  
  The MOH usually holds your flowers and possibly the rings during the ceremony and signs the marriage certificate. You can ask one of the bms or your male friend to do any of those things.
  
  

                     

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• AutumnFair member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_maid-of-honour-dilema?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:90382b6e-bde2-4feb-ac83-c317aec48618Post:b93f65f3-0ecd-4703-b5ee-5f0be6401063">Maid of Honour Dilema</a>:
  [QUOTE]   I asked my best friend to be my Maid of Honour a few months ago.  Unfortunately this summer she was in a very serious accident and has suffered such serious brain injuries, it is very unclear to what degree she will recover, not to mention at what pace her recovery will take.  Our wedding is just less than a year away, and although I hope and pray each day that she will be able to be there, the reality of the situation is she just may not be. <strong> I've talked to the only other friend with whom I'm relatively as close with as my best friend about the possibility of him taking her place.  He is unsure about whether he would like to do that, as he's afraid everyone will know who he would be "replacing"</strong>.  I've only become close with my sister in the past year, and although she is already in the wedding party, I'm not sure about asking her to fill in this role.  She has already agreed to help out with a great deal as my best friend lives overseas.  I'm stumped as to what kind of plan 'b'  I can put on the back burner and pull out if needed down the road.  I'm already planning to just go ahead and buy the maid of honour dress "just incase".  Unfortunately I've moved around a lot in the last 5 years, and although I have a lot of good friends, no one I feel particularly close enough to to potentially ask to take on this role; not to mention that those that will be invited to the wedding will already be traveling from varying distances and I don't feel it fair of me to ask this bit extra of them.  If my best friend can't be with me on our wedding day, that day will be filled with a roller coaster of emotions considering the situation, so I feel that I need that placed filled with someone I can lean on for support throughout the day besides my husband-to-be.    Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions?  I'm open to listening and would love to hear thoughts on this unfortunately stressful and emotional situation. Thanks!
  Posted by lbechthold[/QUOTE]
  <div>
  </div><div>Your friend is right you should NOT replace your MOH spot, a WP can be uneven so just leave the spot open. As for someone being there, I would imagine you will have many family and friends there the day of to keep the nerves down. So in short do nothing, if your friend recovers in time then awesome if not just go on with the show. I do wish your friend a quick and full recovery. </div>

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• deepcovejackie

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.  PP's are right, you should not replace her.

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• ichellemay1

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  You still have some time before you have to make a final decision.  I agree with PP you cannot "replace" her.

  

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• aerinpegadrak member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  MOH wasn't sure if she was going to make the wedding until about 3 days before.  I told her that even if she couldn't be there, she was still my MOH.  She cried.

  This is a neglected planning bio.
  This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
  
  
  Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284

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• sytom member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  I agree with PP but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry to hear about your friend!!!  I hope she's going to be fine.

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