Family style dinner vs sit down vs buffet?

lievkoteek · February 2010

I want an intimate, casual, and fun reception dinner. My FI and family is Russian and my side is Italian. We are serving both kinds of cusines. I have been looking at all the options for different reception dinner options. Our wedding is on a Sunday and the reception will start at approx. 6:30pm. Does anyone have any experience with family style dinners? I have a strong opposition towards buffet but I am trying to look at all options.

Lasairiona · February 2010

Personally I don't like family style at all. Simply for the fact that the platters are extremely heavy and people will accidentally tip them, trying to balance that heavy weight in one hand while they dish their food with the other, and spill on their fancy clothes. Also, you will have to forgo any centerpieces as they take up the entire table that isn't being used by place settings.

I've never had any issues with a buffet and people generally prefer those as it allows you to pick what you want and leave behind what you don't or can't eat. The only problem with that is that anyone who has difficulty walking or standing for long periods will not be able to fill their own plates so their spouse has to do that.

I've never seen a plated meal in a banquet setting so I can't comment on that.

Sue-n-Kevin · February 2010

What the prior poster said about family style is true; personally, I've always felt the table is "cluttered" when I've been to these types of receptions. Also, as items run out on the plates, the servers either have to be really attentive or fast to replenish that, and it's a catastrophe if there is no more coming of the favorite food because the budget didn't allow it.

We are having a buffet, which is something I've seen work well at weddings or other formal parties. People can take what they want, ignore what they don't. I've never been to a wedding that runs out of anything on the buffet. You seem to be putting a lot of thought into what foods you are serving, keeping in mind your ethnic heritages, which is special.

If there is a personal reason you don't like buffets, discuss them with your venue. If their choices are limiting you (maybe you don't want a veggie, or potato, etc), ask them if they will substitute something.

Good luck.

jagore08 · February 2010

I like family style and was considering that for my reception as well. We did ended up going with a buffet simply due to time. DH and I were the first to get our food. We were able to eat while most people were in line getting their food. While they were eating, we were able to visit all the tables to make sure we said hello and thanked everyone personally for coming to celebrate with us.

SarahPLiz · February 2010

We are going with family style. Buffets are unheard of in FI's Romanian family, and we didn't want to limit portions with a plated meal. Our families are all on board with the idea. We want our family and friends to feel like they are at a family meal, which is not plated in either of our cultures.

And it actually saves us money on centerpieces, and I don't think I will miss them.

MOBinFL2008 · February 2010

I enjoy both family style dinners and plated dinners. I do not care for buffets at all. I always feel like I'm standing on the cafeteria line waiting for my school lunch when I'm on a buffet line.

Knot Annie · February 2010

Family style is one my new favorites. It can be done beautifully, IMO, and really is a great conversation starter.

Good luck!

Moscow04 · February 2010

I'm not a fan of buffets either. I have been to several of those and each time I have had difficulty at the buffet holding my plate and putting food on it while trying to get salad in the other plate and its just a mess. The intentions are good but I hate seeing a line of people (even if its called out by table number) it reminds me of being in a mess hall at summer camp when I was young. I think the plated dinners are much more formal and organized. I admit I've never been to a family style but it sounds like a great option. Atleast better than buffet. Especially if you are incorporating ethnic food, I'd probably stay away from a plated dinner because most people have probably never tried the foods provided and to limit them on a plate might make some go hungry.

elyse.mike · February 2010

I'm not sure if cost is a concern for you or not, but I've heard that family style is typically the most expensive option from most of the venues we met with. Basically you have to pay for all the service of a sit-down (actually the cheapest) and all the extra food associated with a buffet. But if you're skipping the centerpieces to do family style, then that's a trade-off. Personally, I don't like sit down dinners because the food never looks as good by the time they put it in front of you 30 minutes after they plate it. Plus you run the risk of someone being served cold food. We're going with a buffet & the venue will serve the wedding party. Good luck!

Faye&Conrad · February 2010

Buffets and family style both have good and bad qualities about them, much of what PP's said about cluttered tables and replenishing food, and bigger price tag are true about the family style.

