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wcasar · March 2012

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morenachica110 · March 2012

It's never crossed my mind because neither FI nor I really have anything and won't get much if (God forbid) something happens to someone in our family (wills). Sooo... yeah... lol

celticmyss · March 2012

I have been hearing more and more about how good of an idea this is if you come into a relationship with an imbalance in debt/wealth ratio. Personally, it isn't an issue but in your situation I would definitely consider it.

FH and I will not be combining finances after the wedding. If we were I'd also be more inclined to consider a pre-nup.

Worst case scenario you never need it and that's a pretty great worst case!

mamameech · March 2012

My FI had mentioned this way back when marriage started being discussed and I was totally insulted. I felt like he viewed himself as more valuable than me despite the fact that I actually make more money than he does and I pay half the mortgage on HIS house. He's always been so hung up on money and after seeing what his parents went through during their divorce, I think he assumed marriages just end that way.

Now that we are actually getting married, it's never come up.

I think it can be a really touchy topic to discuss so tread carefully. I understand the logic but in the end, it's not something I'd ever be comfortable with no matter how much $$ I had.

junebug19 · March 2012

FI and his sister own a portion of their parents home and FMIL is making me sign a pre nup, but it will ONLY include her house. FI has fought it, but FMIL claims it isn't me she is concerned about it is FSIL's choice in partners and she would want it to be "fair" if she ever had to have them sign one. Whatever. It has never come up between FI and myself to get one.

Starfish0116 · March 2012

I don't see the big deal with a prenup. I would sign one if FI wanted me to. I don't see it as "expecting you'll get divorced", but more about being prepared. We honestly NEVER know will happen in our future. Everyone starts out their marriage thinking it will be forever, but clearly with a crazy high US divorce rate, we know it's not always the case.

I don't think it's a matter of your FI thinking he is more valuable, I think it's more about protecting assets that he/she has worked hard to build.

FI and I aren't in that situation, because we've been together for 12 years - since well before either of us "had" anything. Everything we have is what we've acquired together. Had he or I had any significant assets I wouldn't have a problem with a prenup.

gabriel0915 · March 2012

We have never talked about it because neither of us has anything except student loan debt. I know that I will inherit a good amount when my grandparents pass but I wouldn't sign a pre-nup for that honestly.We won't be combining finances until I pay off my debt and have a full time job again. It was actually my idea, not his and he seems to not be a big fan and wants to combine. If that's what you want then that is what works for you.

bridalmomma · March 2012

@ Junebug... how is FMIL "making" you sign a prenup... i would think that is between you and FI only. I'm thinking it's nothing to do with her and I wouldn't sign it!

MrsBassPlaya · March 2012

I acutally brought this up to FI. It hadn't even occured to him. We thoroughly discussed it and decided that we won't be getting one for our own reasons, but we would both be willing to sign one if the other felt like it was a good idea. If you're at the point that you're getting married, you should definitely feel like you can bring this up to your FI.

BMcLeodTeam · March 2012

FI and I talked about this after seeing this post, but will not be doing one. I agree with PP though, if you're marrying someone there is no reason not to feel comfortable bringing this up.

DirtyWater · March 2012

FI, and his parents both want one. I told FI, that I refuse to sign one and if he pushes it we wont be getting married.

These are my reasons:
1) He bought a house in addition to a previous condo. Knowing we were getting married, he proposed a month before, without the ring. I did not agree to buying this house, but he went in with his father.

2) Home above is where we have lived for 4yrs and will most likely still live here and add on when we have children. I pay for 1/2 the mortgages on both places, pay bills and maintenance etc.

3) He wants it to say that this house is left to his son.

4) If we have children why are our children going to be punished. This house will be just as much theirs as it is his son's that he has now.

5) I would never take anything from his son or our future children. It makes me feel like they think I'm some kind of gold digger. They always have some strange conspiracy theories about everything.

6) At the time he made 3x as much as I did. Now we are very similar in pay and all of our separate debt is gone. That is what we aimed for before we got married, so if no debt is involved I don't see why we need one.

7) If his parents are worried that his and his sons inheritances are in jeopardy, state in your will that it doesn't go to all of his family that it goes to him and his son. Which still makes me mad, because what about the other grandchildren, his two sisters could have as well as the future children we want to have.

AshnRobo · March 2012

I've spoken to a lawyer about this topic. His advice was get one. Even if you don't have assest to protect. The prenup will lay out how the divorce will go down if it does happen. It will save us both money if we do end up getting a divorce.

Obviously we don't plan on that, but like PP said you never know the future.

smartlypretty · March 2012

FI and I won't be getting one. We have similar student loan debt, similar savings, and we have been dating since we had nothing. Our finances/lives are so completely commingled right now that I would have a problem right now laying out what is "mine" and what is "his". He is a partner is an LLC but right now the company isn't worth anything. I guess if we divorce then the first thing I will do is initiate a hostile company takeover.

entropicbeauty · March 2012

I am requesting my FI sign a prenup.

He is an entreprenuer and has already run into issues with one of his past ventures (he's being sued right now and will have to declare bankruptcy)...so I absolutely see the validity in protecting my own assets. I intend to include a clause that specifically calls out that my assets are my own and anything I earn can not be touched by lawsuits.

The prenup is not to imply we will divorce eventually, it is to protect my assets from potential lawsuits in the future so we can continue to live the way we want to without worrying about losing everything. I know he plans to continue with future plans to build another business and it is highly likely stuff like this could occur again in the future.

I also plan to put any joint accounts we ever have together as joint tenancy - essentially that will mean that if he is sued, no one would be able to go after those accounts because I am an equal owner of the account (only instance this wouldn't work is if we were BOTH being sued...not likely to ever happen).

Just something to think about. There's no reason to feel insulted, it's just a safety net of sorts.

SCogs18 · March 2012

I talked to my FI about getting one and he was pretty upset and insulted about it. I had good reason to ask, I have been left some money by my grandparents, and as an only child, stand to inherit 100% of my parent's assets/life insurance when they die. I talked to my wealth management team and they said that as long as you don't co-mingle assets (like put your FI/H's name on a trust/account) it is safe in divorce proceedings. Because of this conversation, we will not be getting one. I just won't be 100% co-mingling with him, but we will still have a joint account any may use some of my money for a down payment on a house.

I'm totally fine with splitting any assets earned during the marriage 50/50. It just seems fair to me.

meagandal · March 2012

I am not concerned with a marital pre-nup, I was worried that his family might push that issue but as far as I know its never come up. We do cuttently have a cohabiataion agreement on file with our lawyer and a lot of what is set up in that is essentially how it would go down in case of a divorce. We have talked about it and agree its not neccesary we feel the same, I have some student loan debt but other than that we are at a fairly equal playing field. If I were to become a stay at home mom and/or if we were to start a bussiness then things could change and I think we might possibly discuss and document legal proceddings to draw out how those things could be dissolved or compensated for in the event of a divorce.

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