Wedding Reception Forum

2 Weddings and Receptions?

So, my fiance is a first-generation American whose parents live in India along with the rest of his family. They're all Hindu and expect a traditional South Asian wedding. My family is Jewish and lives here in America and wants a Jewish wedding. Both families are only willing to pay for a wedding of their religion/ethnicity and are willing to each pay for one. Our original plan was to have our big South Asian wedding in India and fly my parents/close family over there and then do the same for his family and a Jewish wedding here in America, but due to some health issues (nothing serious), we're not going to be able to travel to India any time soon (years probably). Not wanting to delay the wedding(s) that long, we're thinking of having both ceremonies over here on the same weekend.

So our plan was then to combine the religious/ethnic traditions and have a mixed up ceremony that satisfies all the traditions that my fiance and I care about. Unfortunetly, neither set of parents is okay with this, as they both want something more traditional. So, we've talked with both families and think we've agreed upon having a Jewish ceremony Saturday evening with reception and then a (naturally much larger) South Asian ceremony on Sunday after noon with reception that evening. If our parents are willing to pay for all this, does this seem doable? Or are we in over our heads?

Re: 2 Weddings and Receptions?

  • I agree with CMGr.  Normally I wouldn't like this plan, but with two sets of traditions so wildly different and fiercly important, you do what you have to do.  Again, be sure that everyone knows which one is the legal ceremony.

    I'd invite everyone to both ceremonies and receptions.  Why not?  It's going to be a looooong weekend, but ultimately it'll be fun!  I would love to go to a traditional Hindu wedding.
  • i don't have a problem with the plan.  I think a lot of Indian weddings are multi-day events anyway.






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  • Ditto PP I think this is one of the rare cases where having 2 weddings is acceptable.
     
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  • Go for it! Sounds like a fun time for all learning about other culture's traditions.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_2-weddings-and-receptions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:3d5b50ab-cc4c-418c-83a1-66a814f700e1Post:45860967-9193-4742-95d2-9c3f6f975a4e">Re: 2 Weddings and Receptions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'll agree with everyone else and say that the two weddings is fine, but only if that is what the two of you want to do. If you two like the idea, then go for it, but from your post it seems like you are just going along with it because, well, who would turn down a free party.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    agree!!

     

  • You two need to figure out what YOU want do do, without your parents interference.  If you agree that you want to have both ceremonies, then I don't see why, under these circumstances, you couldn't do it. 

    I'm trying to remember what an acquaintance from high school did in this situation (it's been almost 20 years).  Her family was Christian, her grooms family Indian/Hindu (he was not devout but respected his parents choice).  They had a traditional Christian ceremony in the early afternoon at a church (their legal ceremony), then the guests traveled to a hotel in town.  They were greeted with beverages and appetizers, and after about an hour, they were escorted into a ballroom for the Hindu ceremony (bridal party changed clothes in the meantime). After the Hindu ceremony, they had another shorter cocktail hour, then a buffet dinner with both American and Indian food, dancing, etc.  Partway through the reception the bride changed back into her American wedding dress for their first dance, cake cutting. Some people chose to attend one ceremony but not the other (all were invited to both), but most guests were very interested in seeing both traditions.  Would your families agree to something like this? 
  • I've known at least two people who had both a Western and an Indian/Malaysian wedding.  The traditions are both so important, so family, and just different enough that if money isn't a problem and you don't mind, I say do it.  My friend who had the Texas and the Malay weddings is originally from Texas but is now tremendously close to her Malay side of the family and her wedding photos are beyond gorgeous.
  • Thanks for all the input! We may end up doing both ceremonies on one day and just one reception, but we'll have to work through all the details. We're just trying to decide on what would make everything easier for us and our guests on the day/weekend.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_2-weddings-and-receptions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:3d5b50ab-cc4c-418c-83a1-66a814f700e1Post:c5b5bb18-2330-40ef-9861-9d02c8206d39">Re: 2 Weddings and Receptions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think if it's important to both of YOU to have a Jewish ceremony and a Hindi ceremony, then that's fine.  However, I am always a big supporter of "you are adults now, so having religious ceremonies just to please your parents is wrong".  If you don't subscribe to these beliefs, then it is an insult to those who do for you to fake your way through a ceremony in order to please others.  If that is the case, i'd say plan and pay for your own wedding and have your own ceremony the way YOU GUYS want it.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    All of this. Have the wedding that YOU BOTH want, not the one(s) that your familes expect.
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  • cnf2013cnf2013 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2012
    My FI's parents did this. They actually had a tradtional American style wedding in Turkey, where they met, fell in love nad lived for many years. Then they moved to America and had their traditional Turkish wedding there. Kind of backwards, but they always speak so fondly of it and the pictures are wonderful to see. Enjoy your double party weekend!
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  • i like rebeccas idea of what to do.  but i would do what you 2 decide. 

    maybe plan your wedding and incorporate ideas from each side that you 2 like
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited October 2012
    Well, if you can have two separate ceremonies very close in time and location, I could accept that.  Otherwise, I'd tell your parents that due to your time/budget/whatever limitations, you just won't be able to honor their "traditions" by having separate weddings where one side or the other is favored while the other is totally ignored.  It may well mean that you will have to pay for the wedding yourself and/or that one side won't attend, but it will be your wedding.
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