Also buffet can be a huge pain if you have a big guest list, it can take a lot of time for everyone to make it through the line. Perhaps talk to your venue about having two buffet line set up so it can go quicker and guests can be less irritated. My friend had a buffet with 200+ guests and 1 buffet line. It took FOREVER.

molly.p · February 2010

we did family style and the platters were very light- chicken and green beans on one, sliced stuffed flank steam and asparagus on the other and mashed potatoes in a bowl. we had square vases w/ a bundle of hydrangea for center pieces, the dishes had high sides (no spilling) and there were 3 per table. Also, the staff walked around to eat table to see if there was interest for any more (one table got a whole 'nother platter of the flank steak). we made room on the tables by not having a ton of glassware and no favors. the salad was served plated first.

i absolutely LOVED family style and i'm glad we did not do it any other way (yes, it was a more expensive option but it was perfect). and we weight tested the platters and pass them around- no problem-o! it defiintely took a teeny more coordinating but it was so home-y and familial feeling! good luck with whatever you decide1

blondie82784 · February 2010

We decided to go with buffet because family style I was afraid of people dropping heavy plate and if you needed more food on the plate your going to still have to wait. With buffet even if it takes longer to get through the line at least I know that I dont have to be rushed to eat which I always feel like I am with a sit down type meal. I personally rather pay the extra money and know my guest are getting a variety of food rather than one choice.

tommyandy · February 2010

You can do a combo; plate the salad, have the hot food on the buffet where it will stay hot, and have the cold food served family style.

andyandhillary · February 2010

Buffet: Nope. Very few people like it, it rarely saves money and often costs more money, and the presentation of the food is usually kind of gross.

Sit down: It's great if there are enough wait staff to get people their meals in a timely manner. Sure, it means people will not have a second helping, but how often do people need/want one? If you're having a cocktail hour with snacks and a meal AND a cake that's a lot of food, IMO.

Family Style: I think this works wonderfully when people have more "ethinic" menus, like yours! I went to a wedding that had middle eastern food served family style and I thought it worked great. The table was not too cluttered because the dishes were served in an order so everything wasn't on the table all at once. The food also didn't run out but if you have a good caterer they should not have a problem with knowing how much to serve X amount of people.

k3montel · February 2010

IMO family style is the best. We are having family style, and we found that it was actually cheaper than sit-down. It was a little more than buffet, but at least people don't have to walk to get their food; I feel like they are more likely to drop something if they are carrying their plates from the buffet to their seats. I also don't understand why people have to nix centerpieces. In my area, most weddings are family style, and I've never seen the centerpieces get in the way. With family style, you are free to take as much or as little as you want, and it brings people together. My Italian family eats this way at all of our gatherings, and it seems to work very well.

mikala.daniel · February 2010

We are doing family style at our wedding! I am not a fan of buffets, but plated meals make things seem stuffy. Our wedding is outside and we aren't doing centerpieces to make room for the food! All of my guests seem very excited and think its a fun idea.

rands09 · February 2010

My thought is that depending on your individual style and tastes, there are pros and cons to each option.

We are going with a sit down for much of the same reason that AndyandHillary gave:

To begin, our venue is well known for it's amazing cuisine, and the restaurant associated with the Inn where we're getting married is consistanlty listed in the "Best Of" categories in Maryland...in fact, whenever we told folks (even vendors) where we're getting married, the first thing they all said is that our guests are in for a special treat with the food! So, we want them to be able to be seated, relaxed and enoy being spoiled on us...

Also, as AandH mentioned, we are serving substantial butler passed h'doerves during cocktail hour (unlimited), in addition to the fruit and cheese and pastry tables that will be available, and after dinner, there will be cake and a fruit or sherbert option as well. That is plenty of food for a 5-6 hour period, I think. Our goal isn't to feed them for life (tongue in cheek!), but to feed them for the night and still not have them too fat to dance and have a good time with us :-)

Again, in the end, it all still comes down to personal preference...but I learned in life that your first instinct is normally right - if, for whatever reason - you don't care for buffets, then that is probably not the best way for you go...GL!

cellarius · February 2010

we are doing a buffet. a family style i realy dislike. kinda awkward, i think. the guests having to pass big heavy hot plates themselves in [in our case] formalwear doesn't seem like a good idea. it seems like it has the potential to go pretty badly imo. why are you opposed to a buffet? i don't think a buffet means it has to be casual. we're having a formal fall/winter wedding & are doing a buffet. it's still gourmet foods & the atmosphere is formal it's just we want ppl to be able to move around a bit, mingle, talk, etc instead of confined to one specific spot all night. it's also way cheaper! where we looked it's 1500 as opposed to 6 thousand [which we're using on a honeymoon] just so ppl don't have to get up & walk 5 feet which i think is ridiculous.

luckyme502 · February 2010

We are going with a plated dinner for our reception. We chose this because we have quite a few guests who are older and many younger children. I felt like this would be the most convenient for every one. I have been to plated dinner and buffet wedding receptions and I prefer the plated dinners.

kaesha · February 2010

FWIW, I think you can do any of these options well. It's a matter of organization and timing.

