Bride Wars

chrissie827 · January 2012

I just want some opinions on this. Maybe I'm being a bridezilla, you tell me. I have a cousin who has been engaged for over 2 years. She was not setting a wedding date until they found the perfect house (which to my knowledge they have not found yet). I got engaged in August and set a date for 10/20/12. Today I found out that she finally decided to set a date for this August, 2 months before my wedding!!! Maybe I'm crazy but I feel like she is stealing my thunder! I am not the type of person who is a drama queen or needs to always be the center of attention and this is my ONE day to be the center of attention and I feel like she's taking away from that because everyone is going to be focusing on her wedding now. I'm already sort of the black sheep in the family because I don't speak their language and follow all of their cultural traditions. Am I wrong for being upset about this? Am I overreacting?

acaponi87 · January 2012

Sorry, but I think you are overreacting.

2 months is a lot of time. If it was 2 days, or 2 weeks I could understand but 2 months is a long time. No one is going to be focusing on her wedding except her. She's been engaged for 2 years, I wouldn't get pissed at her for finally setting a date that's the same year as you. As you know, lots of things go into choosing a date. Don't take it so personally.

Relax and focus on your own day.

sparkles776 · January 2012

It would bother me a little bit, but the PP is right, just focus on your day.

emarston1 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_bride-wars-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:4e2ac615-10e4-416e-a4f8-7732ad33398fPost:aee13a34-654e-4ec7-9c69-a8c9d99a2d14">Bride Wars</a>:
[QUOTE]I just want some opinions on this. Maybe I'm being a bridezilla, you tell me. I have a cousin who has been engaged for over 2 years. She was not setting a wedding date until they found the perfect house (which to my knowledge they have not found yet). I got engaged in August and set a date for 10/20/12. Today I found out that she finally decided to set a date for this August, 2 months before my wedding!!! Maybe I'm crazy but I feel like she is stealing my thunder! I am not the type of person who is a drama queen or needs to always be the center of attention and <strong>this is my ONE day to be the center of attention and I feel like she's taking away</strong> from that because everyone is going to be focusing on her wedding now. I'm already sort of the black sheep in the family because I don't speak their language and follow all of their cultural traditions. Am I wrong for being upset about this? Am I overreacting?
Posted by chrissie827[/QUOTE]
But she's not because you still get your one day -- your wedding day. All brides get one day, not a week, a month, or a year. One day.

It was not a malicious attempt to "steal thunder" from you, they chose a date that works best for them. They shouldn't have to put their lives on hold because someone else they know also happens to be getting married. You know how you want everyone to be happy for you because you're getting married? You should also show that to other people.

I promise that your wedding day will be no less special because someone is getting married two months before you.

StephLove12 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_bride-wars-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:4e2ac615-10e4-416e-a4f8-7732ad33398fPost:aee13a34-654e-4ec7-9c69-a8c9d99a2d14">Bride Wars</a>:
[QUOTE]I just want some opinions on this. Maybe I'm being a bridezilla, you tell me. I have a cousin who has been engaged for over 2 years. She was not setting a wedding date until they found the perfect house (which to my knowledge they have not found yet). I got engaged in August and set a date for 10/20/12. Today I found out that she finally decided to set a date for this August, 2 months before my wedding!!! Maybe I'm crazy but I feel like she is stealing my thunder! I am not the type of person who is a drama queen or needs to always be the center of attention and this is my <strong>ONE day</strong> to be the center of attention and I feel like she's taking away from that because everyone is going to be focusing on her wedding now. I'm already sort of the black sheep in the family because I don't speak their language and follow all of their cultural traditions. Am I wrong for being upset about this? Am I overreacting?
Posted by chrissie827[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I wasn't aware that days lasted two months? </div><div>
</div><div>Yes, you're overreacting. Between April and my wedding in October, I have four friends and a cousin getting married. Weddings happen. Unless she planned it for the SAME day as yours, I would just not stress out and enjoy being engaged and have fun planning for your day.

</div>

Meegles4 · January 2012

This happened to a couple friends of mine a few years back. One planned and set her wedding, and then the other got engaged after everything was planned for the friend and set her date prior to her friend's. The first friend was a little ticked and felt a bit like you did, but she got over it. There were also other issues at play there that made the bride feel annoyed.

That said, I get that you're annoyed and I'd certainly vent about it for a day or two. But then I'd move on.

chrissie827 · January 2012

Thanks everyone. I guess I am over reacting. It just hurts my feelings because that side of the family always treats me like I don't belong anyway. I never get invited to family get togethers, which they have a lot of. I only get invited to big events and holidays and even then I get invited last minute. I guess I'm really just hurt in general about how they treat me and now it's finally coming out. But that's okay because I'm just going to take a deep breath right now and keep planning for my perfect day and not worry about it. Thanks for calming me down!

Milsey32 · January 2012

I got engaged, set a date, then my cousin got engaged and set a date 2 weeks before mine. We had our own showers, our own b-parties, and our own wedding days. I don't think much, if any, thunder was stolen. And that was two WEEKS apart. Not months. Calm down, sorry.

rcj2rcd · January 2012

I think you're overreacting. DHs brother got married 6 weeks after we did. We actually had some relatives ask why we weren't having a double wedding (and they were being serious). I was excited to have someone else to go through the planning process with me - it was a great bonding experience for me and now-SIL. Like PP said, you want people to be happy for you and you should do that in return. You are both having different weddings that will reflect your personalities. If you act like she is stealing your thunder then she probably will too and you'll wind up with a lot of unnecessary drama.

Klyn1983 · January 2012

I just went through the same exact thing with my sister so I understand your little freak-out. Just relax and take a deep breath. When I called my Grandma freaking out about how close our dates would be she gave me this advice: "Let her go ahead of you. It will be helpful for you to know what you don't want done at your wedding a few weeks later."

Snarky, but so true.

As for being the families black sheep, I have that title in my family as well. Don't let it bring you down. I tend to just avoid that entire side of the family. Life is too short to allow anyone to make you feel unimportant. I surround myself with those family members who support me-I suggest you do the same.

It's so much better than feeling like an afterthought! (hugs)

Sue-n-Kevin · January 2012

I agree, just relax and enjoy planning for your wedding.

My boss's daughter is not getting married in Oregon until July 2013, because my boss has 5 siblings, and 2 sibling's kids (cousins of the bride) are getting married this coming summer. In the interest of not extending the entire FAMILY'S budget, they decided to wait. They all live all over the country and planned it this way. Every summer has been busy like this for all of them.

Families generally have cousins fairly close in age. It happens for birthdays, graduations, weddings.........I've had summers where I had 4 graduation parties within a few weeks........it didn't lessen the "specialness" of each and every graduate. While graduation is not the same as a wedding, it just shows that stuff often happens in "bunches" and there is no way to get away from that.

And I LOVE your grandma's take on it.

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