Do you ever . . .

bridetobe71412 · March 2012

. . . wish you could start over? With wedding planning, that is.

I have been having major anxiety and guilt lately about the wedding, how much it's costing my mother, all of the logistics involved, the decor/colors, and so much more. If we didn't have so much set in stone with vendors already, I think I would go in a completely different direction.

Do you guys ever feel that way or are you 100% happy with your decisions?

penny12986 · March 2012

I go back and forth sometimes with whether or not I would have a wedding but in the end, I think that we made the right choice. We made decisions that we could afford and I ended up with what I wanted.

If things had gotten out of control like my budget or guestlist then I would be singing a different tune but I think it will be really great.

LADY324 · March 2012

I am happy for the most part. The thing that bothers me the most is the amount of guests that we have invited. Between both of our parents they have about 100 people that are not a part of our lives. These are friends of theirs and neighbors or distant relatives that we will never see again. FI's mom actually invited her best friend with all of her kids and their spouses. She has about 7 kids!! That is 14 people who I could care less if I ever saw or met!!! But both sets of our parents are giving us a big chunk of money so we have no say in it.

I would have done something smaller and paid for the wedding ourselves so it truly was just our closest family members and friends.

butterflyjumper1 · March 2012

I think I am happy with most of my decisions. I too worry about money and our guest list that spiraled out of control (it started at 170ish and as we continue to add people, we are currently at around 259). However, my parents are paying for it, so I happily add all of their friends and family to the list, I just also don't feel bad about adding more of my friends to the list. Sigh.

I think we are having a wedding that is 100% me and my fiance's taste and style, and I really just hope everyone has fun.

While the money being spent bothers me, my parents gave us an amount of $$ they were comfortable spending, as did my fiance's parents, and then my grandmother contributed, so we built our budget around the numbers that everyone wanted to contribute and felt comfortable with. So even though we are well within the budget that everyone offered, sometimes when I think about how much is being spent, it makes my stomach hurt!!

bells24412 · March 2012

I am Happy for the most part, but I would have fewer guests if it were up to me and I would probably get married on the Beach like i wanted instead of in a church.

butterflyjumper1 · March 2012

edit: I am kind of nervous about my colors working together at this point...I love all of them, but am having anxiety over all of the shades of purple that will become involved in the end. (shades of purple + silver + ivory)

bridetobe71412 · March 2012

I think the things that are bothering me the most are the date and the venue. The venue itself is just SO expensive (NOTHING INCLUDED AT ALL). My mom INSISTED on this venue from the outset, because I said that I love it (and I really, really do) and she wanted to make me happy, but it's been nothing but a headache from the very beginning. It would be so much easier if we were just doing a normal venue.

And the date pisses me off because now I think it's going to be like 100 degrees and I have this big dress and I'm going to be sweaty, and fiance is going to be pissed and all of the guests are going to be pissed and FMIL is going to be complaining and etc. etc.

I'm having a major freak out day. I'm sorry for the vent.

lvissers · March 2012

I totally have these feelings recently. Especially since we have started looking at houses and my parents said they would give us the cost of the wedding and give it to us to buy a house or have a less costly wedding and use the balance towards a house. I was like no way, I want my dream wedding, but now I am starting to get sick of how much everything is costing and we aren't even donig anything too over the top. You spend a year planning this and thinking about it everyday all for just a few hours. Is it worth over $40k for that? I'm sure hoping so, beacuse I don't want to feel guilt after this is all over. Just the venue and dinner is what is killer. It's about $200/pp just for the dinner/drinks. And we aren't even having steak or lobster! lol. Just expensive in Southern Cali! My parents are paying for everything, with my fiance and I contributing about $3,000 towards odds and ends things along the way. My brother is getting married this weekend and I just feel bad for my parents and everyone in my family that they have not one but 2 weddings to go to and pay for less than 3 months from each other. At least it's my brother and I don't have a sister, so my parents got off a little cheaper.

k8888 · March 2012

The only thing I regret so far is not doing more research when it came to photographers. I got a really good deal on ours, but now I'm not sure if I'm crazy about their work. They post a lot of "artsy" stuff on Facebook from their wedding shoots and I really hate a lot of it. When I first booked them, the photography they did was much more of what I wanted, and it seems to have changed.

I always regret my dress but that's probably because I have yet to see it on me in my size so I have lots of anxiety over it.

MeaganR12 · March 2012

I wish I could do a lot over. One of the main reasons we chose our venue was because the site fees were by far the lowest around. But now I've realized they make up for it in the food and bar department ($36/pp for open bar WTF?!). I wish we would have had a destination wedding in Hawaii with only our closest friends and family. But my FI didn't want to make his family spend a ton of money to come. I feel sick thinking about how much money we're spending on the wedding.