DecLove2010 · February 2010

go with a buffet

[Deleted User] · February 2010

Russian cuisine and Italian cuisine have some common denominators but the flavors are different. A buffet would be a nice set up, where you have one area that's Italian and one that's russian. Or you could mix and mingle a sit down. Where the appetizer is a traditional Russian Zakusky. Depending on your budget, Russians have the best caviar. And then alternate italian, russian etc.

Or you can take your basics most common ingrediants from both regions. These include: eggplant, meats excluding fish, garlic, and find a recipe both families can enjoy. Russians like sour tastes, if it helps.

suppahipbride · February 2010

Since our event is black tie, a sit down dinner is the best option.Our venue has an award winning chef who prides his food. we wnated an elegant atmopshere where our guetss are served from start to finnish incluidng a cocktail hour. We recently went to a buffet style reception where the guest count was very large. My FI and I were in the last group to get food. the food was lukewram from sitting all that time. The line almost ran out of food so we could not actually serve oursleves, the attendants gave us their own portion sizes a sto "stretch" the food. the quality of the food was okay, but I have been to buffet style events before that had better results. Go with what you feel comfortable with and what you can afford. Sit down is more my style.

lilmizdncnqueen · February 2010

We're doing buffet - it's the only thing I've ever pictured for my wedding. A sit down dinner, in my opinion, is very formal. We're going for a more fun mingling type feel. Also - I've been to a wedding with a sit down dinner & it sucks if you don't like what's on your plate when it comes. At least with a buffet, the guests can choose what they want to eat.

lizziemoopsc · February 2010

We are doing a combination of plated/family style. We're having it at a fondue restaurant so people can pick and choose what they eat, but its a common cooking/dipping liquid. However, we're also only having 40 guests and no centerpieces. I love the idea of plated/family dinners. My sister had a buffet and while it was very nice, it still brings back waiting in line at the school cafeteria for me :-P. I do feel like it is a great conversation starter and it gets people interacting. But, that's just my opinion!

ray <3 danita · February 2010

We are doing family style, It's really our only option because of space. Plated dinners would be way too expensive. My sister had family style at her wedding and I think it worked well. Maybe it makes a difference what people are accostomed to. Do you have large family gatherings that are served family style? We have several a year and it's never been a problem, although I would certainly consider how formal your wedding will be. Happy wedding!

Ken&Cass · February 2010

I did family style at my first wedding and no one complained because they all got to eat as much as they wanted of what they liked. Of course, last time it was pretty casual. This time since I am asking people to dress up I am doing a sit down, because I feel that if I am asking for semi-formal it's appropriate to do sit down. I don't like the buffet style for a meal eaither, but am doing buffet appetizers during the cocktail hour this time.

happy C&V · April 2010

I am Russian and my FI is Italian. We also had a delima when it came to food... and the way it's served. Neither of us like Buffett and I like family style but thought it might be a bit uncomfortable for those that are sharing a table but don't know eachother. So we decided to go with a station themed wedding. We are having a cocktail hour with 35 passed h'dvs and a heavy italian anti-pasta display. Then for the recepiton we are having 12 different stations, a Russian Station, a Caviar Station, a Rissoto, Ravioli and Gnocci station, and a bunch other. We worked it out with our venue that there will be food available all night long to our guets. Because Russian's are drinkers I did not want there to be a null in the food because people need to eat when they drink. It is much more expensive this way but it might also be because we are having 12 stations... most people that do station theme only do about 3 stations. We are getting married on an off night (Wed.) and are paying prime price of what we would be paying on a Saturday night in June for a regular sit down. If we did our menu on a Saturday night in June we would be paying well over $200 per person.

So... just an option. Hope it helped. What are you doing for music?

Family style dinner vs sit down vs buffet?

Re: Family style dinner vs sit down vs buffet?

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