Wedding Woes

T-day Up In The Air

So my mom pitched a fit last night over a discussion I opened (we were in the hospital visiting dad - H was with me) regarding some steps she's taking/not taking in some of the legal stuff. She took it as me attacking her. Dad was really clear headed and he got involved in the conversation as did H. She totally flipped out, got all defensive, and stormed out without saying good-bye to any of us.

H and I were invited (as were mom and dad) to my cousin's house for T-day. We accepted months ago. When Dad took the downturn we decided to do T-day at my parents' house, just the 4of us. Mom said she would tell Cousin. Apparently she didn't because I got an email (as did Mom) about what time to be at my cousin's house.

With Mom's temper tantrum I don't know what to do. Do I call Cousin and say, "Hey it's up in the air I'll have to let you know Wednesday night" or do I say, "Here's the situation, we're going to my parents' because of x,y, and z." Do I risk doing that and then ending up not having T-day at all?

I'm annoyed as all hell with my mother. I understand the stress she's under. I'm under it too. I was merely asking if she explored all avenues with this situation since it's highly time sensitive and her appt with this new lawyer isn't until Dec 1.

Re: T-day Up In The Air

  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry TT.   Y'all are just going through so much and no time is a good time, but with the holidays coming up and everything, it just adds so much to the stress.  ::hugs::

     If you can make it to BFE Missouri, you can join us for T-day.   Even though it will be cold, I can rustle up a pool boy and some virgin mangoritas.  :) 

    ::more hugs::
  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    TT, if I'm being honest I'd stay  home, me and H, and have thanksgiving just the two of us, sneaking fatcat a bit of turkey all "oops I dropped it" style.

    You guys need a break from family, imo.
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  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I can understand your annoyance, and I would feel the same, but I would just count on doing it at your parent's house.  I'm sure she's just completely overwhelmed, and I hope that she realizes that she made a fool out of herself.
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I'd ask cousin if she can be backup plan.
    W/ the situation, she'll likely be OK w/ it, right?  unless she's an ass?
  • edited December 2011
    My eye hasn't stopped twitching since last night.

    BC, we're going to do an "orphan's Thanksgiving" in December with some friends. I want to spend this year with my Dad because we don't know what next year will bring. Otherwise H and I would be staying home this year.
  • edited December 2011
    GBCK, not a bad idea. I'll be calling her today.
  • zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Ditto GBCK.  In most houses there is so much food that it isn't a big deal if an extra 2 or 4 people show up.  But not all hosts/hostesses are cool with uncertainty. 

    But if your cousin knows about your dad's issues then hopefully she understands that your plans are up in the air.
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  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Would "not having t-day at all" be so horrible?

    If your Dad is still in the hospital, go visit him there. If he's at home, go visit him at home. Your mom will (likely) be over her fit by then and, at least, won't deny you the opportunity to visit your father.

    I'd tell cousin what happened and apologize for not letting them know sooner.

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  • edited December 2011
    T-day is the one holiday I look forward to all year. Especially this year when I can eat like crazy! (I've totally been out-eating everyone lately)

    I really wanted this year to be something too, since it's my feeling that next year might not happen with Dad.
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Tell your cousin you are sorry for being so late to respond, but you won't be there.  With everything going on with your dad she will understand.

    Plan on having T-day with your dad wherever he may be.

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