I think websites like theknot and stylemepretty got the best of me :-/

Oh I also had a freakout when I realized new years eve was on a Saturday. I was really wishing we would have planned the wedding around that.

bridetobe71412 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_do-you-ever?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:a139728e-b8e0-4875-b062-83979336b22bPost:35384362-18c5-4d8f-b81b-e722e6abad43">Re: Do you ever . . .</a>:
[QUOTE]I wish I could do a lot over. One of the main reasons we chose our venue was because the site fees were by far the lowest around. But now I've realized they make up for it in the food and bar department ($36/pp for open bar WTF?!). <strong>I wish we would have had a destination wedding in Hawaii with only our closest friends and family. </strong>But my FI didn't want to make his family spend a ton of money to come. I feel sick thinking about how much money we're spending on the wedding. I think websites like theknot and stylemepretty got the best of me :-/ Oh I also had a freakout when I realized new years eve was on a Saturday. I was really wishing we would have planned the wedding around that.
Posted by MeaganR12[/QUOTE]

I wish we would have had a destination wedding too. Ours would be in Italy. And honestly, with how much my mom is spending on this wedding, we could rented a villa for a week, hosted the reception, AND paid for our family's airfare and still have been wayyyyy under budget. It's so frustrating to think about. If we didn't already have the whole thing planned/booked, I would change everything.

l_everett · March 2012

Ditto on the destination wedding... I suggested it @ first to FI but he's got a big family and ALOT of close family friends...small town... one of the pluses was that all my fam is halfway across the country so it will cost them the same anyways... I wasn't 100% sold on it myself but i liked the easy-peasy idea of it too... plus it would be so much more intimate than our current guest list. But cest la vie... i am very happy that we are getting married in the field that is the site of our future home

hmacsine · March 2012

I wish I could start over. I wish i would've have changed my date. I changed it so my sister wouldn't miss the wedding but she came home 6mths early. The month of july is such a busy month for me. I probably won't be able to go on a honeymoon because of school.(I was accepted to lpn program and class starts on july 1) I wish i could go to the jop and go on a very nice honeymoon. The budget is stressing me the most but I'm going to make the best of it. I hope when its all over I wont regret anything.

AllyG303 · March 2012

Another ditto on the Hawaii wedding. My parents wanted us to do it stateside so all of the family could come.

At least we're still doing it on the water

Nancy00714 · March 2012

I wish I could change a lot of it, too. I feel bad that my parents are paying for so much of it. I don't know how I could have been so selfish.

I don't think any of FI's family and friends are going to come over from Italy (we're having our church ceremony in Italy in Sept) so instead of sharing this I feel it's a party for me instead of for us. This makes me really sad. And my parents are insulted by the idea that his parents aren't coming...a real slap in the face.

I didn't expect anything from FI's parents but it would be nice if they offered something. My parents paid for most of the NY wedding, we're paying for a part of it and then we're paying for our wedding here.

Aww, girls it sad that so many of us have doubts or regrets

We have to make the most of it! Chins up July Brides!

BrightFirefly · March 2012

While I ADORE our venue,

I'd love to go back and do a destination wedding, slash the guest list in half to just being only family, and get married on a beach somewhere with a seafood reception afterward.

I didn't want to miss out on all the typical wedding things - like showers, dancing, etc - but the more I got into this - the more I realized I would have been happy with a beach wedding and small intimate reception.

littlemoments324 · March 2012

I would have invited less people & spent less on the wedding...I would have continued to dress searching!

MeaganR12 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_do-you-ever?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:a139728e-b8e0-4875-b062-83979336b22bPost:c54c9c8b-2fac-4ab8-bd32-20d531c88c89">Re: Do you ever . . .</a>:
[QUOTE]I would have invited less people & spent less on the wedding...I would have continued to dress searching!
Posted by littlemoments324[/QUOTE]

<div>aww...I love your dress. I had no idea you were having second thoughts about it :-(</div>

BmoreBride311 · March 2012

I think I would have negotiated with some of our vendors more. I'm so happy with our choice of venue and caterer, but they are both so expensive. Just those two costs together are 75% of our original target budget, so there is very little room for everything else. We signed the caterer ~15 months before the event, and we are a big group, so I think we could have done better on the price.

Other than that, I don't have any big changes I would want. Sometimes I doubt my dress when I see other amazing ones, but I think when I put it on that day I'll be in love with again.

michelle11988 · March 2012

I think I would have gone with a smaller amount of invited guests. I also think I would rethink the idea of transportation for all of our guests. I'm happy with the majority of my decisions just some small ones.

bells24412 · March 2012

I am with littlemoments and k8888 i would have tried on different styles of dresses too instead of wanting to be the princess.

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